


Focused Anger

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 72,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21917014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: Jeremy just wants to belong. He just wants to be a real part of Fake AH. And he wants Vagabond to throw him around and fuck his brains out, but that’s unrelated.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.Warning: This is consensual rape play, but at times it’s dubcon.Trigger warnings: Sexual assault, past traumas, PTSD, anxiety/panic attacks, brief “daddy” mention
Comments: 305
Kudos: 304





	1. Chapter 1

“V, come on, man,” Jeremy protested, “You gotta release that shit. Let me help, I’m good at getting people to chill. You can’t just bottle it up.”

“Watch me,” Vagabond growled, moving to slam his door.

Jeremy blocked it with a forearm and braced his other against the doorframe to keep the door open.

“V, you get sloppy when you’re this angry!” He snapped, “You can’t keep endangering the rest of the team like that!”

He stumbled forward a bit as the door swung open suddenly. Vagabond grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him the rest of the way in. The door slamming and locking was one of the scariest sounds he’d ever heard before. He shuffled backwards as Vagabond advanced on him, hands up.

“Whoa, dude, I’m sorry,” he amended, flustered, “I didn’t mean-“

He interrupted himself by bumping into a wall. His eyes darted around, looking for escape.  Nope.  He was stuck. Any way he tried to slip away would be blocked. Plus he kinda deserved a punch or two for saying that. It was a bit of a low blow and not actually true. Vagabond was very professional, even when pissed off. He swallowed as Vagabond raised his hand, ready for a slap, but the man grabbed his wrist tightly and pressed it over his crotch. 

Jeremy’s eyes shot down to where Vagabond was holding his hand against him. That was definitely a bulge. The guy was hard.  _And big,_ Jeremy thought with a spark in his spine. Vagabond’s free hand slammed into the wall next to his head and he jumped, eyes going back to Vagabond’s glacial stare.

“O-oh,” he mumbled, suddenly shaky, “Um, I could h-help you find s-someone?”

_Or you could toss me over a flat surface and fuck me until I scream,_ his brain supplied unhelpfully.

“No.”

Jeremy almost jumped at the man’s low voice.

“Do you...want me?” He asked quietly, face red.

“Yes.”

Jeremy shuddered.

“Wh-What d-do you want?” He sputtered, “I-I can’t blow y-you. Y-you’re too b-big.”

“No.”

Vagabond leaned in to speak in his ear, pressing his hips forward, trapping their hands between them.

“I want to force you,” he growled, sending electricity through Jeremy’s blood, “I want to shove my cock in you with the bare minimum of lube. I want to make your ass tear around me. I want you to fucking cry.”

His hips were grinding against Jeremy’s hand who tried to get his breathing under control. 

“You still want to help, little boy?” Vagabond sneered.

“Yes!” Jeremy blurted breathlessly, “Yes, fuck yes, fuck me up.”

Vagabond’s breathing hitched.

“I should’ve known you were a fucking whore,” he groaned, “Fuck. I-I need-“

He cut himself off by pushing away, yanking at Jeremy’s pants to get them open. Jeremy didn’t know what to do. Was he allowed to fight? They hadn’t exactly laid out ground rules on this. He decided to test it by shoving Vagabond’s hands away from him. Vagabond jolted in surprise, but immediately dove back for his jeans. When Jeremy’s hands came down to push his away again, Vagabond grabbed one and shoved it against the wall. Jeremy’s hips twitched forward. Vagabond caught his eyes.

“You want to fight?”

His eyes seemed to search Jeremy’s face as Jeremy nodded frantically. 

“Oh god,” Vagabond muttered.

His hand not pinning Jeremy’s reached down to rub against his own crotch.  _He liked it,_ Jeremy thought.  _He wants me to struggle._ Jeremy shuddered.  _ Oh boy. This is gonna go right down a rabbit hole, isn’t it?  _

“Colors?” Vagabond questioned, “Verbal response please.”

“Y-Yes, I can d-do colors,” he assured him.

Vagabond pulled off his mask and tossed it aside. Jeremy stared at the bare lower half of his face for a moment in surprise. Vagabond pointed at himself.

“Ryan.”

“Jeremy.”

Then they were on each other. Jeremy twisted his wrist, trying to yank his hand from Ryan’s tight grip. Ryan yanked Jeremy’s arm down, twisting it into an awkward position. Jeremy hissed, throwing a blind hook that Ryan easily blocked. Jeremy launched at him, throwing his weight against him to loosen his grip. Ryan stumbled backwards, taken by surprise. Jeremy got his hand free in time to grab him around the small of his back and tackle him the rest of the way to the floor. 

Ryan grunted as they landed, sending an uppercut to his side, knocking Jeremy’s breath out of him. Jeremy wheezed grabbing Ryan’s forearm in an attempt to stop the next hit and yanking his other hand free from where it was trapped between the floor and Ryan. As soon as it was free, Ryan seized his biceps and shoved, rolling them. Jeremy gasped as he was shoved against the floor and immediately wrapped his legs around Ryan to constrict his breathing. It worked to some degree as Ryan had become distracted trying to rip Jeremy’s shirt apart. Jeremy fumbled, trying to wrestle Ryan’s hands off his shirt and shoved with his legs, rolling them again. 

He sat on Ryan’s stomach, fully winding the man and using the opportunity to try and get his hands around Ryan’s neck. He was unable to before the world tilted and Ryan sent him rolling over his head. Jeremy landed hard on his back and rolled, trying to put distance between them. Ryan grabbed his ankle and pulled him backwards before laying himself over Jeremy’s back, sandwiching him against the ground. Jeremy panted trying to get his breath back as Ryan ripped his shirt down the back, shoving the fabric down his arms to his wrists. 

Jeremy kicked, trying to get his feet under him to wiggle away while trying to jerk his wrists out of the makeshift binding. He grunted as Ryan finally leaned off him enough to allow wiggle room, but he didn’t get very far as Ryan grabbed his jeans and yanked them down, knocking his legs out from under him. He shuddered, struggling to get his knees up under him. 

“Color?”

“Green!” Jeremy hissed, trying to crawl away.

Ryan yanked him back by the bindings on his wrist, causing his face to rub painfully over the carpet. He struggled against the grip and shifted his legs, trying to get free of his jeans which essentially trapped his ankles together. Ryan very unhelpfully assisted by shoving a knee between his thighs, forcing them further apart. He laid himself over Jeremy’s back again, barely reacting to his struggling and bit down on his shoulder. Jeremy’s back dipped and he moaned so loud he startled himself.

“Yeah, you like bites?” Ryan whispered in his ear, “You like me making my mark on you, little pervert? You gonna look at them while you jerk off later?”

Jeremy’s face flushed as a whimper choked its way out. 

“F-fuck!” Ryan hissed, “You fall out of a fucking porno? You’re so fucking slutty.”

Jeremy’s ass rocked backwards. Ryan lifted away from his ear to presumably get lube as a few seconds of movement later, Ryan pushed a cold wet finger inside him. Jeremy moaned as his whole body tried to open towards it. His thighs shook as they tried to open wider, his chest rubbed painfully as his lower back dipped further down to push his ass out. His cock leaked precum as he panted through the slight sting of penetration.

“Holy shit,” Ryan breathed, “I just threw you around the fucking room and now you’re opening up like a fucking flower you want it so bad.”

“Sh-shut up!” Jeremy protested weakly, face burning.

He jolted with a cry as Ryan added a second finger. God it fucking burned. It hurt, it really hurt. He could feel the beginning of a tear. He rocked his hips back.  _Put it in!_ Ryan appeared to hear his silent begging as he pulled his fingers away and Jeremy heard his belt unbuckling. He couldn’t see it though, he lamented, his own ass blocking the view of Ryan’s crotch. When the head of Ryan’s cock pressed into him he screamed. 

“F-fuck!” Ryan shouted back, “F-fucking color, Jeremy, color?”

“Green! Green!” Jeremy babbled, trying to rock back against him, “R-Ryan!!”

Ryan’s hips snapped forward and Jeremy saw white. His eyes rolled back as he shrieked. He was breathing harshly and sobbing uncontrollably. Ryan laid over him again, putting an arm around his middle.

“Y-you okay?” He panted.

“Mmffissmm.”

“Oh fuck,” Ryan muttered, “Shit, did I break you?”

“Mmf.”

“Jesus, Jeremy,” he mumbled.

He brushed a hand through Jeremy’s hair and pressed kisses along his shoulders, waiting for him to come back. Jeremy whined as he caught his breath and his eyes uncrossed. He became aware that he’d drenched the carpet below him with drool and blushed red. _Gross._

“O-okay, I’m o-okay,” he whispered, “G-Green. Go now, please!”

Ryan immediately did so, carefully pulling back halfway and pushing forward again until Jeremy was properly loose around him. Then he pulled back and began thrusting quicker, hips slapping hard against Jeremy’s ass. He pressed one hand between Jeremy’s shoulder blades to keep him steady and the other one went between his legs to jerk him off. 

“Fucking Christ, Jeremy,” he groaned, “How bad this has to hurt and you’re still fucking rock hard. I should’ve known you’d be a fucking freak. Should’ve known how fucking bad you’d want my cock. Always fuck-unh-f-fucking wiggling your slutty l-little ass at me!”

Jeremy’s blush came back in full force as he moaned.  _He’d noticed?!_

“I-I d-didn’t!” He lied breathlessly.

The hand left his cock to smack his ass. He yelped and rocked forward as though to rut against something.

“Masochist,” Ryan taunted, “You’re so fucking-!”

He cut off with a growling moan as Jeremy tightened around him. Jeremy threw a smug grin over his shoulder and Ryan’s eyes flashed dangerously as a predatory smile spread over his face.  Oh fuck.  Jeremy cried out as Ryan swooped down and bit him on the shoulder. He moaned and panted as Ryan bit hard up and down his neck and shoulders. His pace never faltered and Jeremy was pretty sure the man had to be a robot to succeed in three tasks at once. As Jeremy could feel his lower half tightening, Ryan pulled free the shirt holding Jeremy’s hands which immediately fell limp against the floor. 

“R-Ry! Ry I’m g-gonna-!” Jeremy sputtered, his body shaking.

“I know, go ahead, darling.”

Jeremy let out a strangled shout that could’ve been “Ryan” as he came. His body went lax, sagging against the floor. He whimpered as he felt Ryan cum inside him not too long afterwards. He thought maybe he said his name but he wasn’t sure.

“You alright, sleepy?” Ryan teased as he wiped up the mess.

“Amazing,” Jeremy whispered.

“Ah, shit, your voice,” Ryan pointed out, leaning over him, “You’ve lost it from shouting.”

Jeremy opened his eye to see Ryan’s concerned face looming over him.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he rasped.

Ryan’s smile lit up his whole face and Jeremy smiled back.

“Dude, I can’t move,” he pointed out, “And I am trying.”

He shifted one foot to demonstrate. Ryan chuckled and pulled away to gently slip the rest of his clothes off his ankles. He carefully tipped Jeremy sideways and got him into his arms.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he grunted as he carried him to his bed.

“Rude,” Jeremy scolded, though he was too tired to actually be mad.

“You okay with sleeping here?” Ryan asked as he laid him down, “I can take you to your room if you want.”

Jeremy shook his head and rolled over to make room.

“Cuddle me, you bastard,” he grumbled as he drifted off.

Ryan pulled the sheet over him with a smile. It disappeared as quickly as it’d come and he slumped to the floor.  _What the fuck am I doing?_


	2. Chapter 2

Jeremy knew the situation was only as awkward as he made it. He understood that he was the one being weird, but that didn’t stop it from happening. Ryan hadn’t cuddled him and it made him really mad and very depressed. When he woke up, Ryan was sitting next to the bed, in the same clothes, but now with a knife in his hand. He looked distant, so far away that no matter how hard Jeremy tried, he’d never be able to reach him.

He twirled the knife in his hand and flipped it with ease, almost like second nature. Jeremy supposed it must be at this point. How long had the guy been in the business? Probably longer than Jeremy had been alive. Most of Fake AH had been in the business from the womb or otherwise very early on. Or at least that’s what they all said. 

Honestly, Jeremy was still pretty new to the crew. No one really trusted him yet. Except Gavin, but that was because he’s an idiot. Ryan was the only other one who’d shown any amount of unprofessional trust in him and even then, he was sitting next to the bed with a knife in his hand, so Jeremy thought maybe trust wasn’t a part of this. He imagined affection or love was also not a part of this, considering they barely talked and they hadn’t kissed once. Not that he wanted to kiss him or whatever. It was just...he  _really_ wanted to kiss him. What did those pink lips feel like? 

“Penny for your thoughts,” he called out to him.

Ryan jolted in surprise, his hands immediately moving towards a defensive position. However, he fumbled the knife and hissed as the blade cut his hand. Jeremy went wide eyed in alarm and scrambled off the bed to look. Ryan grunted at him in protest as he grabbed his hand to inspect it.

“Jesus, Ryan!” He exclaimed, “What the fuck do you sharpen these blades with?!”

He leaned over under the bed and grabbed the first aid kit. 

“What the fuck?” Ryan grunted, “When the hell did that get put there?”

Jeremy looked up, startled.

“All...all the bedrooms have first aid kits,” he explained, flipping it open, “They’re all under the heads of the beds. Did...you not know this?”

Ryan shook his head as Jeremy wiped the cut and rubbed antibiotic on it.

“Oh, I thought everyone knew,” he muttered, “Maybe no one knows. Well, me and Gavin.”

He pulled out one of the larger band-aids.

“Gavin told you?” Ryan asked.

“No we found one,” Jeremy answered, sticking the bandaid on.

He put the kit back in its place and located the trashcan to throw away the trash. He then located his clothes and pulled on his boxers.

“How?”

Jeremy looked back at Ryan in confusion.

“How what?” He prompted.

“How did you find one?” Ryan clarified, “With Gavin.”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. Ryan looked weirdly guarded. Like he was feeling something he didn’t want Jeremy to know. 

“We were hanging out in his room,” Jeremy recalled, shrugging, “It wasn’t like an event or anything.”

He turned back to his clothes, pulling up his jeans.

“You hang out with Gavin?”

“Mmhm,” Jeremy confirmed, “He’s the only one that trusts me so far.”

He slipped on his socks and sighed at his shoes. They’d gotten pulled off while still tied. _Annoying._

“We trust you.”

Jeremy tugged at the knots.

“No, I mean like personally,” Jeremy dismissed, “Like trust me enough to go in their room, tell me their real name, actually talk to me about stuff, and hang out outside.”

He pulled on the freshly untied shoes.

“You hang out with Gavin in the city?”

Jeremy nodded, humming as he retied his shoes.

“Yeah, we do a lot together actually,” he admitted, “I think he likes going out with someone who’s his age, but isn’t Mogar.”

He shrugged, sitting back a bit.

“I mean, he loves him,” he muttered, “Hard to be with someone all the time when you’re in love with them and they don’t know.”

He sighed and dropped his chin to one knee. 

“Yeah...it’s pretty hard,” he murmured.

The sound of a knife thunking into a wall startled him from his thoughts. He looked around at Ryan whose face was still guarded. He looked over at the wall where the knife sank in.

“Uh, sorry, was I talking to much?” He muttered apologetically.

“No.”

“Ah, shit,” Jeremy realized, “I shouldn’t have told you the thing about Gavin and Mogar. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

Ryan locked eyes with him and raised an eyebrow.

“Right, I guess that’s your speciality,” Jeremy laughed, “Hey, uh, can I borrow a shirt? You ripped mine to shreds.”

Ryan pulled off the one he was wearing and tossed it to him. Jeremy was a little disappointed. This one would probably smell more like him than Ryan. But he didn’t say anything, just pulled it on and stretched his back as he stood up.

“I’m starving,” he announced, “So I’m gonna fuck off. See ya later, V.”

“See ya, Rimmy.”

Jeremy put his fist through a wall as soon as Ryan’s door was closed behind him. 

“Tough night?” Jack asked, leaning casually.

Jeremy looked at her and she winced.

“Jeez. Come on, kid,” she said, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder, “Let’s go get some ice cream.”

~

“Okay, Rimmy, I paid, now your turn,” Jack demanded, “Tell me what’s up with Vagabond.”

Jeremy hid behind his milkshake, sipping and not looking at her.

“Rimmy,” she warned, “I will put a grenade in that milkshake.”

“Jeremy.”

She raised her eyebrows at him.

“Okay, Jeremy,” she corrected, “What’s going on?”

“We had sex last night,” Jeremy answered.

“Mazel,” she replied dryly, “I’m guessing the sex wasn’t the problem.”

“No, it was good,” he assured her, eyes going a bit unfocused, “Like really fucking good.”

“Mazel,” she repeated, “Tell me what the problem is.”

“He, uh...didn’t want to cuddle afterwards,” he admitted sheepishly, “I know it-“

“Really?” Jack interrupted, sitting up, “You didn’t sleep together?”

“Um, no,” he muttered, “He put me in his bed. Then he, um, sat next to it.”

“Sat _next_ to the bed?” She demanded, eyes wide.

“Yes? He was playing with a knife,” he continued, shifting nervously, “Then he accidentally cut himself.”

“With his own knife?!” She exclaimed.

He shrank a bit from her surprise.

“Um, yeah?” He mumbled, “I startled him and he cut his hand.”

“Holy shit.”

She sat back, staring far over Jeremy’s head. 

“That’s interesting,” she muttered, bringing her coffee to her lips, “Ry neglecting aftercare and being distracted enough to cut himself? Jesus, Jeremy, you fucked him up.”

Jeremy winced, ducking his head. 

“Oh.”

“I don’t mean in a bad way, kid,” Jack assured him, “I just mean he must be conflicted about the situation. Ry’s got a lot going on in his thick skull.”

”I guess we all do,” Jeremy muttered with a sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeremy could feel that Ryan’s blue eyes were staring holes through him. He did his best to ignore him. They had a job, Jeremy was doing his job. What was he so pissed about anyway? Jeremy gave up a long time ago trying to figure out what the fuck the guy was thinking. Whatever. Meeting was over anyway.

“Well, thanks for hearing us out,” Jeremy said, smiled warmly, “You have our number, don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions, our operator can answer pretty much everything.”

Markson-or Joey, as he kept telling Jeremy to call him-returned the smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could give me your number,” he asked, “So I can talk to you directly.”

“Sure, no problem,” Jeremy assured, “Then you can just text me if you have any questions or concerns.”

Markson brightened as Jeremy relayed his work number and they shook hands before Jeremy slipped into the car. Ryan had a death grip on the steering wheel and Jeremy shrank a bit into the door. They didn’t speak as he drove them home or as they entered the house. 

Jeremy wondered if maybe he needed another angry bang, but was too scared to actually ask. Not because he thought Ryan might get violent, but because he was always so fucking nervous around him. He didn’t want to lose what little he had going with him. But it’d been two weeks since the first one and he was absolutely itching for it himself. He didn’t want to seem needy or clingy, but Jesus did he want to fuck.

Jeremy headed to the gym once they got inside. Better to try and work off some energy rather than sit alone in his room and sadly masturbate. Or at least _before_ he sat in his room and sadly masturbated. He changed into his gym clothes and stretched out a bit. He was glad they had a gym, but he did wish it was a little better equipped. He’d kill for a climbing wall. They did have some good equipment, but he wished they had more in the gymnastics department. They had a few smaller bars, but they were hardly a challenge at this point. 

He sighed and leapt up on the tallest bar. He did a few chin-ups to warm up then hung off the bar by his knees to do some pull-ups. He crossed his arms over his chest and focused on the movement.

_ Up. _

He looked at the gym door.

_ Down. _

He looked at the far wall.

_Door. Wall. Door. Wall. Door. Ryan._

“Jesus fucking Christ, V!” He shouted, clutching his heart, “Fucking horror movie villain bullshit! Scared the shit out of me!”

He puffed out some breaths, trying to slow his heart rate.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked casually, as though he hadn’t made Jeremy just shit himself.

“Pretending to be a bat,” Jeremy quipped dryly, “I’m working out.”

“Okay.”

Jeremy stared at him and he stared back before Jeremy just rolled his eyes. He pulled himself up and sat on the bar, rolling his shoulde rs a moment. He breathed in deeply through his nose and closed his eyes.

_Take in your surroundings. Feel the room._

The air conditioner let out air in a soft sort of whistle. The fridge in the corner hummed with life. His breathing through his nose was steady and deep.

_For us, we must stay calm. In this life we live, this work, if you lose your calm, you could lose your life._

”If you lose your calm, you could lose your life.”

He breathed out the words before dropping. He grabbed the next bar down and swung, grabbing the last with his legs and spinning upright. He twisted and stood, falling forward to grab the middle bar and swing himself back to the top bar, which he hooked his ankles around. He lost no momentum, twisting as he spun up to the top of the bar, one knee above, one below. He dropped, hanging by the one knee, but stopped suddenly realizing that Ryan hadn’t left. His eyes popped open and he blushed fifty shades of scarlet.

“D-did you w-watch all of that?!” He demanded, covering his face.

“I thought you wanted me to.”

Jeremy dropped his hands, waving a bit frantically.

“Why would I want you to watch??” He shouted, “That’s so embarrassing!”

“Well, I didn’t say I was leaving,” Ryan pointed out, “Then you started moving, so I thought you wanted me to watch.”

Jeremy covered his face again.

“N-no! I just thought you’d leave!” He cried miserably.

“Why would I leave?” Ryan mused, “When you’re showing off how flexible you are?”

Jeremy moved his hands to fire back a snarky comment but found himself staring directly at Ryan’s crotch. He jumped in surprise and flushed. _Damn,_ his dick was at a perfect height. He felt a bit woozy. He was upside down too long. He dropped into a handstand and carefully dropped his feet to the mat, not wanting to accidentally hit Ryan. He groaned and rubbed his head as he sat up. 

“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked, suddenly in his ear.

Jeremy almost elbowed him in the nose on instinct.

“You’re a fucking ninja,” he hissed, “ _And_ I was hanging upside down too long.”

“Well, tell me when you’re done being a baby,” Ryan muttered, “I wanna fuck you into this mat.”

Jeremy let out a gasp as his whole body flushed. Ryan’s lips were touching his ear.

“You seem recovered to me,” he whispered, sending sparks through Jeremy, “And _very_ willing.”

Jeremy burned in embarrassment, trying to close his legs to hide his obvious boner. Ryan pressed closer to him and Jeremy could feel his boner poking him in the back. Jeremy shivered. Ryan was hard because of him. He ran a hand over his side and down to his trembling thigh.

“Look at you, acting so shy,” he cooed, “Despite what a filthy slut you are. You’re so fucking adorable.”

Jeremy shuddered, panting as Ryan’s other hand tugged his shirt out of his pants and ran up his torso. Ryan gripped his thigh tightly.

“So shy, so timid,” he muttered, “But if I say open your legs-“

Jeremy’s legs fell open and he covered his face in embarrassment. 

“Fuck!” Ryan hissed in his ear, “It’s like you were made in a porno. So slutty, so fucking cute, and your body is made to be fucked.”

His hand moved down to cup Jeremy’s crotch. 

“I can’t decide,” he growled, “If I like shy Jeremy or aggressive Jeremy more. Maybe I should make you beg for my cock while you try to fight me off.”

Ryan suddenly shoved him forward and Jeremy rolled with the motion, ending up exactly how Ryan wanted him: on all fours. Jeremy moaned, his arms wobbling as he struggled to keep himself up. Ryan yanked down his pants and Jeremy lost his fight to stay up. He dropped to his chest, his back dipping to present his ass. 

“R-Ry! Please!” He whimpered, “I-it’s been so l-long, please! Please I n-need you!”

Ryan pressed a lubed finger inside him and it sank down all the way easily. He added a second with only a little more resistance than the first.

“Jesus, you’ve really been aching for it, haven’t you?” Ryan groaned, “Is that why you were flirting with that fucking asshole?”

He shoved a third finger in without warning and Jeremy whined, the burn bringing tears to his eyes. Ryan leaned over him, lips against his ear.

“Answer me, slut,” he hissed, “You flirt with him to provoke me?”

Jeremy’s brain was fuzzy. Flirting? Had he been flirting with someone? Ryan’s hand was jerking forcefully in him. He was growling in his ear and his hips kept jutting forward. Whatever he thought Jeremy did was making him _really_ aggressive.

“Yes!” Jeremy lied in a near-sob.

“I fucking knew it,” Ryan grunted, hand jerking forward hard, “You little fucking whore. You want it so fucking bad, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes! Please! R-Ryan!” Jeremy cried. 

Ryan moved, taking out his fingers and shoving into him. Jeremy let out a miserable whine, his hands clawing on the mat. Ryan was shaking above him, hands dropping next to his head.

“C-Color?” He grunted.

Jeremy tightened around him.

“Fucking bitch,” Ryan hissed, “I w-want to fucking de-destroy you.”

“Green, Ryan! Green!” Jeremy gasped, pushing back.

Ryan rocked against him and bit his shoulder, hard. Jeremy groaned, eyes rolling back as Ryan fucked in to him. He scrambled to get his hand between his legs and panted harshly as he jerked himself off. Ryan was grunting something into his skin that he couldn’t hear and he bit him again. Jeremy moaned as his body tightened and jerked, splattering jizz on the mat under him. Ryan groaned and whispered out his name as he came a few seconds later. He put his arm around Jeremy’s middle and kissed over the harsh bites.

“You with me?” He asked.

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy mumbled, “I’m here.”

“You okay?”

“Yes.”

Ryan made an annoyed sound and moved back to clean them up. Jeremy was utterly and completely embarrassed by their choice in location. As he got back on his feet, he winced at the wad of tissues Ryan tossed in the trash. He covered his face.

“Jesus Christ, kill me,” he muttered.

He jolted as Ryan patted his ass.

“Nah, waste of a cute ass,” he deadpanned.

Jeremy glared at him, shoving him away. 

“Asshole,” He grunted.

“That’s nice too.”

He laughed as Jeremy punched him in the arm. Jeremy couldn’t actually be mad when his face was lit up with joy like that. _Speaking of emotions..._

“Hey, uh, I need to say something,” he muttered nervously.

Ryan’s face dropped into guarded mode.

“Th-the thing y-you were saying,” Jeremy muttered, “A-about flirting. I...have no idea what you were talking about. I, um, I lied when I said I did it to provoke you.”

Ryan narrowed his eyes.

“The contact,” he explained, “Marks? The two of you were flirting like teenagers.”

Jeremy squinted back at him.

“Markson?” He clarified, “We weren’t flirting. I was just trying to make the meeting go smoothly.”

“You gave him your number,” Ryan pointed out.

“My _work_ number,” Jeremy countered, crossing his arms, “I don’t flirt with contacts. I only ever flirt with marks or people I’m comfortable with.”

He was pissed Ryan would even suggest it. Ryan stepped closer to him, but Jeremy refused to back away. 

“That’s a really rude thing to say, V!” He snapped, “I’m a professional.”

“And a fucking idiot,” Ryan sneered in his face, “That guy was all over you. He wanted your number so he could fuck you, dumbass.”

Jeremy scowled.

“Just because someone _wants_ something,” he snarled tightly, “Doesn’t mean they _get_ it.”

They stared each other down a moment, glaring viciously, neither intending to back down. Their staring contest was broken by the gym door opening. They turned towards Gavin who was waving bouncily at them.

“Family meeting!” He called.

Jeremy’s anger melted and he smiled softly. _Family._ Ryan stormed away from him and Jeremy sighed. He rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. At least Ryan’s body looked less tense. Though he still seemed furious.

Ryan tried to control his breathing as he death-glared Gavin on the way to the conference room. Jeremy was always so damn happy when he saw him. It never seemed to matter what happened, if Gavin showed up, he’d suddenly brighten like the fucking sun. _Why the fuck does he love him? What does he have?? Tell me so I can cut it off him._ Ryan frowned at himself. He was being possessive again. He rubbed his hands over his face. _What am I doing??_


	4. Chapter 4

Jeremy rubbed his eye as he walked down the hall. It was still a bit irritated from the rock to the face. Fucking dickbag actually picked up a rock and threw it at him. At least the mission was a success.

“Jeremy.”

Jeremy jumped in surprise at the sudden closeness of Ryan’s voice. 

“Fuck, dude,” he wheezed, “Scared the shit out of me. What’s up?”

He gestured for him to follow and Jeremy shrugged as he did. He lead him to the garage and past several vehicles before Jeremy got distracted. He rushed ahead of Ryan to bounce in front of the new bike.

“It’s so pretty!” He exclaimed, running fingers over the throttle, “V, when did you get a J6?”

He walked around it, trailing his fingertips over the purple paint job. 

“Picked it up today.”

Jeremy hummed, tracing over the body as he moved along the side.

“Such a beauty,” he muttered, “They’re great all-“

He shot up straight as Ryan groped his ass and blushed cherry red. 

“Wh-What are you-?” He sputtered, starting to turn around.

“Move.”

Jeremy stepped aside and watched Ryan get onto the bike. Wow he looked good with a bike between his legs. As always. He pulled his mask off and tucked it away before starting the bike. He looked expectantly at Jeremy.

“Are you going to get on?” He asked dryly.

“Depends, are you planning on getting off?” Jeremy quipped, grinning.

He hopped on and held onto Ryan’s waist as he zipped away. A giggle rose up in his throat as they sped down the road and burst its way through when they attracted a cop. He pulled his gun, firing at tires while cackling madly. They lost the cops easily and he scoffed as he put his gun away. _Cops in this town suck._

Feeling giddy, he pressed closer to Ryan, running his hand up his torso. He pressed his face up against the back of his head, lips nearly touching his ear. He heard Ryan’s breathing hitch and Jeremy couldn’t keep his hands off him.

“Come on, baby,” He whispered, “You can go faster than that, can’t you?”

He bit down on Ryan’s neck, his hands roaming over his torso and down his thighs. Ryan was breathing harder and his neck tilted to give Jeremy more room. Jeremy groped his half hard cock and he hissed. 

“Is this for me, baby?” Jeremy groaned, “You want to give this to me?”

Ryan gasped and his cock pulsed under Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy shuddered and moaned. The adrenaline was really kicking in and his pants were way too tight. 

“Fuck, Ry, please give it to me,” he moaned, “F-fuck, I-I need it so bad! Ryan, please! I n-need you to g-give to me, please!”

“Fuck!” Ryan hissed.

They slowed down and swerved into an alley, stopping so quick Jeremy thought his neck might snap. He jumped off the bike and grabbed at Ryan’s jacket as he scrambled to follow him off. Ryan shoved him against the brick wall, diving down to bite over the still healing ones from last week. He yanked at Jeremy’s belt and jeans while Jeremy did the same with his. Jeremy shivered as his pants finally fell.

“Are you cold?” Ryan asked, reaching into one of his pockets.

“N-no, I-I just...it-it’s so public here,” he muttered, face red.

“Color?”

Jeremy glanced away, towards the entrance of the alleyway and felt a pulse go through him. 

“Y-Yes!” He insisted, “I-I mean, um, g-green.”

Ryan chuckled as he reached around him. A lubed finger pressed inside him with almost no resistance and he shuddered.

“Jeremy, do you want to get caught?” Ryan teased in his ear.

“Wh-What?! N-no!” Jeremy protested.

“Liar.”

Jeremy’s body trembled, sparks of electricity zapping up his spine. The finger moving in and out of his ass only seemed to make it worse.

“You want someone to find us,” Ryan taunted, “You want someone to see what a fucking dirty, needy little whore you are.”

Jeremy was panting, his hips rocking back and forth between Ryan’s own hips and his fingers. He tried to focus on the fingering (when had one become two??), but his mind was whirling with the idea of someone seeing.

“You want someone to see,” Ryan groaned, “You want others to see who fucking owns your ass, don’t you?”

Jeremy gasped and moaned.

“Yeah, you like when-when I say I own you?” Ryan grunted, “You want me to f-fucking remind you who-whose bitch you are?”

Jeremy moaned, his body jolting with electricity.  _Own. He owns me._

“F-fuck,” Ryan hissed, “I bet y-you’d fucking love someone seeing you fucking moaning and b-begging for my cock, wouldn’t you?”

Jeremy whined as Ryan added a third finger and bit down on his neck. 

“Come on, bitch,” Ryan growled in his ear, “Tell me who owns your ass.”

“Y-you do!” Jeremy moaned, “Y-you own my a-ass! R-Ry, please, pl-please I-I’m r-ready!”

Jeremy grunted as Ryan spread his fingers, stretching more and biting across his jaw. Then he whined as the fingers left him. And stumbled as Ryan spun him around. He tried to spread his legs as well as he could. His knees buckled as Ryan entered him and he would’ve fallen if not for Ryan’s arms looped around him. A whine tore out of him at the pain and tears sprang to his eyes. 

“Turn your head,” Ryan ordered in a strained voice.

Jeremy did so, looking over his shoulder at Ryan who shuddered and jerked forward. Jeremy’s tears fell and he let out a choked cry.

“F-fuck!” Ryan groaned, “Fuck! Every time I see you fucking crying it gets me so f-fucking hard. I want to fucking _ruin_ your pretty fa-face.”

Jeremy sobbed out a wavering moan followed by a high pitched whine as Ryan pushed forward again. 

“C-Color?”

“Y-Yellow,” Jeremy sobbed.

“Okay, I’ve g-got you,” Ryan muttered, brushing a hand through his hair.

He pressed kisses up Jeremy’s jaw, cheek, and ear, whispering reassurances. Jeremy whimpered through the stinging, taking deep breaths to relax himself. 

“There you go,” Ryan mumbled, “Good boy, nice and relaxed for me.”

Jeremy moaned, his back dipping and his ass pushing back. Ryan let out a soft moan followed by a string of curses, one of his palms landing against the brick.

“Green!” Jeremy cried, rocking back, “Ry! F-fuck me! Pl-please!”

Ryan groaned and thrust twice. On the third thrust the angle was slightly different and Jeremy saw stars.

“RY!” 

Ryan jumped, startled by the sudden cry.

“Do that again!” Jeremy shouted.

Ryan thrust again and Jeremy screamed, his whole body jerking.

“Here?”

Ryan gave several shorter thrusts and Jeremy’s moans turned into shrieks. He picked up his pace and Jeremy sobbed out shrieks of pleasure as his prostate was abused. He blacked out a brief second when he came, screaming Ryan’s name. He hazily registered Ryan’s release and let out a soft moan. 

“You with me?” Ryan panted.

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy croaked.

“Goddamnit, your voice,” Ryan muttered breathlessly, _“Again.”_

Jeremy grinned, turning back over his shoulder. 

“I like it,” he rasped, “Like vocal hickeys.”

Ryan rolled his eyes at him, but laughed. The bassy tone of it felt like a calming little river, flowing gently through him. He had a bizarre, fleeting thought that it was better than anything else he’d felt that night. 

Ryan was silently cleaning him again. He was careful not to jostle around too much or let go of him while he was still struggling to stay standing up. It took a few minutes, but eventually Jeremy had his legs under him again and was breathing normally. Ryan stayed pressed to his side, running his hand through his hair and holding him around the small of his back. 

He kept pressing sweet little kisses all over his jaw and neck. Jeremy needed the physical contact, but he hated the kisses. They were so gentle, almost loving and it burned him up to be treated such a way when it felt like the feelings weren’t actually there. 

Eventually they took off, still silent as they rode home. Jeremy rubbed at his eye again as they pulled into the garage. Damn, he needed to wash it out or something. Before he could head off, Ryan stopped him and pressed the motorcycle keys into his hand. 

Jeremy squinted at him in confusion. What did he need the keys for? They were already inside. He looked at the bike and gears in his head started turning. _Purple._ It was a vivid purple. It was _Rimmy Tim_ purple. Ryan bought him a bike.

“Wait, for real?” He asked, eyes going wide, “You got it for me?!”

A tiny smile appeared on Ryan’s lips as he nodded. Jeremy bounced up on the balls of his feet and launched himself at Ryan. 

“I can’t believe you got me a bike!” He cried.

He was hugging him around the neck tearfully and Ryan gently wrapped his arms around him. Jeremy went red as he realized Ryan was hugging him. He was hugging him.  _Hugging?!_ He bounced up and down, grinning up at the taller man.

“You’re the best!” He giggled, “I like you the most! Thank you for the bike!”

His chest was warm and tight as Ryan smiled down at him. Before he could stop himself, he stretched up and pulled Ryan down by the neck to kiss him. He was so giddy he didn’t even notice that Ryan was guarding his face again when he pulled away. He rubbed his eye again with a wince.

“Fuck, I gotta go rinse my eye out,” he muttered, “But thank you! Really! I love it!”

He bounced off towards their eye wash station. He missed Ryan turning and punching a solid dent into the van next to the bike. Ryan ran a hand down his face, smearing grease paint. Jeremy wasn’t meant to like the gift that much. In fact he’d been trying to upset him. He’d hoped that Jeremy would think he was being bought and get mad. He wanted to make him feel like a hooker not a fucking _boyfriend._

He dented the van again. Why was this kid so much like a damn puppy?! Ryan was fucking trying to push him away, but all he did was bounce back, happier than ever. Ryan touched his lips. _I’m... smiling?_ If he closed his eyes, he could still feel Jeremy’s warmth in his arms. His head slumped against the van. _What am I doing?!_

~

“V got it for me!” Jeremy answered excitedly.

Across the way, Ryan threw a sharp look at him, but he ignored it in favor of watching Mogar. He leaned over the bike, brushing his fingers over it.

“Damn, it’s pretty,” he muttered, looking over at Jeremy, “I guess this means it’s official now.”

Jeremy’s face went red. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, anxiety twisting in his guts.

Mogar stood up straight and clapped a hand against his back.

“Welcome to Fake AH, Rimmy!” He greeted, grinning wickedly, “Now that you’ve got a vehicle in the crew garage, you’re totally official.”

Jeremy’s heart lifted up from his chest and he bounced on his feet again.

“Really?” He pressed.

“Really,” Mogar confirmed, “And now you should call me Michael.”

Jeremy launched himself at Michael, grinning through tears as he squeezed him in a tight hug.

“I-I’m Jeremy!” He cried, burying his face in Michael’s shoulder, “It’s really great to meet you, Michael! I’m so happy!”

“Jeez, man,” Michael teased, “Like an oversized puppy.”

Jeremy pulled away, bouncing again.

“I know everyone’s names now!” He shouted happily, “This is the best day ever! You should ride with me!”

“We have a job, dumbass,” Michael pointed out, “Maybe later though.”

“It’s a date,” Jeremy laughed, “Thank you!”

“Don’t thanking me,” Michael mumbled, “I didn’t get the damn bike.”

Jeremy just grabbed him in another hug before hopping on the bike.

“Best day everrr!” He sang as he zipped from the building.

Michael shook his head, smiling.  _What a dork._ He turned to get in his own vehicle only to find Ryan standing there, looming over him. He was in full ominous mode and Michael shrank a bit from his icy gaze. 

“S-Sup, Ry?” He muttered, trying to sound casual, “You startled me.”

“Why did you tell him your name?”

Michael scowled in confusion.

“Because I should’ve already done so?” He answered, “It’s been plenty of time. We should’ve trusted him awhile ago.”

“We do trust him.”

“You know what I meant, Ry!” Michael snapped, “We’re fucking treating him-“

He paused, confusion coming back over his face.

”Why did _you_ tell him your name?” He asked, squinting at him.

”I didn’t,” Ryan lied, “Gavin slipped up.”

Michael continued squinting at him suspiciously like he really didn’t buy it, but eventually just shook his head.

”Whatever, man,” he muttered, “Point is: we keep treating him like an outsider. He’s one of us and he’s not Ray. Get the fuck over yourself and stop treating him like a fucking spy or whatever the fuck it is you think he is.”

Michael sidestepped him and went to his own vehicle. Ryan scowled. Was that what he was doing? Treating him like an outsider? He looked at the dents he’d punched into the van. He didn’t know. He had no idea what he was treating him like.

What he did know was that it wasn’t trust that had upset him. It was the way Jeremy hugged Michael, how excited he was to learn his name. The joking flirt.

_It’s a date!_

Ryan punched another dent into the van. _Jealousy. How juvenile._


	5. Chapter 5

“Don’t fucking touch him!” Jeremy snarled, “Or you’re going to regret it.”

He smacked the guy’s hand away from Gavin. The guy was trying to insist so Jeremy kicked him straight in the nuts and shoved him away. _Asshole_ _._ Gavin squeaked a little from behind him and Jeremy turned to hug him.

“You alright, buddy?” He muttered quietly.

“H-he just startled me,” he whimpered, “I’m really okay.”

“Let’s go home, yeah?” Jeremy suggested.

Gavin nodded against his shoulder and they left the place without him letting go of Jeremy. The ride home appeared to be relaxing him though, as he was basically laying over Jeremy’s back by the time they got there. Jeremy tried to jostle him awake, but ended up having to carry the man to his room. He pulled off his shoes and his jacket but thought better of trying to peel his skinny jeans off of him. He was not into accidentally seeing Gavin’s dick. _Again._

He was still pissed off about that fuckbag, so he decided to burn off some energy with his “flippy shit” as Gavin called it. He wished Gavin didn’t like going to the club so much. He was a magnet for perverts. It wasn’t hard to see why. Cute, skinny, tanned, and pretty eyes. He was attractive and bubbly, oozing friendliness and warmth. Gavin was usually pretty good about it. He was AH, after all. He could kick, charm, or confuse their asses easily. Sometimes though, he needed Jeremy to step in and Jeremy hated it.

Not the protecting Gavin part, the part that he _needed_ protection. It meant he felt vulnerable. Jeremy didn’t like when any of the crew felt scared or vulnerable. They were all such amazing people, they didn’t deserve to ever feel weak. Jeremy landed with his feet on the top bar and paused. _Is it that I don’t want them to feel weak or that **I** don’t want to feel weak?_

He grunted and bent over to grab the bar, one leg sweeping up behind him, then the other as he got a firm grip on the bar. He closed his eyes and puffed out some calming breaths as he lifted and lowered himself. 

_Take in your surroundings. Feel the room._

The artificial air. The hum of the fridge. His breathing.

_You must see the room without your eyes._

Jeremy’s legs fell towards the middle bar and he balanced on toes and fingertips, stretching to reach.

_We are living danger every second._

Jeremy pushed off his fingertips, dropping his feet and hooking his ankles around the middle bar. He swung, reaching for the bottom bar.

_For this reason, you must always be aware of your surroundings._

Jeremy gripped the bar and launched himself into the air, back-flipping and landing on his feet. 

_If you lose your calm, you could lose your life._

He sighed.

“How long you been there, V?” He called.

“Not long.”

Jeremy rolled his shoulders and opened his eyes. He wasn’t even sure when he noticed he was there. He traipsed over to his locker. Ryan was leaning nearby on his own, but Jeremy realized he’d never actually seen him use it. He shrugged it off and pulled out his clothes. He started taking off his sweaty gym clothes and got as far as yanking the shirt over his head before Ryan approached. 

“Are you in the mood to fight?” He asked, tone low.

“Yes.”

“Would you like to wait until you’re fully dressed?”

“If you don’t mind waiting a bit.”

Ryan hummed and Jeremy pulled his clothes on, tossing the gym clothes in the laundry basket. Then he turned and made a run for it. Ryan was hot on his heels, easily as fast as him or more with his long legs. Jeremy tried to slam the gym door in his face, but Ryan blocked it. It did give him enough of a pause to rocket down the hall, but again, Ryan easily caught up with him. 

One gloved hand slapped over his mouth and the other arm squeezed his middle. He lifted Jeremy who flailed. His index finger and thumb pinched his nose to stop his struggling and he carried Jeremy into his room. He tossed him inside like a fucking sack of flour and Jeremy gasped in a grateful breath of air as he heard the door close and lock behind him. 

He flipped on his back to face Ryan who started forward at a very menacing and slow pace. Jeremy scrambled backwards, his automatic panic response winning out over a more logical approach like getting to his feet or rolling away. Ryan was cornering him and his body was panicking between flight, fight, and _fuck._ Ryan bent forward over him and he stared at him with wide eyes.

“Color?”

“Green.”

“You look terrified, Jeremy,” Ryan pointed out, gripping his chin, “But let me guess-“

His other hand grabbed Jeremy’s erection and Jeremy gasped.

“Still hard for me,” Ryan finished, grinning, “What a filthy one you are. Are you even going to try to run again?”

He stood and stepped aside, clearing a path to the door.

“Go ahead,” he offered, gesturing, “See how far you can make it.”

Jeremy’s eyes darted between Ryan and the door. He wouldn’t make it a single step unless Ryan was slowed down somehow. He pulled himself up to a crouch and tensed as though he might run. Ryan was grinning at him like a predator amused by his prey. _Oh, I’m going to wipe that smirk right off your face._

As he lifted a bit more, his foot shot out towards Ryan, taking him by surprise and sweeping his legs. Jeremy launched, off-balanced, towards the door as Ryan fell with a grunt. He stumbled and just as he thought he was close enough to grab the doorknob, Ryan’s hand clamped down on his ankle, yanking him backwards. He huffed out a pained breath as he landed on the floor. 

Ryan grabbed one of his arms and twisted it behind his back and he hissed, throwing back the other elbow. Ryan caught it easily and gripped both of his wrists in one hand. He laid over Jeremy, rubbing his boner against his ass. He groaned in Jeremy’s ear and it sent a wave of arousal through him.

“How many days has it been?” He huffed.

“17,” Jeremy blurted, his face going red as he realized he’d kept track.

“Way too long,” Ryan growled.

“What are you a teenager??” Jeremy quipped, ignoring just how bad _he_ wanted it.

Ryan did not like that joke apparently as he pushed off him to slap his ass hard. Jeremy grunted and moaned. He pulled him to his feet by his wrists, careful not damage his shoulders at the awkward angle. He shoved him onto his bed, which Jeremy immediately tried to crawl over, but Ryan sat on his ass to hinder his progress.

“Fuckin giant asshole,” he grunted.

“Jeremy.”

Jeremy froze in his squirming as something fell in front of his face. _Rope. Silk rope. Pink for some reason_. His body jerked forward into the bed and he moaned so loud he thought for sure the soundproof couldn’t hold it back.

“Is that a green?” Ryan laughed.

“God yes, fuck,” Jeremy groaned, “Please!”

Ryan slid down to undo his jeans and Jeremy tried to wiggle out of them to hurry the process along. He reached out and touched the soft magenta fibers as Ryan pulled his clothes off of him. He was so distracted by the rope he wasn’t even fighting any more. Ryan tugged him upwards to pull off his shirt, breaking his stare away from the rope. Ryan’s hands ran down his naked body and he pressed his lips to Jeremy’s ear.

“The way you l-look transfixed by the rope is f-fucking sexy,” he growled, “Like you can’t wait to feel it on your sk-skin. Like you can’t wait to be bound, stuck, _made_ to take what I give you.”

Jeremy moaned, his ass pushing backwards towards Ryan. Ryan twisted him and shoved him face down on the bed. Jeremy shuddered as Ryan moved him where he wanted him, manhandled his legs and arms into the position he wanted Jeremy. Tied up, ass in the air, and trembling as he strained against the ropes, Jeremy was all Ryan’s for the taking. 

He blushed with embarrassment over being tied up and naked as Ryan was fully clothed, fully in control. He blushed even worse at how fucking _hard_ he was for it. He looked over his shoulder to see what was taking so long and found Ryan’s eyes roaming over his body. _Hungry._ Jeremy shuddered and bit his lip so hard he thought he tasted blood. 

“R-Ry?” He called tearfully.

Ryan looked up at him and hissed out a curse. 

“Fuck you look so beautiful,” he groaned, “Tied up here, teary-eyed, and trembling.”

Jeremy hid his face in his tied arms, face burning with embarrassment. 

“Will you pl-please fuck me already?!” He whined miserably.

“So impatient,” Ryan laughed.

He slipped two lubed fingers inside Jeremy with barely any resistance, Jeremy dipping to push his ass out further. 

“Jesus, you’re always so ready,” Ryan grunted as he added the third, “What a loose little whore.”

Jeremy moaned, rocking backwards. 

“Fuck!” Ryan groaned, “I-I can’t wait any more!”

He pulled his fingers out and Jeremy peeked over his shoulder as he pulled his shirt off. Jeremy’s eyes immediately roamed all over him, tracing scars and noticing something he hadn’t even considered: Ryan didn’t have nipples. There were just two scars where they should be. 

Jeremy got distracted from his sudden urge to taste scar tissue when Ryan pushed into him, sliding easily in one go. Jeremy gasped, his knuckles going white as he gripped the rope in his hands. He pushed himself up slightly to look between his legs.  He was all the way in. _I really am loose,_ Jeremy noted, an obscene moan shoving out of him. He shoved backwards and Ryan grunted, grabbing Jeremy’s shoulder to stop himself from falling over.

“Jesus, Jeremy,” he muttered, “Please t-tell me I c-can move!”

“Yes!! Yes please! Please Ryan please fuck me!” He cried.

Ryan hissed out a string of curses and immediately started up a brutal pace. Jeremy held the rope taut as he moaned and begged Ryan to go faster and harder. Ryan shifted to lean over him and grab a fistful of his hair.

“You’re such a fucking whore,” Ryan moaned, rough with need, “Moaning and crying, wh-whole body fucking begging f-for my cock.”

His thrusting faltered as he bent to bite harsh bruises across Jeremy’s shoulders and up his neck. Jeremy tugged at the rope, crying out in pain as Ryan broke skin. 

“No one else gets to have you,” Ryan snarled in his ear, jerking his hips up, “You’re fucking m-mine. I’m going to fucking _cover_ you in bruises so you and everyone who sees you n-never forget who you belong to.”

Jeremy moaned, pushing back against Ryan’s sharp thrusts. He whimpered, his body jerking as Ryan yanked harder on his hair.

“You’re never going to forget me,” He hissed, “I’m never going to let you go, your whore ass is my fucking possession now. It’s fucking _mine.”_

Jeremy let out a shriek as he came, spilling onto Ryan’s sheets and yanking backwards. He jumped in surprise as the bedpost he was tied to snapped. He immediately released his fists, staring widely at the bedpost in splinters. Ryan grunted, his hands coming down on either side of Jeremy’s shoulders. He pressed his face between Jeremy’s shoulder blades and sighed out curses. He was trembling a bit, Jeremy noticed, but seemed to have not yet noticed the bedpost was destroyed.

“Ry, I-“

“Sorry, I got it,” he muttered.

He shifted, reaching down to untie Jeremy’s ankles.

“No, Ry, th-the bedpost,” Jeremy sputtered.

Ryan looked up at the broken post.

“Holy shit.”

Jeremy covered his burning face with his still tied hands. Ryan laughed, leaning over him to untie his wrists. Jeremy buried his face in the sheets to give him access to the knots.

“Wow, that’s new,” he laughed, “Ray never-“

The two of them froze in place. Jeremy’s spine stiffened.  _Ray. Magenta ropes. These were... bought for Ray._ Jeremy felt sick. Ryan untied the ropes quickly and now free, Jeremy wiggled away, sliding to the foot of the bed. He didn’t give two shits that he was trailing Ryan’s cum after him. He pulled on his boxers and jeans, forcing his shaking hands to steady enough to pull the rest of his clothes on. 

“Jeremy,” Ryan started quietly, “I...I didn’t-”

“Poor taste,” Jeremy muttered, interrupting, “Comparing your bitch to your ex.”

He flashed a grin over his shoulder.

“Bad manners, V,” he teased.

He finished tying his shoe and stood, stretching casually. He rubbed his lower back and grunted. 

“I think I gotta get some supplies,” he muttered off-handedly, “I’ll see ya later, V.”

He smiled at Ryan’s guarded expression and left the room. As soon as the door was closed he sprinted to the garage and hopped on the bike. He scrubbed at his tears, fumbling a bit with the keys. 

“Jeremy?” Jack called to him.

He turned towards her voice and she winced. He turned on the bike and she moved forward as if to stop him, but he sped away before she could get one step closer. He rode nearly completely blinded by tears.

Ryan stared at his door. Fuck. That was fucked up, even for him. He shouldn’t have said that. He hadn’t thought, it’d just come out. He covered his face. 

Bitch, Jeremy had called himself. That’s what Ryan kept calling him, wasn’t it? Kept treating him like he wasn’t a person, but a toy. Jeremy seemed perfectly content to take on the role Ryan had assigned him. _So why do **I** hate it? _


	6. Chapter 6

“Watch it, midget,” the guy grumbled, shoving past.

Jeremy was in the perfect mood to beat a bitch.

“Watch yourself, asshole,” he grunted back.

The guy whirled around and grabbed Jeremy’s jacket by the shoulder.

“Excuse me?!” He demanded, “What the fuck’dya say?!”

Jeremy wrinkled his nose at the disgusting breath that wafted over him.

“I said watch yourself,” he sneered, “Since you’re so much taller, shouldn’t you be able to see where the fuck you’re going?”

He shoved the man’s hand off his jacket. The guy threw a hook that Jeremy easily leaned back to dodge. He grabbed his arm and sent an uppercut to his ribs. The guy stumbled and Jeremy fired off another upper, sending the guy into someone else. Jeremy straightened his jacket and stepped forward to walk away. A hand gripped his shoulder to spin him. 

He ducked to miss the wild punch and thrust his palm into their sternum, sending them back with a gasp. Ah, the guy who got bumped. He brought a leg up and sent his boot into the thigh of the person trying to sneak up on him and sent a hook to their face. 

Before he could walk away, a beer bottle exploded against his back. He grunted and whipped around, side-stepping a second bottle as the thrower ran at him. He sent his left fist into the guy who’d recovered from the sternum hit and front kicked the bottle thrower in the guts. 

“Goddamnit, Rimmy!”

Jeremy glanced at the bartender as he knocked out sternum guy with a hook.

“Oh, shit!” He exclaimed, eyes going wide, “Matt, I didn’t know you were working!”

He spun in a roundhouse at the thrower and made his way to the bar.

“Sorry bout that,” he muttered.

“Sorry don’t fix the damage,” Matt growled through clenched teeth.

He poured a shot of tequila and Jeremy downed it.

“Bragg, I always pay my debts,” he assured him. 

“You’re not a Lannister, man,” Matt grumbled.

“But I am Fake,” Jeremy pointed out, “So it’s very s-“

Jeremy was yanked back by his collar and he rolled his eyes. He mule kicked their shin and twisted, ducking under their arm. He grabbed their wrist and yanked, jabbing them in the face. They stumbled and launched at Jeremy, basically football tackling him into the bar. He wheezed as his breath was forced out of his lungs and reached for the nearest drink, smashing it over the guy’s head. 

They grabbed the back of his jacket and reared back, lifting Jeremy off the ground. Jeremy sent a knee to their already damaged nose and vaulted over their head, springing off their back and landing on his feet with a wobble. He stumbled, knees a bit unprepared for the sudden vault and was grabbed under the arms. He threw his weight back taking the person by surprise and they landed hard on the ground. 

The big guy who’d thrown him against the bar started forward and he sent both feet into the guy’s stomach, then one into his face when he bent over. Before he could see if it’d knocked him out, the guy below him caught his breath and rolled them, shoving Jeremy against the floor. Jeremy’s ears rang as his head smacked against the rough wood. The guy twisted one of his arms around his back while he tried to recover.

“That a roll of quarters in your pocket?” Jeremy grunted.

The guy reared back like Jeremy was on fire, giving him space to knock an elbow into his face. The guy hissed and Jeremy jabbed more with his elbow though the guy blocked them and wrestled his other arm out of his loosened hold. 

He put his hands flat on the ground and slammed his head against the guy’s nose then pushed up and shoved sideways to tip the guy off him. He blocked the left hook Jeremy sent to his head, but missed the right and went limp. Jeremy wobbled to his feet and made his way back to the bar where Matt poured him another shot. He knocked it back with a grateful noise.

“So anyway,” he muttered, rolling his aching shoulders, “How you been?”

“Been better,” Matt grumbled, looking pointedly at the unconscious people behind him.

“Hey, they started it,” Jeremy protested.

He fished his wallet out and handed over all the cash he had on him.

“I’ll get the damage sorted later,” he promised, “At least take this for the drinks and such.”

“I guess I forgive you,” Matt answered reluctantly, “Where you been, man?”

“Work,” Jeremy muttered bitterly, “Got me on every job that comes up.”

“That’s what you get for being a jack of all trades,” Matt teased, “Told you to get a specialty. You’re bleeding by the way.”

Jeremy rubbed blood away from the wound on his head and shrugged.

“I dunno, man.”

“You need to take a lesson from the Vagabond,” Matt suggested, “Pick one thing, get good at it.”

“Yeah, what’s his one thing?” Jeremy laughed.

“Murder,” Matt answered immediately, “Knife murder specifically, I guess.”

Jeremy thought back to the vast array of knives in the armory and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s probably it,” He agreed, “I guess they all got something, huh?”

“Yeah, a focus,” Matt answered thoughtfully, “Mogar is the boomer, Queen Jack is the driver, King Geoff is the charm.”

“What’s Golden Boy then?” Jeremy asked, grinning.

Matt frowned at him.

“Golden Boy is just weird,” he muttered, “I can’t decipher who or what he is.”

_That’s Gavin,_ Jeremy thought as he laughed. 

“He’s something, all right,” He joked.

“Hey, you know them better than me,” Matt pointed out, “Anyway, point is, you gotta pick one thing, make it yours.”

Jeremy looked away a moment.  _One thing, huh? A focus._ He hummed and shrugged his shoulders.

“I dunno, man,” he admitted, “Nothing comes to mind.”

“You’re joking, right?” Matt asked dryly, “I’m pretty sure it’s obvious.”

”Excuse me.”

Jeremy turned to see three tough looking thugs behind him.

“Hey fellas,” he greeted cheerfully, “Am I in your way?”

“We’d like to speak with you,” one said gruffly, “But we’d like to do so outside. More damage to this establishment is unnecessary.”

“Sure thing,” Jeremy agreed, turning back to Matt, “I gotta go get fucked up, I’ll talk to you soon. And I’ll get the repair money to ya.”

They fist bumped and Jeremy followed the three men outside. He cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders.

“You fellas ready?” He asked, grin widening to manic proportions.

~

“Lil J?” Gavin called, waving a hand in front of his face, “What happened to you, mate? You look like hell.”

Which was true. He had a black eye, was bleeding, and had clear strangle bruises on his neck. He very difficultly shrugged his shoulders.

“I was born this ugly, bro,” He croaked.

“Even your voice sounds beat up,” Michael chimed in from the living room doorway, “Dude, where the hell you been all night?”

“Getting a drink,” Jeremy answered dryly.

“Geez, man,” Michael muttered, “Hell of a fucking bar fight.”

“You should see the other guys,” Jeremy quipped weakly.

“Well, Geoff said to let him know when you got in,” Gavin explained, “Family meeting.”

“Aces,” Jeremy mumbled tiredly.

The three lads made for the conference room, though two threw worried looks at each other that the third didn’t see. Jeremy swayed where he sat, waiting for everyone else to come in.

“Jesus Christ, kid!” Geoff exclaimed, “Gavin wasn’t fucking kidding! You look beat to hell.”

“I ran into a door,” he muttered weakly.

“Kid, you alright?” Geoff pressed, reaching towards him.

Jeremy ducked away and smacked Geoff’s hand aside. Geoff stared at him with raised eyebrows.

“Sorry,” Jeremy murmured, “Rough night.”

Geoff raised his hands in surrender and walked towards his usual spot. Jeremy’s head fell against the table, causing everyone to jump in surprise.

“Fucking christ!” Geoff hissed, rushing forward, “Jeremy?!”

“S-sorry, ‘m really tired,” he mumbled into the table, “Can I go sleep?”

“Jeez, kid, yes, you can,” Geoff answered, “Can you get there on your own?”

Jeremy lifted his head.

“Nope.”

His head fell again. 

“Alright, Ry, get him to his room,” Geoff ordered, “Before he knocks himself out.”

“I don’t think that’s-“ Jack and Ryan spoke together.

“Don’t argue!” Geoff snapped, his eyes lighting with fire, “Ryan, _now.”_

Ryan obeyed, helping Jeremy to his feet then lifting him when he couldn’t support any of his own weight. Geoff was snapping off more orders as the door closed behind Ryan. He fought the urge to look down at the kid as he got him in his bed. He carefully untying his shoes, forcing himself to focus on the task. He couldn’t look at his face. He couldn’t see how hurt he was. He carefully pulled his jeans off as well and struggled a moment before managing to get his hoodie off. He pulled Jeremy’s covers up around him and finally looked at his face.

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” He whispered _._

His fingers brushed over Jeremy’s bruises. _I fucked up. I shouldn’t have started this._


	7. Chapter 7

“Jeremy.”

Jeremy halted halfway through his flip, hanging by one knee and looked over at Ryan. He raised his eyebrow.

“Hey, V,” he greeted, “What cha doin’?”

“I came to apologize.”

Jeremy flipped backwards, landing on his feet. He gestured for Ryan to follow him over to the bench he put his stuff on and flopped down.

“For what?” He prompted, lifting up his water bottle.

“The thing I said,” Ryan answered, “About Ray. That was a very fucked up moment to say something like that.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows at him.

“I’m not mad about that,” he assured him, “I was just being a smartass. I don’t actually care.”

Ryan looked at him, eyes searching.

“But you’re mad about something,” he pressed.

“I’m not mad at you,” Jeremy clarified, “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

Ryan was looking at him like he really didn’t believe it. It was true though, he wasn’t mad at him. He was mad about getting hand-me-downs. Even if he didn’t have the right to be. It wasn’t like they were dating as he and Ray had, so why would Ryan buy him special BDSM gear?

Jeremy finally just shrugged, wincing at his sore shoulders. He rolled one, lifting a hand to gently rub over the plethora of bruises. Three days and they were still there. Bastard bit hard. It didn’t help that he’d immediately covered them in more bruises by getting into a fight. Getting into  _fights,_ he corrected.

“Do they hurt?”

Jeremy gave him a dry look and Ryan chuckled a bit.

“Dumb question,” he agreed, “At least your face is mostly healed.”

“Yeah, I’m all pretty again,” Jeremy quipped. 

He stretched out his back with a grunt. Soreness is inevitable when you fuck like you’re fighting and still go out and fight. Honestly, Jeremy looked like he’d been beaten, tied up, beaten more, hung, and then beaten again for good measure, but some how managed to survive. 

“You don’t cover them,” Ryan commented quietly.

“Don’t cover what?” Jeremy asked, looking over.

“The bites,” Ryan clarified, “You don’t cover them, despite how obvious they are.”

Jeremy peeked down at his shoulder and shrugged.

“Should I cover them?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” Ryan admitted, “I guess I just assumed you wouldn’t want anyone to know.”

“The point of marks are to be seen,” he pointed out, “I seem to recall you muttering something about that in my ear.”

He wasn’t totally sure, but he thought he saw a blush on Ryan’s cheeks. He laughed to himself and stood, stretching a bit more.

“Well, if that’s all,” He said, “I gotta get back to it.”

“Yeah, that’s all.”

Ryan stood too and turned to leave.

“See ya, V!” Jeremy called over his shoulder as he hoisted himself up.

“See ya, Rimmy.”

The disappointment in his guts at being called his code name actually brought tears to his eyes, but he ignored them. Whoever he was, it didn’t really matter. Rimmy Tim or Jeremy Dooley, he was still a pretty insignificant person. 

~

“We’d have to get at least 70 feet in the air,” Jack grumbled.

“Yeah, it’s high,” Geoff admitted, sighing, “We gotta get through that window by scaling the building. There’s no other opening.”

“That’s easy enough,” Jeremy commented, “Is that the main obstacle? If so, we should be...”

He trailed off, realizing everyone was staring at him. 

“Um, is there something on my face?” He joked nervously.

“J, you can scale this building?” Geoff pressed.

Jeremy looked between the different members anxiously.

“It is the museum on Springs, right?” He clarified.

“Yeah, the art history museum,” Jack confirmed.

“Then yes, I have,” he affirmed.

Geoff took his hands off the table and turned fully towards him.

“Wait, you’ve already done it?” He demanded, “You’ve already scaled it once?”

Jeremy shrank a bit from his intensity.

“Er, yeah, it’s got a good view,” he answered, “I go up with a scope sometimes.”

Geoff put his hands together and took a deep breath like he needed to calm himself.

“You scale it on a regular basis,” he stated.

“Um, I dunno about regular,” Jeremy muttered, “But yeah, it’s not that high.”

“It’s not that-?!” Jack exclaimed, cutting herself off with a strangled noise, “Jesus Jeremy, why didn’t you tell us you can scale buildings?”

He fidgeted nervously, ducking his head.

“You didn’t ask?” He offered, “And I thought everyone could.”

“I’m gonna shoot him,” Michael piped up dryly, “This kid, I swear to god.”

Everyone was giving him looks of disbelief and awe. 

“I just...figured you guys were good at this stuff too,” he admitted, “You guys don’t do this stuff?”

“Scale a tall building?” Geoff scoffed, “Maybe thirty feet. If we need to exit out a window and have no other choice. We’re talking two to three times that and going up. You’re the only one of us that can do that.”

Jeremy felt a bit fuzzy. _One of us._ He smiled a bit to himself. What was it that Matt had said? Find a focus. He suddenly brightened up significantly and sat up straighter.

“I’m really good at gymnastics and acrobatics,” He chirped cheerfully, “I can do it!”

“Yay, Lil J’s got it!” Gavin cheered, grabbing him in an enthusiastic hug.

“Jesus, it’s like watching a fuckin sunrise,” Geoff muttered.

“Or a puppy after you tell them they’re a good boy,” Jack whispered back.

Ryan was glad he had his face shield on when she said it. He really didn’t want anyone to see the giant smile he got on his face from that comment. _You have no idea, Jack._


	8. Chapter 8

“Fuck!” Jeremy grunted as the line yanked against him.

Even in his best boots, he was sliding. He stumbled, trying to throw himself backwards to hold Ryan’s weight. Instead, he fell and slid right off the wall and tumbled to the mat. He groaned, huffing out a pained breath. They’d been at it all day and he was fucking tired. Ryan had already gotten back up to try again and Jeremy rolled his eyes. _Stupid heavy bastard._

“Are you going to get up?” He asked, clearly annoyed.

“I fell twenty feet,” Jeremy grumbled, “Give me a fucking second.”

“Don’t be a child,” Ryan snapped, “Quit throwing a tantrum and get up.”

“Easy for you to say!” Jeremy yelled back, “You fell like three feet!”

He got to his feet, legs a bit shaky.

“Yeah, about a hundred times now,” Ryan groused.

“Do you wanna do this?!” Jeremy spat, “You wanna switch places and haul my fatass up a wall?!”

“I can’t scale the fucking wall!” Ryan shouted, “Only _you_ can do it!”

“Yeah, so how about you shut the fuck up,” Jeremy growled, “And let me do my fucking job?!”

“I would if you were actually doing shit!” Ryan argued back, “We’ve been at this all fucking day! I thought this was your special talent?!”

Jeremy felt a sting in his chest that just pissed off more.

“It’s not my fault your giant ass weighs so fucking much!” He bit back.

“I’m not giant!” Ryan snarled, “You’re just-!”

“Hey!”

They jumped, startled by Jack yelling at them suddenly. She stormed across the gym and gave them each a whack to the back of the head. They scowled at her.

“You two fucking idiots need to get it together!” She snapped, “You’re disrupting the whole base with your screaming. Michael’s building a fucking bomb, so if you could not endanger the whole crew that would be great.”

Jeremy winced, anger deflating. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, “It’s my fault. I gotta try harder.”

Jack ruffled his hair.

“You’re doing great, Jeremy,” she assured him, “I’m sure you guys are just tense. Ry, stop being so harsh on him. He’s the expert. He’s in charge.”

Jeremy almost flinched at how Ryan’s eyes flashed. 

“I-I don’t think that’s, uh,” He sputtered, “Th-That’s not true.”

But Jack was walking away with a “be nice” thrown over her shoulder. Ryan stalked towards him with danger oozing from him like the sweat oozing from Jeremy. Jeremy bumped the scaling wall behind him before he realized he was backing up. Ryan loomed over him like death personified. Jeremy swallowed.

“I-I’m s-sorry, I-“ He sputtered.

“Get on your knees,” Ryan growled, interrupting Jeremy’s excuses.

Jeremy’s blush only got worse as he lowered himself. Ryan was too big, there was no way. So why the fuck was he salivating at the thought?! Ryan unclipped his harness, letting it drop and opened his pants. Jeremy swallowed the extra spit, trying not to drool as Ryan pulled out his half hard cock. He leaned forward, eagerly opening his mouth, but hesitated. Ryan stared down at him with his guarded expression, but based on the way his dick rose in front of Jeremy’s face, he had to assume he liked what he saw. 

“I thought I was too big?” He taunted.

Jeremy looked away, embarrassed, but unwilling to close his mouth. If he tried to talk, maybe Ryan would back away and he really wanted him in his mouth all of a sudden. 

“You weren’t born, were you?” Ryan mused, “You just hopped straight out of a porno.”

Jeremy wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, but his dick seemed to think it was. 

“Go on then,” Ryan ordered, “Take what you want.”

Jeremy’s mouth was on him like it was a life line and Ryan’s hands braced against the wall. He was definitely too big, Jeremy lamented, bringing up a hand to wrap around the base of his cock. Jeremy could probably die if he tried to take it all.

“Tap out if you need to,” Ryan muttered breathlessly.

Jeremy nodded vaguely, but stayed focused. He sucked him in to the back of his mouth, tongue rubbing back and forth under the heavy weight. Little less than halfway. _Disappointing._ He pulled back, rubbing up his shaft to smear saliva down it and gently pressed his teeth around the head. Ryan moaned loudly and Jeremy gasped as the sound shot through him like electricity. Ryan grunted and looked down, no doubt to ask if he was okay. Jeremy looked up and surged forward, eyes locked with Ryan’s as he choked, tears immediately running down his face. Ryan moaned again, jerking forward. 

Jeremy’s body panicked as his throat was blocked. He scrambled for a hold on Ryan’s jeans as his throat spasmed trying to expel the intruder and save his life. He almost bit down naturally, his teeth just barely pressing against Ryan’s cock. Ryan jerked again with another loud moan and Jeremy’s throat was flooded. He tapped rapidly, in panicked motions on Ryan’s thigh and the man leapt backwards out of his mouth.

“Shit, shit, are you okay?!” He demanded, dropping down to Jeremy’s level.

Jeremy swayed, roughly gasping and coughing. Tears streamed down his face and saliva and jizz dripped from his mouth. He was dizzy, his eyes struggling to focus on Ryan’s concerned face. He grinned widely.

“Can we do that again?” He croaked cheerfully.

Ryan put a hand over his eyes and sighed.

“Jesus, Jeremy,” he muttered, “You really are from a porno.”

Jeremy just grinned happily.

“Hold still.”

As Ryan cleaned him up, he nuzzled into his hands, disrupting his progress. He didn’t seem particularly annoyed by it though, so Jeremy didn’t stop. When his face was somewhat clean, Ryan unclipped his harness and reached down his pants. Jeremy promptly and obediently jizzed into his hand, rubbing his face against Ryan’s chest. Ryan cleaned that too and Jeremy weakly pawed at him, trying to snuggle closer. 

“I’ve got you, darling,” Ryan muttered, rubbing a hand through his hair, “I’m going to take you to your bed, okay?”

“Nooo!” Jeremy whined out in a strained whisper, grabbing his shirt, “You!”

Ryan pulled him into his arms and stood.

“It’s okay, darling,” he soothed, “I’ll stay with you, okay?”

Jeremy relaxed somewhat, reaching up to hold onto Ryan around his neck. He buried his face in the side of his neck and pressed tiny, fluttery kisses there. Ryan wanted to break something. Jack gave him a look as they passed in the hall and he glared at her. 

As he carefully laid Jeremy down, the kid held on, looking up at him with sleepy, sad eyes filled with tears. 

“St-stay?” He whimpered.

“Yes, Jeremy, I’m staying,” he assured him.

Jeremy’s mouth curled into a smile and he stretched up. Ryan froze against the kiss and Jeremy let go, falling against the bed. Ryan’s heart was going a million miles an hour and he considered just making a run for it. But he couldn’t. If he was going to be Jeremy’s “sex friend”, he had to commit to it. He couldn’t just dom his ass then bounce when Jeremy needed him. He sighed and started untying Jeremy’s shoes. He fucked up. He shouldn’t have allowed this to start. 

~

Jeremy was really surprised that Ryan was actually there when he woke up. Last time he fell asleep demanding such a thing, he woke up to Ryan a million miles away. This time, Ryan was in bed with him, leaning against his headboard. He’d taken off Jeremy’s shoes and his own, along with his jeans. Jeremy’s head was in his lap and he had a hand brushing through his hair. Though it wasn’t exactly cuddling, it felt nice. 

Would’ve felt better if Jeremy wasn’t overpowered by the smell of dick. He wrinkled his nose and pulled away, rubbing his eyes. He checked his watch and his stomach sank. He’d slept too long. They only had a few days to get the climb down and they hadn’t even gotten the twenty down. Damnit, he was failing already and it was only his first special job. He pushed his palms into his eyelids. _Get it together!_

“Are you okay?”

_Yes._

Jeremy frowned, looking up. 

_Yes I’m fine._

His mouth was moving, but only a tiny rasping noise came out. 

_I lost my voice._

“You lost your voice,” Ryan realized, sitting forward, “Jesus, did I crush your voice box?”

He reached out and touched Jeremy’s throat gently, a look of concern and apology etched into his face. Jeremy’s face went red. He’d lost his voice sucking dick. He covered his face in embarrassment. Jesus fucking Christ, could his life get any more embarrassing?!

“I’m sorry,” Ryan muttered softly, “I should’ve been more careful. You did warn me. Sorry.”

Jeremy glared at him over his hands. _Fuck your giant cock, you monster!_ Jeremy’s mouth watered and he ducked back into his hands. _At least heal first you fucking whore! Jesus._

“Come on,” Ryan said, getting up, “Let’s go to the kitchen for tea or something.”

He pulled on his jeans and Jeremy shot him an annoyed look as he picked up his shoes. They were untied already, to his surprise, but he was grateful. He hated having to untie his shoes to put them on. He stood and immediately fell, Ryan swooping to catch him before he broke his nose on the floor.

“Th-“

Ryan covered his mouth.

“No talking, you’ll make it worse,” he grunted, “Is it your knees?”

Jeremy nodded and Ryan helped him sit back on the bed. Jeremy stretched his legs, wincing. He hadn’t been on the ground that long, had he? Judging by Ryan’s guilty look, he had, but Jeremy could’ve sworn it was only a few minutes. He must’ve gone fuzzy and lost his sense of time. He stretched out the stiffness and Ryan helped him wobble to his feet. 

“Sorry,” he muttered again as he helped him take a few steps.

Jeremy punched his arm, scowling. The motion jarred him and he stumbled, but his scowl didn’t waver. Ryan smiled lightly.

“Right, your choice,” he agreed, “Masochist.”

His grin turned teasing and Jeremy punched him again. _Fucking asshole._ They made their way to the kitchen and Jeremy could walk on his own again by the time they got there. Jeremy slumped onto one of the barstools and Ryan went to the Keurig.

“Lil J!” Gavin cried, flinging his arms around him, “Save me!!”

Jeremy opened his mouth to ask from what when he was answered.

“Gavin Free, I’m going to fucking kill you!” Michael screamed, rounding the corner.

Jeremy tried to shove Gavin away to stay out of it, but Gavin just turned, moving to put Jeremy between himself and Michael. Jeremy sighed, shaking his head. Ryan slid a mug of tea across the counter towards him. Jeremy puffed on it, trying to cool it down as Michael advanced on Gavin. 

“Gavin.”

The lads jumped, startled by Ryan’s sudden speaking. Gavin shrank behind Jeremy, hiding from Ryan’s cold gaze.

“Let go of Rimmy.”

Gavin did so with a whine of protest. Jeremy felt a sting in his eyes. He was Rimmy around the others. 

_You don’t cover them._

Jeremy felt his chest tighten. It wasn’t that he thought Jeremy didn’t want them to know, it was that _he_ didn’t want them to know. Jeremy jumped as the mug in his hands shattered. 

“Fuck!” He hissed, wincing. 

“Jeremy?” Gavin called, “Jesus! Ry, grab a towel!”

Ryan was there already, but Jeremy jerked away from him.

“No!” He shouted, wincing again.

He half fell, half launched himself from the stool, it clattering to the floor. He couldn’t look at his concerned face, couldn’t see care in his eyes. He turned and sprinted back towards his room, slamming and locking the door. He was crying as he ran water over his hands, but it wasn’t from the pain. He was an idiot. He’d started to think maybe... he was so fucking stupid! Why did he start to get hopeful?!

Ryan stared at the broken mug, still holding the kitchen towel out. What happened? Why had he run away? His hand clenched into a fist. Was it because Ryan was too forceful? Was he scared now? He dropped the towel to the counter and wiped up the tea. The few drops of blood on the granite made his stomach clench. He shouldn’t have...he shouldn’t have started it in the first place. But then he’d forced himself down Jeremy’s throat even though the kid had told him he was too big. He’d flinched away from him. Ryan suddenly wanted to cry and it infuriated him. He pulled the trash can over to swipe the mug shards in.

“It’s a shame,” Gavin piped up, “That’s his favorite one!”

Ryan hesitated. 

“We could glue it,” he muttered.

“Yeah!” Gavin agreed, bouncing a bit, “Maybe that would make him feel better!”

“He does get happy about little stuff,” Michael spoke up, his anger from earlier gone, “And he’s been in a bad mood lately.”

Ryan’s heart sank as he collected the mug pieces.

“He has?” He questioned casually.

“You haven’t noticed?” Gavin scoffed, “He’s totally out of sync.”

Ryan rinsed the pieces, feeling an oppressive sense of self-loathing.

“Yeah, he’s anxious about the job,” Michael explained, “I mean, there’s more to it, I think, but he really wants the museum job to go well.”

Ryan’s shoulders sagged under his guilt. _I was so hard on him earlier..._

“Yeah, but all you gotta do is give him a gift,” Gavin piped up, “Then he perks right up.”

Ryan moved the pieces to a clean towel. That’s right, he’d loved the bike so much.

“Well, I think this time it needs to be a huge gesture gift,” Michael argued lightly, “You know how he gets when he’s included.”

Ryan turned around with the wrapped up pieces and raised his eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” He pressed.

“You know, he likes being called one of us,” Gavin chimed in, “He likes belonging and feeling important to us, you can’t tell me you haven’t seen it! He almost cried when I changed his name in my phone to Lil J. Oh! Micool! We should change the paint on that car finally!”

“Oh, the FMJ,” Michael commented, “Yeah, he’ll love that. Nearly creamed himself when I called him official for having the bike.”

Ryan looked down at the mug. _Why can everyone see everything about him, but I don’t understand him at all?_ He probably felt so shitty because Ryan had been treating him like a fleshlight and yet Ryan was the only one who hadn’t known he was in a bad mood. 


	9. Chapter 9

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Jeremy sighed. Gavin was pounding on his door again. He opened the door, trying to ooze apology. Gavin brightened.

“We were considering busting in the door!” He laughed.

“No, _he_ was,” Michael grumbled, poking his head into the doorway.

“Have you guys been calling for me?” He asked, “I’ve been asleep. I was really tired after the climbing practice.”

_Lies._ He had heard every time they knocked the past 12 hours. 

“That’s what I said,” Michael answered, shoving Gavin’s head down, “This idiot was convinced you hated him.”

The guilt hit Jeremy like a slap. Gavin shoved at Michael, trying to get away. Michael just ruffled his hair aggressively.

“Anyway, we got something for you,” he added, “Come on.”

Jeremy hesitated, but followed them. He mostly felt better now that he had time to process Ryan’s actions. It wasn’t bad that Ryan didn’t want anyone to know. Likely he didn’t want to get shamed for pursuing a purely sexual relationship with Jeremy. Especially since he was Ray’s replacement. No doubt that was pretty awkward for him. And really it was no one’s business. 

The only reason Jeremy was upset was because he’d been hoping for more. Which was stupid. His thoughts over the matter were interrupted by Gavin yanking his hand.

“Ow! That hurt!” He grumbled, pulling away.

“Look!”

He looked where he was pointing. He stepped towards the car.

“Holy shit!” He cried, “Where the hell did you get this paint job?!”

He stooped down to run his fingers over the purple of the FMJ. The orange across the bumper popped out in comparison. He ran his hand over the hood, appreciating the clean yellow rims. _Definitely freshly painted._

“It looks awesome!” He chirped, looking over at the other lads.

They grinned widely at him, looking almost expectant. Jeremy’s hand paused the vague petting he was doing over the paint job. His eyes went wide. _Purple, orange, yellow._ They laughed, jostling each other’s shoulders. 

“No way!” He shouted, “Really?!”

“Yup!” Gavin answered, bouncing on his feet.

Jeremy’s eyes filled with tears and he launched at them, almost tackling them to the ground in his excitement.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

They laughed and he pulled away, wiping at his eyes then hugged them again. He leaned away, bouncing on his heels. Michael turned to Gavin, grinning evilly and holding out his hand. Gavin glared at him, pulling out his wallet and handing over twenty bucks. Jeremy wiped more at his tears.

“Wh-What?” He asked, watching the money change hands.

“Told him you’d definitely cry,” Michael explained proudly.

“Hmph, I thought you’d just tear up,” Gavin groused, “You let me down, Lil J.”

Jeremy laughed and surged forward, kissing them each on the cheek. 

“I love you guys!” He proclaimed cheerfully, “You’re my favorite! Let’s ride!”

He grabbed them in another hug and bounded towards the door where the keys hung on the wall. He faltered as he saw Ryan leaning against one of the cars, but he kept going giving him a cheerful wave.

“Heya, V!” He greeted, “Gavin and Michael gave me the FMJ!”

“I heard.”

Jeremy pulled the key from the appropriate hook and started back towards them, but had to stop as they had followed. Gavin looked a bit depressed and Michael looked regretful.

“J, we were supposed to practice the climb,” Michael mumbled, “Jack wants you to try with one of us.”

Jeremy deflated a bit and put the key back. 

“Well, we can ride later,” he assured them, “Then Michael let’s go practice! Oh!”

He stood up on tip toes to look at Ryan over their head.

“Do you want to come too?” He called, “Maybe we can figure out what I’m doing wrong if we’re both there.”

Ryan gave him the guarded look again, but followed them. Gavin jumped on Jeremy as they went to the gym.

“Why not me?” He demanded, “Why Michael? Do you like Michael more than me?”

“No one likes Michael more than you do,” Jeremy teased, grinning.

Gavin’s face was red.

“That’s not what I meant, Lil J!” He grumbled.

Jeremy ruffled his hair.

“I know, dumbass,” he laughed, “I’m teasing you. But didn’t I tell you that you’re my favorite?”

“You say that to everyone,” Gavin pointed out.

“Because it’s true,” Jeremy answered, “I love all of you.”

Gavin grinned happily as they went to the climbing equipment. Ryan had apparently put it all away, correctly even. _Thank fuck._ He helped Michael into a harness and pointed out all the important bits. 

“You didn’t answer though!” Gavin suddenly pointed out, “Why Michael? Why not me?”

“Because you are all limbs,” Jeremy answered. 

He shoved him away from where he was apparently trying to climb Jeremy and finished tightening his harness and tying off the knots. After they’d stretched a bit and discussed the process, Jeremy rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath. As he lifted his hands, he suddenly remembered he’d fucked them up on the mug. Whatever, not that bad. He’d climbed with a broken hand before, he could handle it. 

He relaxed his legs and lifted himself up the wall. The wall was easy, he’d climbed it dozens of times since they’d gotten it finished last week. He’d been a bit hesitant about it, but eventually agreed that having one was a good idea. They needed practice and he couldn’t exactly bring the Vagabond to the local climbing place or practice on the real thing. After this job though, it’d only be for Jeremy and that worried him. He didn’t like being inconvenient.

He checked the line as he got to the top and got into position. 

_Calm your mind. Breathe in your surroundings._

The sound of the air conditioner. The hum of the fridge. His own breathing. The feel of the rope in his hands, the harness on his pelvis, his feet on the top of the wall.

_If you lose your calm, you could lose your life._

“Alright, Michael,” he called down, “Ready when you are.”

Michael tugged the line and Jeremy stiffened as he started up. Michael was way easier to anchor. He was much lighter and as he moved, Jeremy realized he wasn’t leaned as far forward as Ryan had been or as tense. He also used the rope more than Ryan had. Ryan’s hand had barely touched the rope, he’d clung to the wall. 

Jeremy’s eyes went wide as he realized half the problem. _Ryan’s fucking nervous._ His eyes cut to where the guy was watching them. Did he even know he was nervous? He stepped back as Michael reached the top. They caught their breath and fist bumped.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Michael asked quietly, “Ry’s the one fucking up.”

Jeremy winced, glancing over at the man in question.

“I don’t think he’s at fault,” he muttered, rubbing at his shoulder, “I, uh, think I didn’t teach him right.”

Michael slapped his shoulder.

“You don’t have to make excuses,” he assured him, “But do be careful, he can be a bit volatile.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows at him.

“You’re one to talk,” he teased, “Mr. Dynamite himself.”

He grinned widely at him, but froze as he saw the evil smile Michael was giving him.

“Michael, don’t be hasty now,” he muttered frantically, “Let’s talk about this-“

He was cut off by Michael grabbing him around the middle which startled him. _Is he hugging me??_ Then he was falling the short distance. He twisted, trying to grab Michael to stop himself from falling as the line pulled taut. The wide-eyed look of shock on Michael’s face was satisfying for a second before he landed, sandwiched between Michael and the ground.

“J, you fucking assface!” Michael growled, pushing up on Jeremy’s chest.

_“You_ pushed _me!_ ” Jeremy wheezed, shoving Michael off him, “Not my fault you forgot we were attached!”

Michael fell on the mat with a huff and then they started laughing. Ryan and Gavin appeared over their heads.

“Why are you laughing?” Gavin asked, frowning.

“Because Michael’s an idiot,” Jeremy answered immediately.

Michael smacked his pec as he sat up.

“We were laughing because your face is funny,” he grumbled.

“That’s true,” Jeremy grunted as they got to their feet, “You do got a funny looking face.”

He started helping Michael out of the harness.

“You figured it out.”

Ryan’s face was in guarded mode as always.

“Yup,” Jeremy answered, though it wasn’t a question, “I got it all figured out, so we’re gonna try again.”

“Boi, you did it!” Gavin exclaimed, hugging Michael.

“No, Jeremy did,” he corrected, “I just happened to be here. Well, time for Team Nice Dynamite to mosey on.”

He started shoving Gavin from the place, throwing an encouraging look at Jeremy who just winced. He turned to Ryan to help him into the harness. How to explain without sounding like he was blaming him?

“It’s...me, isn’t it?” Ryan asked quietly.

Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck.

“Not...necessarily,” he muttered.

Ryan took his hand and Jeremy winced. Ryan’s hand shot away.

“S-sorry.”

Jeremy took a deep breath. _Just tell him. Be a fucking adult._

“You’re too fucking nervous!” He blurted, too loud, “You’re really tense and you lean too far forward. You need to rely more on me and just trust...”

He trailed off.

“You...don’t trust me,” he realized, “That’s why you’re struggling. You can’t let me anchor you if you don’t trust me.”

“Oh.”

Jeremy looked up at Ryan’s face. His guarded expression had dropped and he was staring down at his hands. He looked annoyed and disappointed, but most of all he looked guilty. Jeremy reached forward and took his hands. Ryan looked at him in surprise.

“It’s okay,” he assured him, squeezing his hands, “It’s not like you can make yourself trust me. Trust is earned and we haven’t known each other that long. So we’re gonna work on it together, okay?”

Ryan looked guarded again, but nodded. Jeremy grinned and squeezed his hands before letting them go.

“Okay, first thing,” he started, “I’m going to get two anchors up so we can practice side by side. I think the problem is you’re trying to copy me. So give me a second.”

Ryan watched Jeremy scale the wall with ease. _He’s... amazing._ His heart was pounding in his chest. He squeezed his hands closed, trying to keep a hold on the warmth Jeremy’s hands had left behind. 

He probably should have told him at some point that he’d literally never climbed before. He was a massive dick. His guilt only seemed to get heavier. 

~

“We’ve got it,” Jeremy assured Geoff firmly.

He could feel Ryan’s eyes on him, but he looked only at Geoff, gaze steady. Geoff rubbed a hand over his chin like he might not believe him, but eventually broke into a smile and clapped a hand hard on his shoulder.

“I knew you could do it!” He insisted, shaking Jeremy a bit, “There’s a reason we hired you, you know!”

“My good looks?” Jeremy quipped, grinning.

“Well, that’s a plus,” Geoff joked back.

He grabbed him around the shoulder and dug his knuckles in Jeremy’s scalp before releasing him to turn back to Gavin.

“What about you, Gav?” He questioned, “You get everything sorted?”

“Yup!” Gavin replied cheerfully, “I’ve got the buyers and the forgeries ready to go.”

“And everyone’s got the plan?” Geoff directed at the whole room. 

He got an affirmative from the gang and grinned. 

“Alright then, go get loose,” He dismissed them, “Nothing too nuts, but I need no tension. This is high risk, I don’t need to tell you how important it is for us to do it right. Now get out of here.”

The crew filtered out of the conference room, chattering cheerfully. Jeremy was considering the best corner to hide in, but there was a hand on his shoulder before he could decide. He smiled sheepishly up at Ryan who looked pretty mad. 

“A word.”

Jeremy swallowed thickly as he followed Ryan down the hall to his room. As soon as the door was closed, Ryan rounded on him, pulling his face shield down.

“Are you a fucking idiot?!” He demanded, “What the fuck were you thinking?! You’re going to get us killed!”

“Listen, we can do it,” Jeremy insisted, “I know we can do it. And this is our only window.”

“There will always be windows!” Ryan disagreed, “What there won’t be is an us if we go in unprepared! What if you fucking drop me fifty feet up?? What if I pull you seventy feet down??”

“We’re not going to,” Jeremy reaffirmed, crossing his arms, “We can do it. We’re ready.”

Ryan grabbed his shoulders and shoved him against the door. Jeremy grunted as his head knocked against it.

“Stop fucking saying that!” Ryan snapped, “We’re going to die!”

Jeremy shoved his arms off him and pushed his chest, sending him back several steps. 

“You’re fucking pissing me off, _Vagabond,_ ” He growled, “Just because you don’t think we can do it, doesn’t mean we can’t! And don’t fucking lump me in with you! You wanna believe you can’t, fucking fine! But I _know_ I can!”

Ryan grabbed his shirt and shoved him against the door again.

“Don’t think you can talk back,” he snarled, “Geoff praised you and now you think you can disrespect me? Don’t forget that you’re fucking _mine.”_

Jeremy’s fist landed on his face, taking him by surprise and Jeremy once again succeeded in pushing him away. 

“You should know by now,” Jeremy growled, “That if you want my ass, you have to fucking earn it.”

He planted his feet and lifted his fists into a defensive stance. Ryan mirrored him and they squared off, sizing each other up. There was a brief pause of time where the air was filled with electricity and anticipation. Then Ryan sprung off his back foot and launched himself at Jeremy who jerked his head to the side to miss the first jab aimed straight at his face. He gripped Ryan’s outstretched wrist to keep it out of his face and snapped his shin up to the guy’s guts.

Ryan caught his leg and twisted getting a small shout of pain before Jeremy ducked under Ryan’s arm and twisted, succeeding somewhat in righting his leg. Ryan wrapped his free arm around Jeremy’s neck. Jeremy paused a second before launching off his other foot and shoving backwards. As Ryan stumbled, Jeremy clawed at the arm around his neck, but Ryan didn’t let go until he fell hard on the floor, getting winded. 

Jeremy rolled off him and attempted to crawl away, but Ryan didn’t let him get far, yanking on his ankle and dragging him backward. Jeremy grunted at the carpet burn as his shirt rode up. He kicked Ryan’s hand with his free foot, causing him to drop him with a hiss. Before he could try to wiggle away, Ryan dropped over him, palms shoving against his shoulder blades, flattening him against the floor. Ryan’s hips pinned his and Jeremy groaned as Ryan’s boner rubbed against his ass. 

Jeremy tried to catch his breath as he awkwardly wrapped his legs around Ryan’s. It was way harder to do backwards, he thought, squeezing until he heard a grunt. Ryan moved his hands down to pry at Jeremy’s legs and Jeremy surged upwards, pushing up from the floor. He twisted, trying to send them sideways, but Ryan dropped his weight on him, sending him back to the floor. 

“You fucking giant heavy bastard,” he groaned.

“I’m not big, you’re just small,” Ryan grunted back.

Jeremy’s legs had fallen away and he allowed himself a moment to gather his thoughts as he heard the sound of a switchblade opening behind him. 

“Giving up so soon?” Ryan taunted as he cut through Jeremy’s shirt.

“No, I’m just deciding if I should break your fucking nose you smug bastard,” Jeremy growled.

The cold blade touched the side of Jeremy’s neck and he shuddered, ass pushing up against Ryan’s crotch. The noise that came out of his mouth he’d rather not think about as his whole body blushed. Ryan’s breath went harsh above him.

“Jesus, Jeremy,” he groaned, “Did you step directly from my fantasies? Fuck, I couldn’t have built a more perfect match.”

Jeremy’s heart squeezed. _Perfect match._ His eyes filled with tears. _I can’t do this any more._

“R-red, red,” He sputtered, “Get-get off me.”

Ryan leaped away quickly, though he stayed close. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, voice filled with worry as Jeremy pushed up off the ground, “What do you need? Was the knife-“

“Shut up!” Jeremy screamed, choking on his tears, “Just shut the fuck up!”

He wobbled to his feet and stormed out of his room to the garage, grabbing his jacket on the way. He ignored Ryan who jogged to catch up with him as he pulled it on over the holes he’d made in his shirt. Ryan’s hands fluttered around him and Jeremy slapped them away.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he growled, “Don’t fucking treat me like a fragile child.”

Hot tears ran down his face as he turned and continued his walk to the bike. Ryan followed and he felt like telling him to eat dicks. 

“Jeremy, I’m sorry,” he muttered, “What happened? What made you uncomfortable?”

Jeremy spun, round housing the man directly in the face. Ryan’s head whipped to the side, a look of shock erupting on his face.

_“You,_ jackass! You made me uncomfortable!” Jeremy shouted, “Don’t fucking call me your goddamn match!”

He stopped to wipe his tears.

”We’re not fucking boyfriends!” He cried, “Don’t fucking suggest we are!”

Ryan spat blood on the garage floor.

”I’m sorry,” He mumbled, “It won’t happen again.”

Jeremy let out a frustrated, pained cry and turned back to the bike. He sounded so fucking sincere, so defeated, so _sad._ Why? Why did he have the right to be sad? Jeremy zipped from the garage once again blinded by tears. 

Ryan watched the place Jeremy disappeared. Jeremy was right. Ryan had chosen this for him and he had stepped into the role perfectly. It was Ryan who couldn’t figure out what the fuck he wanted. He shouldn’t have done this. He shouldn’t have let this start. But now, he couldn’t make himself stop.


	10. Chapter 10

Jeremy scaled the 70 feet fairly easily. It was quick, even for him. He was insanely anxious about it, so he needed to get to the top sooner rather than later. Not to mention they had precious little time. He jimmied the lock and slid open the window. He glanced around the room before he ducked inside. The room was full of signs of renovation and their window was in just the right blind spot behind a protective sheet. The recon had been accurate. _Perfect._

He turned to the matter at hand and tested the security of his knot before turning on his earpiece.

“Hey, V, you ready?”

“Ready, Rimmy.”

He sounded tense.

“Listen, don’t think about yesterday,” Jeremy instructed, “We’ll worry about feelings after the job, okay?”

“Okay.”

Still tense as shit.

“Ryan, look, I’m sorry I got mad,” He muttered, “I know I overre-“

“No, you didn’t,” Ryan interrupted, “You were right. I’ve been an asshole. I’m sorry.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened in surprise and welled up with emotion.

“Are you crying?” Ryan asked dryly.

“N-no!” Jeremy protested, wiping his eyes, “Sh-shut up!”

Ryan laughed and Jeremy couldn’t help but laugh too. 

“Fucking ass,” Jeremy grumbled, though he was still smiling, “I see you’re ready.”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Ryan agreed.

Much more relaxed. Jeremy sighed in relief and tossed the rope out the window. Ryan quickly tied himself and tested the line. Jeremy braced himself and rolled his shoulders.

_Calm your mind. Breathe in your surroundings._

The faint whistle of the breeze. His breathing. The smell of paint and sawdust. The rope in his hands. His feet planted on the floor.

_If you lose your calm, you could lose your life._

“Alright, go for it,” he called, “We got this.”

He grunted as Ryan began to climb and they went silent for several minutes. 70 feet, we can do it. Totally didn’t matter that they’d never even made it the twenty feet before. The line suddenly stopped moving completely about halfway. Taking a breather? 

“V, you okay?” He whispered, suddenly anxious.

“Jeremy.”

His voice was tight, but Jeremy could tell he was forcing himself to sound steady.

“I do trust you,” he continued, “It wasn’t distrust making me nervous.”

Jeremy frowned in confusion.

“I’m afraid of heights,” Ryan finished, sounding like he’d clenched his jaw shut.

Jeremy processed the confession. 

“You’ve never climbed before,” he muttered, “You’ve been on roofs, but never had to be on the edge.”

“Y-Yes,” Ryan answered, his voice weak, “I’m fuck-fucking terrified.”

_First time for everything,_ Jeremy thought. He took a deep breath. He needed to talk him through it, he could do that.

_ If you lose your calm, he could lose his life. _

“Alright, V, you still with me?” 

“Y-Yes.”

He sounded like he might cry. Jeremy’s chest was tight.

“Good boy, we can do this,” He called softly, “I’ve got you. I’m not going to let you fall. Are you holding the rope or the wall?”

“R-rope.”

“Good job, baby,” Jeremy praised, “You remembered my lessons! You got your toes on the wall too?”

“Yes.”

“You’re basically a pro,” Jeremy joked lightly, “Are you holding the slack or do you have both hands on the line?”

“On-on the l-line,” he mumbled weakly.

“You’re doing great, darling,” Jeremy assured him, shifting, “Just stay with me. I’m going to pull you up, so I need you to help by keeping your toes on the building. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes.”

Jeremy readjusted, moving to get the rope in front of him so he could pull properly.

“Alright, I’m going to pull,” Jeremy explained, “I need you to only walk up the building, okay? Try not to move too much, sweetie.”

“O-okay.”

Jeremy took a deep breath and pulled. Ryan made a small noise of fear when he started, but otherwise stayed silent as Jeremy pulled him up the building. Jeremy’s body was shaking only ten feet in. He was going to be sore for days. It was okay though, as long as he got Ryan safely up the building. Fuck, the bastard was heavy though. He was glad he’d basically forced Geoff to get the best climbing gear. He couldn’t imagine those magenta ropes would hold up against this tug of war.

“You...better get...me my own...” He grit out more to himself than Ryan, “Fucking...purple ropes...after this...bastard.”

And orange gags. The image of a bright orange ball gagging his mouth floated in his head. Legs tied in brilliant purple, spread wide for Ryan to use him as he pleased. If the restraints were purple and the gags were orange, what would be yellow? _Plugs,_ his brain supplied and he stifled a moan. _Ah, shit, I got a boner._

“Jeremy?”

Jeremy’s head whipped around to the window at the sound of Ryan’s voice and he almost dropped the rope in surprise. He stepped back, giving Ryan room to crawl in the room on unsteady feet. As soon as he was standing straight up, Jeremy grabbed him and shoved a hard, sloppy kiss to his mouth.

Then he pulled away and started unhooking the harnesses, shoving them in the pack and slinging it over his back. He rubbed his aching shoulders as he waited for Ryan to lead the way. He glanced around the room, careful to stay behind the sheet. Ryan stepped close to him and leaned down, putting his lips on Jeremy’s ear.

“Your little cock seems excited to see me,” he whispered, “Such a naughty little boy you are.”

He reached around him and roughly cupped Jeremy’s crotch. Jeremy shuddered against him.

“After this job,” Ryan growled, “I’m going to fuck you dry while you tell me what you were thinking about.”

Jeremy covered his mouth to stifle the moan as Ryan moved around him. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before pulling up his face covering. Okay, focus on the job. Worry about _that_ later. And punch the shit out of him for calling his cock little. _Asshole._

Jeremy followed Ryan closely, sure to step only where he stepped. They stopped at a computer where Ryan dropped down to plug it back in and then stood again to pull the protective sheet half off. As he booted up, he half turned to Jeremy.

“Watch the door,” he ordered, not actually looking away, “But don’t move.”

Jeremy pulled out his gun and kept his eyes on the door. Ryan started the process of the forced power outage. He’d said it’d take fifteen minutes or so and according to Jeremy’s watch, it took almost exactly fifteen. Which was obviously very impressive, but Jeremy wasn’t going to tell the smug bastard that. 

The place went dark and red lights turned on, giving the place a super spooky vibe. He suddenly felt like he was in a horror game. Was he going to have to fight ghosts? He didn’t do so good with ghosts. A museum probably wouldn’t have ghosts, right? An art museum at that, so probably no ghosts. _Probably._

He did _not_ shriek when a hand landed on his shoulder. Because his own hand slapped over his mouth, stifling it. 

“Jumpy,” Ryan muttered, moving around him, “Alright let’s move.”

Jeremy followed, easily falling in behind Ryan. Usually they worked pretty well together and that night was no different. They moved as though they’d spent their whole lives together, stopping at corners without needing to signal, covering each other’s blind spots, and sticking close enough to push or pull each other to safety if necessary. 

Jeremy hadn’t really been thinking about this part of them lately. He’d been so worried over the sexual part he’d forgotten how well they fit as partners. He wondered if this fluidity was a sign of being a good life partner as well. Based on their track record, he’d say probably not. 

The sound of Ryan opening the door drew him from his thoughts and the others filed in. Gavin passed out the forgeries and they fanned out to start swapping. He carefully pulled the first painting of the wall and turned the frame to unscrew it. He’d just gotten the backing off when he heard the sound of a scuffle over his earpiece. 

“Who is that?” Geoff demanded, “Sound off!”

“Vagabond, present.”

Jeremy puffed out a sigh of relief.

“Rimmy, present.”

“Mogar, present.”

Jeremy’s spine stiffened and he heard the sounds of everyone else becoming alarmed.

“Gavin?” Geoff hissed.

There was a bit of an annoyed grunt as a response that certainly sounded like Gavin.

“J, you’re closest!” Geoff snapped, “Go get him!”

Jeremy carefully dropped the frame and rushed from the room. He ducked around a corner, the sounds of Gavin’s distress hitting like punches in his guts. He peeked in the room Gavin was in to see how many there were. Five. Not good, but not terrible.

Jeremy took a few deep breaths and sprinted into the room. He went straight for the one holding Gavin’s arms, sending them flying with a shoulder check and snapped his foot up into the face of the one about to punch him. Gavin managed to pull himself together and shoved a guard towards Jeremy who front kicked him right back and into Gavin’s fist. 

Another guard grabbed Jeremy’s arm which did little to prevent Jeremy’s boot from smashing into his ribs. He bowed over, wheezing and Jeremy snapped an elbow down on his head while shoving his knee into his face. 

He spun to find Gavin was bleeding, backing away from the last guard. Jeremy saw red as he tore through the short distance and launched into a flying kick. His boot broke their jaw as it landed then nearly disintegrated it when he landed and spun a roundhouse into their face. He spat, wanting to get the feeling of anger and disgust out of him before he turned to Gavin who was staring at him with wide-eyes.

“You..okay?” He asked, trying to catch his breath.

Gavin launched at him, sending him back a step in surprise and smashed their faces together. Jeremy felt like his head was spinning as Gavin mouthed eagerly against his lips. God, he was warm. Hot. Scorching. Jeremy pushed back, shoving him against the wall not three feet from them. He shoved up roughly between Gavin’s legs, grabbing one and pulling it up near his hip to get closer. 

Gavin’s long limbs tangled around him as they kissed. He jumped a bit when Jeremy grabbed his ass roughly and Jeremy let their lips part so he could trail kisses and bites down Gavin’s throat. Gavin’s head hit the wall and he moaned loudly. The sound was so filled with need, so filthy it sent waves of arousal through Jeremy.

“Fuck!” Jeremy hissed against his skin.

“What the actual fuck are you two doing?!” Geoff demanded, “You really think now is the time?!”

They froze, not even breathing for a moment. 

“Uh, oops?” Jeremy offered weakly.

Gavin covered his blushing face as Jeremy pulled his leg off his hip and got him back on his own two feet. 

“How many guards were there?” Geoff questioned, still sounding pissed.

“Five,” Jeremy answered, “Is there a change in plans?”

He made sure Gavin was stable before he walked over to the dropped guards. Didn’t look like anyone was dead. 

“No, stick to the plan,” Geoff muttered, “But we need a cover of some sort or the plan is useless.”

Jeremy hummed thoughtfully, crouching down. He recalled his previous worry about ghosts.

“I think I have an idea,” he said, “But I dunno if it’ll work.”

“Well, no one else has shit,” Geoff pointed out, “So might as well.”

Jeremy grinned.


	11. Chapter 11

Jeremy rubbed his shoulders tiredly as they all piled out of their respective vehicles. Fuck he was sore. He rolled them, wincing. Ryan’s fucking giant ass had essentially destroyed his shoulders. He was lucky there had been an adrenaline rush to save Gavin, otherwise he’d have been useless in that fight. _Speaking of saving Gavin..._

He considered their brief moment of intimacy as he traipsed to the gym. It was just adrenaline, he knew this. But it still felt really wrong. Gavin loved Michael and Jeremy...was doing _something_ with Ryan. He pulled his ice packs from the freezer, humming a bit as he tried to decide exactly what “something” was. He shuffled to the first aid area and pulled out the shoulder ice pack holders. 

He’d made it pretty clear yesterday, didn’t he? He told him to stop trying to make it more than sex. It really wasn’t fair to pin it on him. It’d been Jeremy who’d started wanting things. He strapped the ice packs on and sighed, running a hand over his face. His hands dropped onto the counter in front of him and he stared at the marble. He needed to stop lying to himself.

He hadn’t _started_ wanting things. He’d wanted things before Ryan pushed him against the wall. Long before. Before he’d even been considered for main crew. He’d noticed Ryan long before Ray took his untimely leave. Noticed the guy’s deadly precision, his steadfast bravery, his stubborn refusal to quit. His tall, strong body. Jeremy had _definitely_ noticed his body. 

He looked down at his crotch with a sigh. All he had to do was think about Ryan and he got a boner. Like a fucking Pavlovian response. He needed to get rid of his excess energy. He was still buzzing on adrenaline. He stood up straight and stretched his shoulders a bit. His back was hurting too. All of him was hurting, but he needed to do something. 

Maybe he should see what everyone else was doing. He should probably apologize to Gavin. He found everyone in the dining/kitchen area and was practically dive-tackled by Gavin. He grunted, wincing at the impact on his sore body. He shoved him away with a groan.

“C’mon dude, I’m so sore!” He grunted.

“Why are you sore?” Michael asked, coming around them from the fridge, “I thought you did this shit all the time?”

He shoved a beer in Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy’s eyes darted to Ryan. He couldn’t tell them he had to pull him up.

“I do,” He muttered, “I just don’t usually anchor solely for a person bigger than me. T-taller, I mean.”

He drank from the beer to stop himself from speaking more. 

“It’s okay, you can call Ry fat,” Michael assured him, grinning.

He slung an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders. Jeremy winced again. Why were they always so touchy-feely?! 

“Hey! Now that Lil’ J’s here!” Gavin exclaimed, bouncing towards Geoff.

Jeremy was distracted from what they were saying by Michael squeezing his shoulder tightly. Jeremy grunted in pain as the man leaned close to his ear. Jeremy raised an eyebrow.

“Gavin says you’re a good kisser,” he whispered, “I kinda wanna know if it’s true.”

Jeremy went from skin tone to tomato in an instant. Michael was drunk. And he was a flirty drunk. Jeremy sputtered something and shoved him away. Jesus, Team Nice Dynamite were made for each other. 

“Alright, alright!” Geoff called, standing up, “Jeremy! We want to have a big, sappy moment, so get yourself front and center.”

Jeremy, still red faced, inched closer nervously. Everyone was staring at him and he felt very tiny. Geoff clapped a hand on his shoulder and Jeremy glared as he let out a hiss of pained air. 

“Jeremy welcome, as Fake AH’s official Burglar,” Geoff announced, “As first and probably last of your title, you are hereby granted permission to heist. Congratulations on your promotion.” 

Just as the others started to call congratulations, they were interrupted by the sound of shattering glass. Jeremy flinched as the beer bottle exploded in his hand.

“Fuck!” He hissed, “I did it again, goddamnit!”

“Jesus, kid, you’re a danger to yourself, you know that?” Geoff muttered as he shoved him to the sink, “Is there ever a time you’re not hurting yourself?”

“When I’m too busy hurting others?” Jeremy offered tiredly.

Then he remembered what Geoff said and brightened considerably. He grabbed Geoff, shaking him.

“I can plan a heist, really?!” He cried out.

“Jesus, get off me, kid!” Geoff grunted, “You’re gonna give me whiplash!”

Jeremy stopped shaking him to throw his arms around him and squeeze him tightly.

“You’re my favorite!” He laughed.

He hissed in pain and jerked away. He’d cut himself on the bottle.

“Ah, shit, I’m bleeding,” he muttered, sticking his hand back under the water.

“Kid, you’re a mess,” Geoff teased him, “But that’s sort of Fake AH’s specialty.”

He ruffled Jeremy’s hair who grinned at him.

“I’m a hot mess,” he corrected, winking.

“Your flirting’s bound to get you in trouble, kid,” Geoff laughed, “But you’re pretty good at getting out again.”

“Hey, let’s get the bevs going!” Michael cheered, shoving a new beer in Jeremy’s hand, “Congrats, J!”

He threw his arm around him and clinked their bottles. Jeremy rolled his eyes and turned off the water. He was in for a long night, probably. He blushed as he noticed Michael leaning _way_ too close again. 

“Hey, Lil J, I wanna ask you somethin’,” he slurred in Jeremy’s ear.

“Uh, can you ask when you’re not on top of me?” Jeremy joked nervously.

“What did he feel like?” Michael whispered.

Jeremy’s eyes flicked to Ryan who was looking their way and then to the floor as his face burned. 

“Wh-Who?” He squeaked.

“Who?” Michael grumbled, “Gavin, duh. You touched him, right? He said you did.”

Jeremy covered his eyes and sighed, half from relief, half from frustration. He stood up straight to look at Michael’s face. He was searching Jeremy’s eyes, a look of desperation and pleading in his own. Jeremy ruffled his beanie, skewing it forward.

“Why don’t you find out for yourself?” He suggested quietly, “And stop pretending to be drunk.”

Michael blushed pink and fixed his beanie with a scowl. 

“I...okay,” he mumbled.

He made his way over to where Gavin was hanging off Geoff and Jeremy smiled. _Dorks._

“Finally, Jesus,” Jack grunted.

Jeremy turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

“You ship Mavin?” He teased, taking a sip.

“Hmph, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t,” she muttered.

They watched as Michael and Gavin left the room. 

“Twenty bucks he can’t walk tomorrow,” he wagered.

“Ha! Twenty bucks he bounces out of the room with twice the normal energy,” she countered.

He snorted and shook his head.

“We’ll see, _Your Highness,_ ” he scoffed.

She slugged him in the arm and he grunted.

“Jesus, I’m going to bed,” he muttered, “Everyone keeps hurting me.”

“Ha! Baby!” She teased as he dumped his beer and left the room.

He rolled his shoulders and groaned. He should get fresh ice packs before he went to bed. The rest of him wasn’t too bad, but Jesus his shoulders hurt. He’d take a fucking ice bath if that would actually fucking help. He rubbed his lower back as he pushed into the gym. 

He felt a bit less buzzy now. He was too alert to sleep though, so he was going to have to find something to occupy his mind that didn’t involve more physical strain. He replaced his ice packs and sighed with relief, resisting rolling his shoulders again. 

“Jeremy.”

He jumped at Ryan’s voice in his ear and knocked his knee into the counter.

“Jesus, V, you scared the shit out of me!” He grunted.

Ryan’s hands laid over his hips and Jeremy’s body jolted with electricity. He suddenly recalled Ryan’s earlier promise.

_ After this job, I’m going to fuck you dry while you tell me what you were thinking about. _

Ryan’s hands rubbed up his sides, his fingertips pressing in circles. His thumbs pressed into his back, rubbing gently upwards. Jeremy felt some of his tension ease.

“R-Ry? What’re y-“

“Quiet.”

Jeremy gripped the edge of the counter with one hand as Ryan’s hands moved to his back. He kneaded Jeremy’s muscles like his job was to give massages instead of death. Jeremys body began to relax a bit as his aches started to recede. Eventually Ryan detached the ice packs and rubbed his shoulders and Jeremy swayed.

“Fuck, that feels good,” He groaned, “Where the hell-never mind. I don’t want to know. God your hands are like heaven. Not just this like every time you touch me. It’s like I’m in another plane of existence. It’s not fair, you feel so amazing. Why are y-“

“J-Jeremy!” Ryan interrupted, breathless, “Sh-shut up!”

Jeremy’s eyes opened and he blushed furiously. 

“S-sorry,” he mumbled, “I didn’t mean to ramble. It just felt good. Like really-“

Ryan’s hand covered his mouth. 

“F-fuck!” He hissed, “St-stop talking!”

He was breathing hard. Why was he winded? Jeremy’s eyes went wide and he pushed back. Ryan groaned as Jeremy’s ass pushed against his boner. His hands slammed down on the counter on either side of Jeremy who couldn’t help the devious grin that spread across his face.

“What’s wrong, Ry?” He called sweetly, “Don’t you like hearing how good you make me feel? Don’t you want to know how skilled you are?”

Ryan grunted as Jeremy rubbed his ass against him again.

“But I want to tell you,” Jeremy whined, “I feel so good when you touch me, like there’s electricity in my veins. Like your hands know my body, know just where to touch.”

“J-Jeremy,” Ryan groaned, voice rough.

Jeremy turned to face him with only mild difficulty and he hopped up on the counter. Ryan watched him with a strained, desperate sort of look on his face. Jeremy wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, pulling him close. He pressed a kiss near his ear.

“Don’t you want to know what you do to me, baby?” He whispered, “Don’t you want to know how my body craves yours? Don’t you want me to tell you what you feel like against me?”

“Y-Yes!” Ryan moaned, his body pressing closer, “J-Jeremy, I-“

“Shh! It’s my turn to talk, sweetie,” Jeremy interrupted.

Ryan shuddered. Jeremy trailed one hand down his torso to his belt.

“It feels like you’re burning me,” He whispered, “Like your hands are on fire, setting my nerve endings alight.”

Jeremy pulled open Ryan’s jeans and pulled his cock free, wrapping his hand around him while Ryan moaned in his ear.

“It feels like you were built for this,” he continued, breathless, “Like you were made for pleasure. Every part of you that touches me is like a gift.”

Jeremy lifted his hand to Ryan’s mouth.

“Bless me with your pretty tongue, baby,” he purred.

Ryan licked his hand like it was something sweet and Jeremy returned it to his cock.

“Your tongue is like velvet,” he groaned, “Like soft velvet on my rough skin. Is my skin even worthy?”

“Y-Yes!” Ryan choked out.

Jeremy rewarded him by thumbing over the head of his cock, swiping through the pre-cum building there.

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” Jeremy cooed, “Even your words know how to please me.”

His grip tightened and he sped up.

“Do you want to know how it feels when you’re inside me?” He whispered, his voice low.

“Y-Yes! Pl-please! J-Jeremy!”

Ryan’s broken, needy voice sent shivers through Jeremy.

“Shh! I’ll tell you,” Jeremy assured him, “It feels so full and hot, like your cock is big enough to ruin me. Like you could split me open. I wish I could live with you inside me, filling me up, stretching me out, breaking me apart. The way you fit, it’s like my ass was always meant for your cock. No one else could ever feel as good as you do. Every part of me needs you, every part of me craves the way you fill me up, the way you fuck me. My body’s ruined now. Only _you_ can please me.”

Jeremy shivered at the way Ryan called his name as he came. He slumped forward, head dropping to Jeremy’s shoulder. Jeremy smiled softly and gently took Ryan’s tissues from his pocket to clean him up. Ryan mumbled something in his shoulder.

“Hm? I can’t hear you,” Jeremy answered.

Ryan lifted his head.

“I said I was trying really hard not to do this,” he muttered, “Your body was so sore from the job.”

“You helped a lot with that though,” Jeremy assured him, “Really, you’re very good at massages.”

“Don’t pad my ego,” Ryan grumbled, standing up, “I think this is pretty clear evidence I don’t need a bigger head.”

He gestured down at his softening dick.

“Yeah, definitely not,” Jeremy agreed, “Then it’d never fit.”

He grinned at Ryan who shook his head and rubbed a hand down his face.

“You’re something else,” he muttered.

“So I’ve heard,” Jeremy laughed, “You have jizz on your shirt.”

He pointed, Ryan looked down, and he flicked his finger up, knocking his nose. Ryan stared at him, exasperated and Jeremy just laughed. 

“Okay, your turn,” Ryan grumbled, moving his hands to Jeremy’s pants.

Jeremy shoved them away.

“Please no,” he pleaded, “My muscles are already going to be sore.”

Ryan frowned at him, but then his face went guarded again. 

“Congrats, by the way,” he muttered, looking away, “You’re a lord now, title and everything.”

“Thank you!” Jeremy exclaimed, “I’m really excited about it.”

“Yeah, it’s good,” Ryan agreed, “I’m glad for you. And, uh...”

He hesitated, struggling to stay guarded.

“Thank you,” he finally mumbled, “For pulling me up. And for not telling the others.”

Jeremy took hold of his face, making him look him in the eye.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, “But we’re partners in crime. You don’t have to thank me every time.”

A small smile crossed Ryan’s face and Jeremy really wanted to kiss him. Instead, he gestured him away and hopped down from the counter. 

“I can’t wait to plan a heist,” he laughed as he got the shoulder packs reattached, “So many possibilities!”

Ryan laughed lightly and they exited the gym to head to bed. 

“See ya tomorrow, V!” Jeremy called over his shoulder as he passed over the threshold of his room.

“See ya, Rimmy.”

Jeremy’s smile was gone as soon as the door closed. He sighed as he fell into bed. He was never going to be Jeremy outside of the sex, was he? He stared at the wall, trying to forget Ryan’s moans for hours before he fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Jeremy groaned as he rolled out of bed. He was so fucking sore. He just wanted to stay in bed all day. But he actually had something to do that day. Coffee, coffee was what he needed. He shuffled to the gym to put away his ice packs before going to the kitchen.

He found Gavin there, looking particularly sunny as he made some tea. _Ah, shit._ Jeremy lost the bet. He pulled his mug from the cabinet and started the Kuerig before greeting his failed wager.

“Hey, Gav,” He grumbled, “How you feelin’? Sore?”

Gavin opened his mouth to answer, but stopped and looked at Jeremy with a frown.

“Sore? Why would I be sore?” He questioned.

Jeremy blushed a bit, deciding he wasn’t sure if he was cool with this conversation. Had he assumed too much??

“Ah, I thought you and Michael were...” he muttered nervously.

Gavin blushed crimson and covered his face.

“We...we did it!!” He cried, “We actually did it!!”

Jeremy squinted at him. So they had. Was Michael not that forceful? He’d kinda assumed he’d be a bit dominant. Hm, maybe he should stop assuming things about other people’s sex lives. _Especially when your own is in shambles,_ he thought bitterly.

“Jeremy!” Gavin exclaimed, grabbing his arm, “It was amazing!!”

Jeremy considered knocking himself out or inventing time travel so he could reverse his decision to start this conversation.

“Th-that’s great, Gav,” he mumbled, “Very happy for you.”

“I mean it was just like with a girl,” Gavin said thoughtfully, “But tighter.”

Jeremy’s entire body went red.

“G-Gavin!” He choked, “You topped?!”

Gavin frowned at him.

“What does that mean?” He asked.

Jeremy had to stop himself from dropping to the floor.

“You...Gavin, are you an idiot?” He grunted, “Topping means you put your dick in him."

_Swallow me up, ground, I can’t do this any more._

“Oh! Yes!” Gavin answered, “But why? He was the one on top.”

Jeremy wanted to die. He covered his face with both hands. Michael was a fucking power bottom. Jesus fucking Christ, this was not what he wanted to wake up to.

“Hey, guys!” Jack called, “Hi there, Gavin, you’re looking _energized.”_

Jeremy threw her a dark look that she just smirked at.

“Looks like someone owes me twenty bucks,” she pointed out smugly.

“What? What for?” Gavin demanded, “I haven’t bet on anything!”

“Not you, dumbass,” Jeremy muttered bitterly.

He pushed him away to get his finished coffee. He paused as he reached for it and then suddenly whipped around, grabbing Gavin by the biceps. Gavin jumped a bit in surprise.

“Gavin, where is Michael?!” He demanded.

Gavin blushed again.

“H-he’s in my room,” he mumbled, “He said he couldn’t walk.”

Jeremy whirled around on Jack.

“Ha! Fuck you, Jack!” Jeremy cried triumphantly, “Michael bottomed and he can’t walk! _You_ owe _me!”_

“What?!” Jack shouted, “Michael bottomed?!”

“Oh, like the opposite of top!” Gavin piped up, “I get it now.”

Jeremy wanted to punch himself. No, first Gavin then himself.

“So cough it up!” Jeremy demanded, holding out his hand.

“No way!” Jack protested, crossing her arms, “We were obviously talking about Gavin! And he’s here, bouncing around the room like a pinball!”

“But we never _said_ Gavin!” Jeremy pointed out, “It was the implied bottom in our wager, so I won!”

“Wait, you guys placed a bet on me and Micool?” Gavin chimed in.

“Yeah, Jeremy said you wouldn’t be able to walk today,” Jack explained, “And I said you’d have twice the energy.”

“We never said _you_ though!” Jeremy added, “We never said names.”

“So you both lost,” Gavin answered, “Or both won, I guess?”

They glared at him and he put up his hands.

“The “bottom” can’t walk,” he explained, “So Jeremy was right. But I’m also twice as energetic today, so Jack was also right.”

Their eyes narrowed at him and he shook his head.

“I’m just sayin’!” He grumbled, turning away, “So grouchy in the mornings!”

Jeremy and Jack glared at each other a bit, but decided he was right and sighed. 

“Well, no harm, I guess,” he muttered as he retrieved his coffee, “I don’t know if I need this any more though. Learning Michael’s a bottom has me fully awake.”

He went and sat at the counter and Jack mumbled her agreement.

“Does it really matter?” Gavin asked, leaning against the counter.

“Not really,” Jeremy admitted, “You just expect certain personalities to take on certain roles, I guess. Stronger, more aggressive guys are usually pinned as tops.”

“So then Lil’ J’s a top,” Gavin said thoughtfully, “Are you?”

“Yes.”

Jack sputtered from where she was drinking coffee. Jeremy suddenly felt a chill go up his spine. _He’s right behind me, isn’t he?_

“Hey, Ry!” Gavin confirmed for him, “Lil’ J’s teaching me about tops and bottoms! You’d be a top, right? Are you a top, Ry?”

Jeremy wanted to die again.

“Yes.”

He was surprised Ryan even bothered to answer.

“So then Lil J and Ry couldn’t have sex?” Gavin reasoned.

Jeremy still wanted to die.

“N-not necessarily,” he muttered, hiding behind the mug.

“But if you’re both tops-“

“G-Gavin!” He interrupted, “You should just google your questions. While I drown in my regrets and embarrassment.”

He dropped his head to the counter.

“Thus far?” He mumbled, “Worst day ever.”

“Oh and you have shit to do,” Jack piped up cheerfully.

He lifted his head to glare at her.

“You’re an asshole,” he informed her, “Trust me, I know. I’d have stayed in bed if I could’ve.”

He sighed and picked up his mug. He noticed a chip in the edge of it. When-? Oh, right. He’d shattered the thing while being bitchy about Ryan. Someone had fixed it.

“Who fixed my mug?” He asked, looking at Gavin.

“Not me,” he denied, “Ry said something about gluing it.”

Ryan shot Gavin a piercing death glare over his shoulder.

“Thanks, V!” Jeremy called, brightening up, “It’s my favorite mug!”

“No problem,” Ryan muttered, not looking back.

Jeremy smiled softly. He could be so sweet sometimes. _What a fucking dork._

“J, you got little time,” Jack reminded him.

He threw her a frown, but smiled back at the mug and drank deeply. He checked his watch and winced. He brought his coffee with him as he scurried off to his room.

~

“Rimmy,” the man greeted, standing.

Jeremy smiled and shook his hand before they sat. 

“Mr. Luther, I’m-“

“Please, call me Mark,” the man insisted.

“Of course,” Jeremy answered, “Mark, I’m delighted to be in your company once again. Thank you for having me.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Luther assured him, “I was ecstatic to hear from you.”

Jeremy felt sick to his stomach suddenly. The guy was very obviously checking him out. His eyes were practically locked on Jeremy’s lips. When Geoff said the guy wanted to talk to him specifically and to be charming, he had been stupidly unaware that the guy wanted to fuck him. Had Geoff specified this? Had Geoff known? _Whatever._

“Well, my boss is very keen on making a deal with you,” Jeremy said, smiling bashfully, “And I...thought perhaps I would be a friendly face?”

“Your face is certainly lovely to look at,” Luther quipped, grinning.

Jeremy batted his eyelashes and smiled sweetly. The meeting went smoothly, though it ended up more like a date. Despite the lingering looks and the grabbiness of the man, Jeremy sealed the deal and took Luther’s business card. As they stood outside saying goodbye, Luther grabbed him and shoved a hard kiss on his mouth.

Jeremy refused the offered ride and the implication behind the offer. He had to insist, several times, that he had more work before the guy got in his car. Jeremy waved him off, his guts churning. _Ick._ He turned into the alley next to the restaurant and promptly upchucked the expensive breakfast. He crumpled the business card and dropped it in the puddle. 

_What a creep._ He needed to do something to get the guy’s hungry eyes out of his head and his grabby hands off him. He slammed a fist into the dumpster he’d thrown up next to, but that wasn’t enough. He pulled out his phone and hesitated. Was it better to booty call Ryan or get into a fight?

_Hey, you busy?_

Ryan’s dick shot up as he read the message. Jeremy wanted to fuck. _Shit._ He needed to finish this interrogation now. He glanced at the person spitting blood.

_Give me 15 minutes._

Jeremy sighed, disappointed. He didn’t want to be a bother.

_No, it’s fine. I was just going to Flagon and wanted to know if you’d DD. I just won’t drink too much._

Ryan scowled at the message. His fist slammed into the guy’s face as he typed a response.

_It’s 10am. Why do you want to drink this early?_

Jeremy hissed his annoyance with himself. He forgot it was still morning.

_I’m just going to see Matt. Sometimes I drink a bunch when I talk to him._

Ryan’s fist knocked loose a tooth as he read the message. _Who the hell is Matt?!_ He quickly switched to messaging Gavin.

_Who is Matt at the Flagon?_

Gavin paused mid-brushing his teeth, raising an eyebrow. 

_Bragg? That’s the owner. One of Lil J’s besties._

Ryan’s knife was pressed into the guy’s cheek as he frowned at the message. _Bestie?_ Jeremy had a best friend other than Gavin? He switched back to texting him.

_It’s no problem. I’m almost done._

Jeremy handed a hundred to the cab driver and rolled his eyes as he slipped out.

_I’ll let you know when I’m done if I still need a ride._

Ryan’s hand jerked as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. He growled as his knife flicked the guy’s blood on his jacket.

“You are keeping me from more enjoyable activities,” he snarled in the guy’s face, “You better start talking because _now_ I’m mad.”

The man cowered and quickly sang out the information. More information than expected. _Way_ more. _Shit, he’s been too useful now I have to call Geoff. Fucking damnit!_


	13. Chapter 13

Jeremy ducked, dodging the wild, uncoordinated grab the guy went for and slammed his fist in the guy’s guts. He hunched over and Jeremy kneed his face to send him back up. Then he knocked him out with a punch to the temple. He sighed, rubbing his shoulder as he looked over the five thugs he’d knocked out. He really needed to stop overworking his muscles. They were sore enough as it was. 

He spat blood and started patting them down, looking for wallets. Only five hundred between them? Hardly worth it. One of them had a pretty six-shooter though. He twirled it in his hand and aimed down the alleyway. Yup, this was his now. He took the holster and the guy’s spare ammo. Maybe he’d head over to the shooting range.

He dropped back into the Flagon to pass over the five hundred to Matt as apology. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jeremy just shrugged tiredly and fist bumped him before leaving. He headed home, feeling exhausted despite it not even being noon yet.

~

Ryan was fucking tired and mad. By the time they’d handled all the new information and taken care of everything, it was approaching midnight. Turned out the guy had been double, triple, quadruple-crossing to the point even he wasn’t sure who his real loyalties laid with. Geoff had to gather representatives from five other gangs and track down the few peons working for the guy. Really, it was a miracle it only took until midnight. 

Jeremy was awake in the living room when they got back. Ryan wasn’t sure if he’d been waiting for him or just restless or what. What he did know was that he’d just spent all day tracking, beating, and slashing through Los Santos and he wanted what was his. 

So he carefully took Jeremy’s hand and led him to his bedroom in a calm, rational manner. As long as “careful” and “calm” applied to him seizing Jeremy’s forearm in a bruising grip and nearly fully dragging him to his bedroom where he promptly shoved him on the bed. He yanked at Jeremy’s clothing, huffing annoyed breaths as he tried to unwrap his prize. 

“No more clothes for you!” He grumbled, “You stay in my bed naked from now on!”

Jeremy went a bit pink and chuckled. He helped Ryan get the rest of his clothes off which were tossed over Ryan’s shoulder haphazardly. Ryan’s hands ran up his bare skin, squeezing and feeling. Jeremy shuddered under him, his breathing going ragged as Ryan manhandled him. 

There was lube in one of Ryan’s hands suddenly and he shoved it to Jeremy. _His hands are shaking._ Jeremy flushed bright red as he loosened himself under Ryan’s intense gaze. The man moved Jeremy’s legs, spreading them wider and pushing them up to watch, impatiently groping at his thighs. _He wants me, bad._ Jeremy was breathless, shivering under Ryan’s hungry gaze. 

“Hurry up,” he growled.

He bent down and bit harshly on Jeremy’s inner thigh, causing him to jolt with a gasp. He bit down his thigh, leaving bruises and outlines of his teeth. Jeremy did his best to focus on fingering himself, but that’s hard when a beautiful bastard is between your legs, marking up your thighs. _Staking claim, marking his property,_ Jeremy thought, shivering and gasping.

“R-Ry! I’m ready, I’m ready! Please!” He whimpered.

Ryan was up and smacking away Jeremy’s hand in an instant. His black-framed eyes locked on where they connected as he pushed inside Jeremy. Jeremy reached for him, grabbing at his shirt to pull him closer faster. Ryan leaned over him, pushing fully inside before pressing tiny, fluttery kisses all over Jeremy’s neck and throat. 

“You can move,” Jeremy muttered, “Please move!”

Ryan reared back and slammed into him, lifting up to get a better angle to fuck into him. His hands squeezed his bruised thighs, running over the marks he’d put there. Jeremy did his best to meet his brutal thrusts, even knowing their hips were going to be sore as hell afterwards. Ryan braced himself, palms on either side of Jeremy’s head and rutted into him, his movements jerky and desperate.

“Mine, mine, mine,” he whispered under his breath, repeating it over and over.

Jeremy moaned, tightening his grip on Ryan’s biceps. One of said biceps moved as Ryan reached down to jerk him off. He was still whispering “mine” over and over until Jeremy came with him mere seconds behind him. Jeremy cleaned up this time as Ryan tipped to the side and promptly fell asleep. 

“Must have had a rough day,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan’s hair had partly fallen from the tie and Jeremy tucked it behind his ear. A warm fondness filled his chest as he started to fall asleep. He brushed his knuckles over Ryan’s stubble with a smile.

“Mine,” he agreed in a whisper.

~

“Geoff can I talk to you a sec?” Jeremy called into Geoff’s office.

Geoff waved him in, not looking up from what he was doing. He held up a finger as Jeremy sat, so Jeremy waited patiently. Finally Geoff looked up, grabbing his coffee to sip. He looked tired. Maybe Jeremy shouldn’t bother him about this.

“I can tell by your face,” Geoff commented, “That you’re already backing down because you think you’re bothering me.”

Jeremy ducked his head, going pink.

“It’s just...not a big deal,” he mumbled, “Yesterday, I went to meet with a contact.”

“Right, Mark Luther,” Geoff recalled, “The deal go bad?”

“No, no, it went fine,” Jeremy quickly assured him, “But, uh...he made me feel a bit, um... uncomfortable.”

Geoff sat up straight with a scowl.

“Did he do something to you?” He demanded, “Because I will not allow harassment, regardless of who they are.”

Jeremy felt simultaneously relieved and more nervous to hear it.

“Not exactly,” he explained, “But I was just wondering, from now on can someone go with me to see him?”

Geoff squinted at him suspiciously.

“Jeremy, if he did something,” Geoff started, tone gentle, “Then I don’t want to deal with him at all. I’ve built a reputation as a good crime boss because I actually give a shit about the people I work with. If he did something to you, then he may do something to someone else or he might have already.”

Jeremy rubbed his arm nervously.

“He, um, was very grabby,” he muttered, “And he kissed me.”

Geoff scowled again.

“Very well,” he answered, “Then he’s going to be getting a visit. I’m sure Ryan would be delighted to teach him to keep his hands to himself.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Um, d-don’t tell him, please!” Jeremy begged, “I-I don’t want him to know.”

Geoff’s scowl smoothed into a gentle smile.

“It’s alright, J,” he assured him, “I won’t tell him the specifics. I’ll just give him the general idea.”

Jeremy relaxed visibly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “It-it was my first full deal closing.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Geoff insisted, “It’s not your fault the guy is a fucking creep. I’m impressed you managed to get the deal anyway, you’ve done an excellent job. But if it ever happens again, you have full authority to shut down the deal.”

Jeremy brightened up significantly and Geoff grinned. 

“Actually!” He called cheerfully, “I have a job if you’d like. We’re trying to track down someone similar to you.”

Jeremy frowned. _Similar to me?_ Geoff pulled a file from a stack and handed it over.

“An acrobatic burglar,” Geoff explained, “He’s been nabbing stock from us, but he always disappears up a building before we can catch him. Gavin can send you the e files and Ryan is working point. You’re better than this guy, so hopefully it won’t be too difficult.”

Jeremy glowed from the praise, smiling brightly with a blush. 

“You should take today off physically though,” Geoff scolded, “You’re still sore from the thriller heist and I heard you got in a fight yesterday.”

Jeremy ducked his head sheepishly.

“Yes, sir,” he mumbled.

Geoff stood up and came around the desk. He ruffled Jeremy’s hair and smiled at him.

“You’re valuable to us,” Geoff spoke softly, “Not because of your skills, not because you make us money, not because of what you can do for us. We value you because you make us happy, we enjoy having you around, we love you.”

He ruffled Jeremy’s hair again as the kid sniffled. Geoff braced himself a second before Jeremy launched into his stomach and still stumbled. 

“Thank you!” He cried against Geoff’s suit, “I love all of you too!”

Geoff pat his head with a soft smile. _Puppy._ A knock came at the door and Ryan poked his head in. He looked like he was backing away, but Jeremy sat back up and waved at him.

“Heya, V!” He greeted cheerfully, “We’re gonna work together as detectives!”

A tiny smile appeared on Ryan’s face and his blue eyes softened into a gentle expression. _Oh._ Geoff hadn’t seen that look for awhile. He glanced at the kid as Ryan came in the room. _That’s why he doesn’t want Ry to know. Oh boy._

~

“I-I have a deal with your boss!”

Ryan almost rolled his eyes. 

“Who do you think sent me?” He asked coolly, “I always work on behalf of my King like any good knight does.”

He flipped the knife in his hand and hummed thoughtfully.

“Th-this is a mistake!” The guy cried, “I d-didn’t do anything!”

Ryan made the knife disappear and picked the mallet up off the table. He spun it in his palm while the guy begged to be let go. To be spared his life. 

“I’m not going to kill you,” Ryan assured him, “I’m going to teach you to keep your hands to yourself.”

The guy paused, looking confused.

“Wh-What the hell are you talking about??” He demanded.

_One of these assholes,_ Ryan thought bitterly. He stepped closer, resting the mallet on the guy’s tied hand.

“You put your hands on someone without their consent, sir,” he explained in a low, cold tone, “Fake AH does not consider sexual harassment a minor offense, especially when one of our employees is the victim.”

The guy’s face went from confused to furious.

“That’s what that little shit told you?!” He shouted, “That it was harassment?! He was into it!”

Ryan’s hand moved so quick even he didn’t have time to register it before the mallet smashed the guy’s pinky. He growled in pain as Ryan pressed the mallet against the broken finger.

“Just because someone’s nice, doesn’t mean they want to fuck you, moron. Obviously he was just doing his job.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” The guy snapped, though his voice was strained with pain, “That little midget was acting all sweet and shy, fluttering his eyelashes. He was-“

He was interrupted by Ryan smashing the mallet into his jaw. 

“Rimmy Tim, that’s who you’re talking about, isn’t it?!” He snarled.

The guy grunted around his injured jaw something that sounded like “yes”. Ryan saw red. The guy screamed as Ryan smashed his hands into unrecognizable piles of bone and flesh. After they could no longer be identified as hands he leaned in, mask almost touching the man’s face.

“Don’t touch what doesn’t belong to you,” he growled, “Or your head will be the next target.”

Crushing guilt weighed on him as he stormed from the building. Not only had he not been there when Jeremy needed him, he’d immediately fucked him the next time he saw him. _Jesus Christ, I’m the worst._


	14. Chapter 14

Ryan’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he waited for Jeremy to return. He was trying to find a way to tell him he’d accidentally found out about Mr. Grabby. He didn’t want to pretend he didn’t know, because he wanted to apologize for not being there. And it felt like lying to keep quiet. They had the whole night to stake out though, so he worried they’d be in for an awkward night. 

“V, grab this,” Jeremy ordered through the open window.

Ryan took the offered drink and stuck it in the cup holder. Then he took the second one and Jeremy jogged around to his side of the car. He slid into his seat with about as much grace as Gavin and opened the bag immediately.

“I’m starving, dude,” he muttered, pulling out food, “What were you thinking about?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him.

“You looked thousands of miles away,” Jeremy explained, “Like you were thinking very deeply about something.” 

Ryan sighed. _This is why I wear that god awful mask._ He looked out the windshield, drumming his fingers.

“Your contact,” he muttered, “I was told to teach him to keep his hands to himself.”

Jeremy stiffened, proving further that he _really_ didn’t want Ryan to know.

“He called his victim a midget who was sweet and shy,” Ryan continued, “And kept fluttering his eyelashes at him.”

Jeremy sighed heavily.

“I guess that’s me,” he joked, dryly.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan apologized, “You didn’t want me to know, but I confirmed it with him without thinking.”

“It’s okay,” Jeremy assured him, “Honestly, I was just worried you’d kill him if you found out he touched and kissed me.”

Ryan’s head whipped around.

“He did what?!” He demanded.

Jeremy scowled at him.

“Wasn’t that the whole reason you were supposed to teach him a lesson?” He asked, confused, “Because he touched me?”

“Yes, it was!” Ryan answered, tone angry, “But no one fucking said he _kissed_ you!”

Jeremy threw him an annoyed look.

“So?” He grunted.

“So?!” Ryan repeated back, “So he-he claimed what isn’t his!”

Ryan winced. _That came out wrong._ Jeremy’s eyes went from annoyed to angry.

“Really?!” He shouted, “ _That’s_ what you’re mad about?! I got sexually assaulted and you’re worried about another man marking your territory?!”

“N-no, that’s n-“

“Shut the fuck up, Ryan!” Jeremy snapped, “Your possessiveness is fucking pissing me off! This is why I didn’t want to fucking tell you shit!”

“That came out wrong!” Ryan argued, “I-I didn’t mean-I wasn’t trying-!”

He interrupted himself with an annoyed grunt. He took a calming breath.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I just meant...you’re valuable...him taking something from you matters.”

Jeremy snorted and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. _Valuable._ Again with that fucking word. 

“As if he’s the only one taking from me,” he muttered darkly, “Maybe you should reevaluate your own shit before you-“

He was interrupted by movement.

“Oh, shit!” He hissed, “There they are!”

A small figure was creeping out of the warehouse via a window. 

“Still no gear?” Ryan mumbled, “How’s he crawling down the warehouse? All he has is a backpack.”

“Fuckin Spider-Man.”

Jeremy squinted, trying to see better in the darkness. Ryan passed him the night vision scope and Jeremy focused in on the guy’s hands.

“He does have gear,” he whispered, surprised, “His gloves and it looks like knee pads are some form of gripping.”

“What like a suction cup?” Ryan scoffed.

“Not exactly...”

He paused as he watched the guy land. He didn’t bother looking around before running off to the east. Jeremy pulled himself out of the window and followed after him. Ryan made a tiny noise of protest as Jeremy slipped between buildings after the guy. He hesitated to follow. He was stealthy, sure, but this was still technically Jeremy’s expertise. 

Jeremy hit a dead end and looked up at the roofs of the buildings closing off this alleyway. He couldn’t see him anywhere. Shit, he was a quick one. That gear he had... Jeremy jumped up onto the nearest roof to look out with the scope. He couldn’t see anyone. Some birds were the only movement he caught. He jumped back down with a sigh. What was it Geoff said? 

_You’re better than this guy._

“Rimmy?”

Jeremy jumped in surprise. 

“Fucking hell, V,” he muttered, clutching his chest, “Again with the ninja shit. I lost him. We have a lead now though.”

He turned and lead the way back out.

“The gripping gear?” Ryan guessed.

“Yep! That shit is still mostly prototype right now,” Jeremy explained, “If anyone has a full working product, everyone will know about it.”

_But why haven’t I heard anything?_ Jeremy wondered. Usually when there’s little chat about something in the thieving community, it’s not good news. Not for Jeremy anyway.

~

“Roll over there,” Gavin ordered.

Jeremy rolled over to the other computer station. 

“You know, you could just sit in your chair,” he muttered.

“No, you’re a great cushion,” Gavin dismissed, “My ass gets sore from sitting here all day.”

“Poor baby,” Jeremy teased, “So anything?”

“I got a bit of buzz about a vid,” Gavin mumbled distractedly, “I’m tracing it now.”

“A video?” Jeremy asked, peeking around Gavin.

“Yep!” Gavin chirped, “But I have to find the-Ah, ha!”

Jeremy winced as Gavin bounced on his lap. 

“Goddamn your bony ass, Gav,” he grumbled, “Let me see.”

Gavin shifted sideways and played the video. 

“Okay, here’s the fucking Spider-Man,” a gruff voice spoke, “I caught this a few days ago.”

Jeremy recognized the lithe form crawling up the building. The camera zoomed to the gloves and froze. Jeremy sat forward a bit, holding onto Gavin to make sure he didn’t push him off his lap. _Again._

“So far, I’ve heard of about a dozen confirmed sightings,” the gruff voice spoke again, “At first I thought he must be a beta tester, but he climbed about a fourth of Corner.”

Jeremy whistled, eyes wide. _180ft is not a height you climb with a prototype._ The video shifted and showed a rough blueprint of the gloves and pads, labels popping up all over it. 

“So far, we got pretty much shit,” the voice muttered, “Except that he’s most likely supplied by the Observatory, based on the style.”

Jeremy’s insides squeezed. He’d really hoped he was wrong about that gut feeling. That also explained why no one was talking about it. _Damnit._ Now he had to-

“Lil J!!” Gavin wheezed, “Leggo!!”

Jeremy released his arms where they’d snapped into a vice grip around Gavin’s middle.

“Shit, sorry!” He sputtered, “Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine,” Gavin huffed, “But cushions don’t squeeze, Lil J!”

Jeremy laughed tiredly and leaned back in the chair, covering his face. Gavin shifted to grab his shoulders and bounce on him some more.

“I did it!” He cried happily, “So you gotta cough it up!”

Jeremy dropped his hands to give him an exasperated look.

“I will drop kick your bony ass,” he muttered, “Do we have to go _now_?”

“Yep! Yep! Yep!” Gavin bounced excitedly. 

Jeremy considered drop kicking him anyway. The door on Gavin’s office opened and Michael’s head poked through.

“Oh, hey, J, Ryan’s looking for you,” He called, “Gavin, we’re going for Burn’s. You coming?”

“But Lil J was gonna give me a prize!” Gavin whined.

Geoff’s head poked through behind Michael’s.

“That’s an interesting position to say those words in,” he commented, trying and failing to stifle laughter.

Gavin blushed and clambered off Jeremy’s lap. Jeremy laughed, even though he was also a bit pink. They made their way to the door right as Jack also popped her head in.

“What’s taking so long?!” She demanded, “I’m so fucking hungry right now.”

“Oh, are we all going?” Gavin asked cheerfully, grabbing Jeremy’s arm.

Jeremy peeled him off of him and shoved him to Michael to take over care of the sticky parasite.

“Nope, I got a lead I need to follow,” he muttered, “Eat extra for me so you puke all over the parking lot. _Again.”_

“One time!” Gavin grumbled, “One time and you never hear the end of it.”

The five of them talked and joked as they made for the garage. Jeremy waved them off before turning to decide what vehicle to take. He came face-to-face with Ryan. Or rather face-to-chest. He stumbled back a step with a very non-girly squeak.

“Jesus, V!” He gasped, “Why do you do this?! My fuckin heart!”

“You have a lead,” Ryan commented.

“Michael said you were looking for me,” Jeremy countered.

“It can wait,” Ryan dismissed, “What’s the lead?”

Jeremy hesitated. He hadn’t planned on taking Ryan with him to the Observatory. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse to take him. 

“You, uh, you a fan of Astronomy?” He laughed nervously.

“Yes.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. Wow, he had not expected a serious answer like that. Nor did he expect it to be a positive one.

“Well, you’re in luck,” he informed, “I’m taking you to an observatory. Best date ever, right?”

He flashed Ryan a crazy grin as he retrieved the keys to the FMJ.


	15. Chapter 15

“You just gotta stand there and look scary, okay?” Jeremy mumbled, “That’s your special skill, right?”

Ryan laughed and warmth spread over Jeremy, relaxing his frayed nerves. He puffed out a breath and got out of the car. Ryan followed, but made sure to stay behind him. Jeremy stopped a few feet from the car and waited. 

Ryan’s eyes darted all over the place, looking for threats. He was surprised when Jeremy said they were going to an observatory. The grounds were clean and well taken care of. A large fountain sat in the middle with sidewalks converging around it. The observatory itself has an older architectural style, sort of reminding Ryan of an old library. Then of course there was the huge glass dome that sparkled in the moonlight. The place was beautiful. _Perfect date,_ Ryan thought with a soft smile. He felt like an idiot teenager.

“Well, well,” a cold voice called to them, “Look who’s washed up on our shores. The man, the myth, the legend.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, this happened to him a lot. People who thought they were in control of him liked to taunt him. The cold voice’s owner approached them, hood covering their face.

“So Rimmy Tim, what’s brought such a celebrity to my door?” The person questioned. 

_Oh, not me. Jeremy. Interesting._ Jeremy’s shoulders were tensed up.

“Fake AH is being stolen from,” he explained, “By someone we believe may be an Observer.”

“And has this man broken Observatory code?” 

Ryan noted the way Jeremy’s fist clenched.

“No, but you already knew that,” he answered, cool and calm, “I never said it was a man. Thank you for confirming that our thief is an Observer.”

The guy made a grunt of annoyance.

“I see your mouth is as good as ever,” he commented tightly, “So you wish to make a deal for the goods then?”

Ryan wasn’t sure he liked the mouth comment.

“Yes, we’d like our product back,” Jeremy agreed.

“And what is your offer?”  The man questioned, sounding smug, “It better be a good one, Tim. We won’t hand it over just because of our history.”

Ryan suddenly had the urge to kill him. _History?!_

“I wouldn’t expect it, _brother_ ,” Jeremy gritted out.

“Hmph, I don’t think you get to call me that,” the man sneered, “Your leashed attack dog here is more your brother now.”

_Fucking rude._

“He’s not an attack dog,” Jeremy growled, “He’s a highly trained assassin who, for whatever reason, likes to listen to what I ask of him, _sometimes_. Other times he rips mouthy little shits limb from limb.”

Ryan did _not_ get a boner. If he didn’t acknowledge it, it didn’t exist. The guy seemed annoyed, but sufficiently intimidated. He led them inside the observatory, through some hallways and into an elevator. Ryan memorized the map absentmindedly, keeping his eyes on Jeremy. _Damn._ He liked Jeremy being the boss. He _really_ liked it. 

They entered a gym after a short moment. A couple dozen people milled about, using equipment and talking amongst themselves. They were like Jeremy, acrobats and gymnasts. They all at least glanced at the three of them entering the place. Some openly stared at them, but Ryan didn’t exactly blame them. They were an odd trio. 

“Stay here,” the guy grunted, “Don’t touch shit.”

Ryan rolled his eyes as the man jogged off. Jeremy’s body looked tense, but he was exuding an aura of calm danger. _History._ Jeremy trained here and it didn’t end well, apparently. Jeremy gestured at him to lean down, he did so, putting his ear next to the shorter man’s mouth. 

“Two o’clock,” he breathed, “That’s our man.”

Ryan’s eyes darted over and recognized the one in question climbing a rope. _No gripping gear._ Ryan nodded curtly.

“He’s an amateur,” Jeremy muttered, “Why does _he_ use the gear?”

Ryan hummed thoughtfully as the guy from before rejoined them, toting a new person with him. He stood up straight again as they stopped in front of them.

“Rimmy Tim,” they greeted stiffly, “I didn’t expect you to be back here.”

Jeremy resisted the instinctive urge to bow to his teacher. She seemed to notice, but her face was as guarded as Ryan’s. 

“Ma’am,” he returned, “It’s good to see you again.”

“You are here to deal for the goods,” she stated, “We will hand them over for only one thing: A contract.”

Jeremy’s guts twisted. _Shit._

“What’s the job?” He pressed.

“A heist,” she answered, “We require an item being stored in a highly protected area. It’s surrounded by other valuables that will be yours should you agree. We need only the one item. If you return it to us, then we return your goods and we will not steal from Fake AH again.”

Jeremy nearly swung his fist at her face as he realized. _This was on purpose. This entire thing was fucking fabricated!_

“Very well,” he agreed calmly, “Do you have information for us?”

She produced a flash drive and handed it over. He took it and passed it to Ryan for safe keeping. He was lucky the thing didn’t snap in his tense hands. They said goodbye and were shown out to their car. As soon as they were out of sight of the place, he slammed his foot on the gas with a growl.

“That fucking cunt!” He shouted, “I should’ve fucking known! I’m gonna rip her fucking face off and feed it to her that absolute fucking bitch!”

He tried to calm his breathing, tried to think rationally.

“I need to fight something,” he snarled, “I’m going to fucking break something, I swear to fucking Christ-“

He was interrupted by Ryan reaching over him, startling him. His anger deflated a bit and he let off the gas.

“Jesus, V,” he muttered, “I forgot you were there. Sorry.”

Ryan didn’t comment, instead he just opened Jeremy’s pants.

“Wh-what’re you doing?” Jeremy questioned.

He noted Ryan wasn’t wearing his mask. His heart pounded in his chest and his dick shot up to attention as Ryan pulled it from his clothes. Jeremy’s hands could’ve snapped the steering wheel as Ryan stroked him slowly.

“F-fuck!” He groaned, trying to focus on the road, “Jesus, Ry, I’m trying to drive!”

Ryan appeared unconcerned by this as he leaned down to lick at the head of Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy moaned, his hips jolting, he needed to pull over before-Ryan sank down on his cock in one go and Jeremy thought he’d died, everything went white. All he could feel was Ryan’s throat tight and hot around his cock. He fumbled with the wheel, jerking to the side of the road to pull over before Ryan’s mouth got them into an accident. 

“Ry! Fuck!” Jeremy grunted, “Fucking Christ you feel so fucking good!”

Ryan moaned, the vibrations and the filthy sound sending pulses through Jeremy. _Right, right. Praise, he likes praise._ He started moving and Jeremy couldn’t even remember his own name. He gripped the seat tightly, trying to resist grabbing Ryan’s head. _Praise him, idiot!_

“G-god, I-I should’ve known you-you’d be good at this,” he huffed out, “Y-your mouth is l-like v-vel-velvet. Fuck, I could f-fucking d-die now and I w-wouldn’t care. Fuck!”

Ryan moaned again and he pressed his teeth gently around the head of Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy sucked in a sharp breath. He looked down to where Ryan’s visible eye was watching him as he started sinking back down. Jeremy shuddered as tears fell from his eye, widened as Ryan waited for positive feedback.

“Qui-quick learner,” Jeremy gasped out, “Fucking Christ.”

Ryan grinned around his dick and Jeremy was pretty sure he’d died and gone to heaven for some reason. _Definitely don’t belong here,_ he thought as Ryan’s teeth pressed him again. Ryan shifted, keeping his mouth moving on Jeremy while he panted and moaned. It took Jeremy a few seconds to register Ryan was jacking himself off. Jeremy’s hands were in his hair, accidentally pulling it free of the tie as he thrusted into his face.

“Oh, god, Ry!” He moaned, “You’re s-so fucking good. F-fuck your mouth is l-like heaven! Ry, I’m g-gonna cum in y-your throat, fuck! Y-you feel so good!”

Ryan let out a drawn out moan, muffled by Jeremy’s cock. His hand sped up on his own dick and Jeremy was so fucking close he could practically taste his own cum in Ryan’s mouth. 

“Y-you’re so f-fucking beautiful,” Jeremy groaned.

Ryan choked around Jeremy as he gasped and moaned, cumming all over his hand. Jeremy grunted and jerked a few more desperate thrusts before dumping his load down Ryan’s throat. He pulled him off quickly, trying to make sure he was breathing properly. Ryan panted, trying to catch his breath as he laid his head on Jeremy’s thigh. 

Jeremy quickly retrieved tissues to clean up. When they were sufficiently clean, he brushed Ryan’s hair back behind his ear. He had no idea where the hair tie fell, so Ry was just gonna have to deal. He carefully brushed his fingers through his long hair, gently untangling it. Eventually Ryan’s eyes opened and looked up at him. _Mine,_ Jeremy thought, gently brushing his hand over Ryan’s cheek, a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey, sleepy,” Jeremy teased.

Ryan winced at his awkward positioning and sat back upright. He pulled a hair tie from one of his many pockets and fixed his hair without looking at Jeremy who just stared at him in amazement. Hair back in place, he finally looked at Jeremy’s wide-eyed stare. He was glad it was a bit dark, mostly hiding his blush.

“What?” He demanded, “I got cum on my face?”

Jeremy’s eyes flicked to his lips and he shuddered. Ryan swallowed around the lump in his throat. _He’s picturing me with cum on my face. Fuck._ Jeremy seized his shirt and yanked him forward, shoving another hot, messy kiss on his mouth. Ryan stared in surprise as Jeremy’s tongue forced its way past his lips to taste himself in Ryan’s mouth. 

Then he pulled away and turned on the car. He opened the windows to air out the fuck scent as they drove home silently. Ryan’s insides were twisting and tying in knots. _Did I fuck up?_ He glanced at Jeremy from the corner of his eye. His body was less tense, but his face was pulled into an expression of deep thought. Ryan wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but whatever it was, he was entirely focused on it.

_RYAN! RYAN! RYAN! RYAN! RYAN!_

Jeremy’s mind screamed at him. No complete thought on the man, just his name blaring over and over again like an alarm alerting an imminent meltdown of some sort. His head was spinning in circles over the name, unable to think anything else until his brain resolved whatever problem it had. But he couldn’t figure out the problem because the only thing he could think was:

_RYAN! RYAN! RYAN! RYAN! RYAN!_


	16. Chapter 16

“Lose your calm,” Jeremy muttered bitterly, “Why do I still say that shit?”

He sighed, pausing as he held the bar in one fist. A week and he hadn’t told Geoff about the heist yet. He really didn’t want to do it. He’d played right into the Observatory’s hands and he was seriously fucking ashamed. First Luther’s deal falling through, then he didn’t even catch the amateur, and now he had to plan this stupid fucking heist. Everything fucking sucked.

“Rimmy?”

Jeremy fumbled the bar, nearly fully dropping his face onto it. He grabbed at the bar with his other hand as his legs tipped and he slipped off. He dropped to the mat with an “oof” and groaned.

“The fuck, V?” He wheezed, “Is it your life’s goal to keep me constantly on edge and annoyed?”

Ryan’s head appeared above him.

“We have a job,” he stated clearly, “Get dressed and meet me in the garage.”

Jeremy sighed as he hauled himself up. Yes, the other thing that had been happening for a week: Ryan giving him the cold shoulder. Avoiding him. Barely even looking at, let alone talking to him. He’d started wearing masks around him again as well. He was pulling away and Jeremy didn’t know what the fuck he was meant to do about it.

It felt like all they did was go back and forth. They’d argue, make up, have mind-blowing sex, then be back to square one the next day. Jeremy hadn’t been pressing him because of the Observatory. He was too worried to ask him what was wrong. He was too afraid of what Ryan might ask to even clarify if it was the Observatory or the road head afterwards that was bothering him. And the giant manchild couldn’t initiate a conversation to save his life.

“Rimmy, wake up.”

Ryan’s voice halfway woke him up from his autopilot.

_“Rimmy,”_ Jeremy mocked, annoyed.

He slapped away Ryan’s hand waving in his face. Ryan started for one of the less conspicuous cars.

“What are we doing?” Jeremy asked tightly as he followed.

“Stake out.”

“Fucking great,” he grumbled, getting in the car, “My favorite thing to do with you.”

Ryan was silent as he drove, but Jeremy noted how tense he looked. He certainly _seemed_ to need an angry fuck, but for whatever reason was refraining. It was going to be a long fucking night. 

Ryan meanwhile had no idea what to do. He was in so deeply he couldn’t make himself stop thinking about him. He was intoxicated by him, by everything he said or did. The last time he’d gotten so drunk off a person, it had not ended well for him. He wanted Jeremy with every fiber of his being, but he couldn’t make himself just fucking admit that and fully commit. He didn’t want to believe something good could come from them, because believing was far too dangerous.

~

“There he is!” Jeremy hissed, smacking Ryan’s arm.

_I’m gonna catch you this time you shit!_ Jeremy bolted from the car, sprinting down the alleyway where the guy had disappeared. He was going to solve at least one of his problems. He followed the hooded figure around a corner and rushed to catch up with them where they were halfway up a building already. They had the gear, but he had experience. They made it up over the roof only a split second before him and he dove to knock them down. They struggled under him as he yanked an arm around their back. 

“Hello, _brother,”_ a chilling voice came from the person.

Jeremy’s hand tightened on his wrist.

“Why?” He demanded.

“Because we knew you’d try to catch him,” he answered smugly, “Tsk, tsk, Rimmy, dear, all you had to do was plan the heist. Should’ve been a sm-“

Jeremy hauled him up and tossed him off the roof. As expected, he rolled to avoid damage, but before he could run, he found a gun pointed at his face. Jeremy made his way down much safer and cracked his neck as he came to stand next to Ryan. 

“Boss?” Ryan prompted.

Jeremy almost audibly gasped in surprise, but schooled his features. _Channel your inner Vagabond. Guard your face._ He tilted his head as he looked at the Observer, as though he was considering. 

“I suppose we don’t need him for anything,” he muttered thoughtfully.

Ryan took the hint and shifted as though to shoot. Jeremy held out his hand quickly as though to stop him from shooting.

“Then again, he’s technically not our man,” He reasoned, “AH hasn’t been done wrong by this man.”

He reveled in the way the man squirmed under his gaze. Ryan was radiating an intense sort of rage as he stepped forward menacingly. 

“Perhaps,” Ryan murmured tightly, “But if one of us is done wrong, we’re all done wrong. That’s what family _truly_ means.”

His voice was rough with anger. The Observer backed up instinctively. Jeremy’s heart was in his throat, running a million miles an hour. _Family._ Ryan didn’t even know what the man had done to Jeremy, he didn’t care. _He hurt my Jeremy._

“Vagabond, I don’t think we need to kill him,” Jeremy commented lightly.

He put a calming hand on Ryan’s bicep. Ryan backed off in response, glancing at him cautiously. _He hurt Jeremy, so Jeremy decides if he lives or dies._ He kept his aim up, just in case.

“He’ll send a better message alive,” Jeremy mused, looking up at him with a smile, “Don’t you think?”

Ryan turned to look down at him, grinning widely beneath the mask. _I **really** like when Jeremy’s the boss._

~

“Alright, Jeremy!” Geoff cheered, grinning proudly, “Didn’t I say, you’re better? Well done! Now we can move on from this annoying sneak thief.”

Jeremy beamed under Geoff’s praise, his chest tight with emotion. _I did it._

“You said you got his gear off him, right?” Geoff moved on, “Should we run it by one of our engineers?”

“Yes, definitely!” Jeremy agreed, “Lizard skin is an invaluable project. Not only would it be quite useful, it’s also highly sought after.”

Geoff’s mouth turned up into a smug grin.

“Money?” He guessed.

“Money!” Jeremy confirmed, grinning back.

“You know the way to a man’s heart, Dooley,” Geoff laughed.

“You know I love pleasing you, boss,” Jeremy simpered in an overly sweet voice.

He winked at Geoff who just laughed.

“I dunno that your boyfriend will like your flirting,” Geoff warned teasingly.

Jeremy squinted.

“I have a boyfriend?!” He demanded in surprise.

Geoff’s eyes darted to Ryan who had remained silent in the background. He had a murderous look in his eyes. 

“Don’t you?” Geoff teased, quickly switching gears, “You telling me you really do go climb buildings all the time? Here I thought you had a man finally.”

“You jealous of my midnight rendezvous, boss?” Jeremy laughed.

_I’m not, but I know a solid force of destruction is shaking with rage at the idea you could have a boyfriend,_ Geoff wanted to say.

“I thought I was your one and only?” He scoffed instead, “Anyway, you’ve done so well you don’t even have to explain to me why Ryan is holding a human tongue in his hand.”

The matching insane grins the duo gave him actually had him suppressing a shiver. _Jesus, talk about a power couple. I need a fucking drink._


	17. Chapter 17

Ryan’s firm grip on Jeremy’s bicep was a pretty clear indication of what he wanted to do. Jeremy’s heart was pounding so hard in his chest he thought it almost had to be audible. Jeremy was extremely confused when they passed Ryan’s door and went in his room instead. _What the fuck?_ Ryan pushed him against his own door and dropped to his knees.

“R-Ry? What are-why are-?” He sputtered as Ryan opened his jeans.

Ryan looked up at him, pausing for only a moment as if to ask if Jeremy wanted him to stop. Jeremy thought he might pass out from how amazing he looked down there. Ryan took his silence to mean he was alright with it and damn, he _was_ alright with it. Ryan’s mouth was on him like he needed Jeremy’s cock to live. Jeremy shuddered as his hips pulsed, thrusting his cock over Ryan’s tongue. 

“F-fuck!” Jeremy gasped, head tilting back, “Fuck you’re so fucking amazing. Y-you fucking cut a man’s t-tongue out today and you’re fucking bl-blowing me. Fuck. Jesus you look s-so sexy when y-you’re in full V-vagabond mode.”

Ryan moaned around him and Jeremy moaned back at the jolts the vibrations sent through him. 

“Fuck! Ev-every time,” he groaned, “I s-see you b-being a badass, I j-just w-want you t-to, fuck, th-throw me d-down and-and make m-me t-take your f-fucking c-cock! Fuck, Ry, please!”

Ryan’s mouth dragged slowly off of him.

“Please what, Jeremy?” He asked, breath hot on Jeremy’s cock, “Be specific, darling.”

Jeremy moaned, his knees shaking as desire pulsed through him. He was sliding down the door, he was so unsteady.

“F-Fuck me, pl-please!” He whined, “F-fuck I n-need you so b-bad!”

Jeremy’s vision went hazy as Ryan stood and tossed him onto the floor. He moaned, struggling to get to his knees, but a boot pressed to his thigh, stopping his motion. He looked over his shoulder at Ryan who grinned down at him with his predator smile. His body trembled. _He’s going to devour me._ A moan puffed out of him and his ass tried to push out. 

“Look at you, you filthy little thing,” Ryan taunted, “Trembling at my mercy, knowing what I could do to you and you’re still trying to present like a bitch in heat.”

Jeremy shuddered and watched Ryan with wide eyes. Ryan crouched down and a knife appeared in his hand, clicking as it opened. Jeremy’s breath got in his throat at the sight of it.

“Green!” He blurted before Ryan could ask.

Ryan grinned smugly at him before the knife lowered to Jeremy’s jeans. Jeremy bit his lip, trying to stay still and quiet as Ryan cut his clothing off of him. The press of the cold steel on his skin sent shivers through him. Though it didn’t cut him, the threat that it could weighed heavily on him, especially on his cock, which was rubbing painfully against the carpet. 

“There we go,” Ryan commented, as the last of the fabric fell from Jeremy’s body, “Now my present’s all unwrapped for me.”

Jeremy buried his blushing face in his arms. 

“Stupid po-porno line!” He grunted.

He jerked and cried out as a gloved palm slapped against his ass.

“You can be so mouthy,” Ryan growled, “Sometimes I wonder if you’re trying to provoke me.”

_Yes, probably,_ Jeremy thought miserably, though he wasn’t actually all that sure. Ryan smacked his ass again, sending a jolt through him. _Yes, probably, yes I want you to punish me._ Ryan stood up again and pushed his boot against Jeremy, rolling him to his back. He stood over him, one foot on either side of Jeremy’s hips. Jeremy’s thighs squeezed together, embarrassed by how hard he was, how much he liked this position. His hands covered his mouth and he stared up at Ryan who was staring down at him curiously, like he’d never seen him before.  Then he looked annoyed. He stepped back a few steps.

“Open your legs, whore,” he ordered.

Jeremy shuddered, his legs parting almost naturally. One of Ryan’s boots kicked impatiently at one of his knees and forced it to the side. Jeremy bit back a moan. Ryan’s hands moved to his belt and arousal shot through Jeremy as he closely watched Ryan undoing his pants. He stroked himself as he stared down at Jeremy who was struggling to breathe properly. Ryan pulled lube out and tossed it on Jeremy’s belly. 

“Better make it quick,” he warned, “You have one minute before I shove my cock inside you.”

Jeremy’s hands immediately set to work, trembling as he fingered himself. Ryan was watching him, eyes hungry like he wanted to eat him alive. Jeremy moaned. He didn’t know if one minute had actually passed, but Ryan dropped to his knees, roughly shoving his hand away and lining up. Jeremy sighed out a breathy moan as he slid inside him. 

“Fucking loose,” Ryan growled, “Little fucking whore. I-I bet you’d l-let anyone fuck you.”

_Again with this?_ Jeremy thought miserably.

“No!” He whined, annoyed, “I-I d-don’t-! O-only you.”

Ryan gasped above him, tipping over suddenly. His cock pulsed inside Jeremy as his palms slammed into the floor. He was panting heavily and his hips twitched back and forth. _He likes when I say only him?_

“R-Ry, o-only you can s-satisfy me!” Jeremy groaned, “I only w-want you in-inside me!”

Ryan moaned, his hips moving back to thrust properly. Jeremy put his arms around Ryan’s neck and pressed his lips to his ear.

“I only want you!” Jeremy whispered, moving against his thrusts, “You’re the only one who can fill me up like this. I crave you with every part of me, I want you, I need you. No one else could feel as good as you.”

Ryan grunted as his thrusts grew more desperate. 

“J-Jeremy, I-“ he choked into Jeremy’s neck, “I-I want...I wanna be...”

Jeremy’s heart was in his throat at Ryan’s vulnerable sounding voice. Whatever he wanted to say was important, but he couldn’t make himself say it. Instead, he made a frustrated noise and fucked harder into Jeremy like he was running from what he wanted to say. Jeremy shuddered. He had a tiny hope that what Ryan wanted was also what he wanted, but he was too terrified of rejection, too terrified of not being good enough to say it. 

Instead, he met Ryan’s thrusts just as desperately. Talking is what they needed, but fucking is what they did. _We’re quite good at that,_ Jeremy thought bitterly as Ryan prayed Jeremy would understand without him having to say it, because he just couldn’t force himself to trust Jeremy enough to say it out loud. _I want to really be your one and only._

~

_ If you lose your calm, you could lose your life. _

Jeremy sighed as he dropped, spinning around the bar once before steadying back on top and lifting one hand away.

“Heya, V, what’s up?” He called, dipping as he prepared to switch hands.

“Well, you are,” Ryan joked.

Jeremy snorted as he hopped from one hand to the other.

“Seriously though,” he pressed, his legs tipping.

“I have an idea,” Ryan answered as Jeremy dropped.

“That can’t be good news,” Jeremy teased as he spun around the bar.

He used his momentum to fling himself into the air. He flipped and landed on the mat. 

“I think you’ll like this one,” Ryan assured him right in his ear.

“Oh?” Jeremy prompted, suddenly feeling breathless.

Ryan’s hands slid over his sides as he pressed tiny kisses against his neck. Jeremy relaxed in his arms, leaning against him. He liked the idea already.

“It’s a heist,” Ryan finally continued, “The one those assholes in the glass dome gave you.”

Jeremy tried to focus on his words even as Ryan’s hand tugged his shirt free and ran up his torso.

“You listening?” Ryan teased in his ear.

“Yeah, yup! Yes, listening,” Jeremy sputtered, “Heist. Glass dome. Assholes.”

Ryan smirked against his ear as his fingers traced over his right nipple. _Smug bastard._ Jeremy groaned as Ryan pressed his teeth to Jeremy’s neck, not biting, before he kissed back to his ear.

“I think we can do it,” He commented lightly.

His fingers not occupied by nipple skirted over the waistband of Jeremy’s pants.

“Yes, absolutely,” Jeremy muttered breathlessly.

Ryan laughed in his ear.

“The _heist,_ Jeremy,” he clarified.

“Right, Yes, that too,” Jeremy agreed as Ryan’s fingers slipped in his pants, “But like later. We can do it later.”

“Oh?” Ryan breathed in his ear, “You want t-“

“Your love is like bad medicine-“

Jeremy fumbled for his phone as Gavin’s ringtone interrupted Ryan’s naughty words.

“Bad medicine is what I need, whoa

Shake it up just like-“

“Gavin??” Jeremy answered frantically.

Ryan retreated immediately.

“Lil J!” Gavin shrieked into the phone, “Come gimme!”

Jeremy sighed. 

“What did I tell you about drinking alone?” He muttered, annoyed.

Gavin belched in response and giggled.

“Where are you?” Jeremy asked, tersely.

“Goo goo!” Gavin proudly answered.

Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Alright, I’m coming.”

He hung up before Gavin could ask him to stay on the phone or make a sex joke. _Sticky parasite._ He sighed heavily and turned back to Ryan. He was actually a bit surprised he was still there. He was in guarded mode though, looking tense as ever.

“Gavin’s being an idiot,” Jeremy explained, “More so than usual. I have to go pick up his sloppy dr-“

“I’ll go with you,” Ryan interrupted.

Jeremy just blinked at him a moment.

“You want to help with Gavin fetching?” He asked doubtfully.

Ryan shrugged, so Jeremy shrugged back.

“Well, okay then,” he muttered, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

~

“Lil J!” Gavin shrieked for the second but probably not last time that night.

He quickly attached himself to Jeremy who just rolled his eyes.

“You got everything?” He asked, “Keys, phone, wallet?”

Gavin buried his face in Jeremy’s shoulder instead of responding. Jeremy grunted in frustration and patted down Gavin’s pockets. _Phone, wallet...keys?_

“Gavin, where are your keys?” Jeremy demanded.

“Moo,” Gavin helpfully answered.

Jeremy groaned and started dragging Gavin to the car. Ryan opened the door for him and Jeremy batted Gavin away as he tried to continue clinging. Finally Gavin-free (heh), he slammed the door and rubbed at his temples.

“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked, “Isn’t he about the same as usual?”

“He’s lost his fucking keys,” Jeremy grunted, “But not here. He lost them at a different club.”

“So? They’re just keys,” Ryan argued, “We can make copies.”

“Normally, yes, we could,” Jeremy answered tightly, “But there’s a key on his ring that has no other copy. It’s irreplaceable.” 

“Then why the hell does Gavin have it?” Ryan scoffed.

“Because it’s _his_ key,” Jeremy snapped, “It’s a personal fucking key, okay?!”

Jeremy sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I’m just annoyed at him, not you.”

He looked up at Ryan who just shrugged.

“Alright, lets find the fucking keys and go home,” Jeremy grumbled as he made his way around the car.

Ryan raised his eyebrows at him and he stuck his tongue out.

“Yes, I’m mad we were interrupted,” he growled, “Smug fucking bastard.”

Ryan’s face lit up in a grin and Jeremy just rolled his eyes as they got in.

“Lil J!” Gavin shrieked as soon as he got in his seat.

“I’m going to kill him,” Jeremy warned quietly, “So if you’re not into watching me murder a twink, then you should probably leave.”

Ryan just laughed as they pulled out and the sound soothed some of Jeremy’s annoyance. Ryan relaxed significantly. When he’d heard the ringtone, he thought that confirmed he loved Gavin, but if he’d rather be fucking Ryan than taking care of Gavin, then Ryan was winning. _That’s fucked up, isn’t it?_ He thought, but his smile didn’t disappear. _I’m winning._


	18. Chapter 18

Jeremy’s knee slammed into the table as he jumped in surprise. The rest of the crew looked at him, startled. Except Ryan who only pretended to be startled as his hand was on Jeremy’s junk.

“S-sorry,” he muttered, “I th-think I fell asleep f-FOR-“ Ryan squeezed, “A-a second. S-sorry.”

“Come on J, pay attention,” Geoff grunted, “I’m almost done. Then you can tell everyone your news.”

Jeremy brightened up, even as Ryan’s fingertips massaged circles on his balls through his jeans. Jeremy slapped his hand over Ryan’s as quietly as he good, squeezing and shoving it away as Geoff finished talking. He eagerly stood and moved to point.

“So we have a heist,” Jeremy announced excitedly, “V and I found-“

“Why d’you still call him that?” Gavin interrupted.

Everyone looked at him then to Jeremy who frowned.

“What? What do you mean?” He asked, confused.

“Ry, why do you still call him “V”?” Gavin clarified, “He’s not Vagabond to you any more, right?”

“It doesn’t stand for Vagabond,” Jeremy muttered, a bit embarrassed.

“It doesn’t?” Ryan suddenly spoke up.

Jeremy scowled at him.

“You...” he trailed off, “Don’t remember the movie theater?”

Ryan squinted at him a moment before his face cleared.

“That’s right,” he recalled, “They were playing “V for Vendetta” for retro night. We were there for a job.”

“Aww~!” Gavin cooed, “Lil J has a cute nickname for Ry-Ry!”

Jeremy blushed, burning horribly with embarrassment. 

“I-I have nicknames f-for others too!” He protested.

“What’s mine?!” Gavin demanded.

“Sticky parasite,” Jeremy answered flatly, “Can we-“

“WOT?!” Gavin interrupted, jumping up.

The rest of the crew burst into laughter while Jeremy groaned in frustration. 

“Like herding fucking cats,” he grumbled, “Really annoying, sarcastic cats.”

He tried to ignore the swooping feeling in his guts at the feeling of the room. The looks of joy and the sounds joking between them. _Family._ He locked eyes with Ryan who grinned widely at him. He blushed and rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Ryan’s heart was pounding in his chest. _Special nickname. One better than Gavin’s even._

~

“Jeremy, about these positions,” Geoff muttered, looking at the map, “Shouldn’t Ryan go with you? You two work better together and he’s already gone up with you once.”

Jeremy’s stomach clenched.

“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugged, “But he’s a bit of a slow climber. Michael’s faster.”

Geoff hummed.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted, “I think he’d get a head start on the lockdown protocols as well. Plus we need Michael across the mansion for that electrical surge.”

He pointed at the position on the map. He was right of course. The problem was that this climb was even higher than the last and Jeremy wasn’t going to be able to pull him up. He could encourage him better from beside him, but if Ryan froze and refused to move, there would be no way he could get him up. _Unless..._

“Okay, I’ll take Ryan,” he conceded, “But only if we do only one anchor. I can get us both up faster that way.”

Geoff shrugged.

“Sure, if that’s what works for you,” he agreed, “Make sure to get good practice in before the time comes.”

Jeremy nodded. Ryan wasn’t gonna be happy about it.

“Any more notes?” He prompted.

Geoff rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Who are you taking to recon the place?” He asked, looking up.

“Probably Ryan,” Jeremy answered, “I guess I could take Michael.”

“Take Michael,” Geoff instructed, “I want him to check on the maintenance of the place. Older places sometimes have buggy wiring and plumbing.”

“Gotcha.”

“Okay, you tell them what’s going on at your convenience,” he added, “But don’t take too long.”

Jeremy nodded and left sullenly. Michael hated recon and Ryan hated heights. _Great_ news for Jeremy who had to be the messenger. In Fake AH, the messenger is always shot. 

Michael was annoyed to no end, but went to complain to Geoff instead of murdering Jeremy. So Jeremy could live another five seconds before having to tell Ryan. Good news. Technically. Jeremy sighed as he went to locate the man. Armory was the safest assumption and sure enough he was there, cleaning one of his guns.

“Heya, V,” Jeremy greeted, trying to sound cheerful, “Got a minute?”

Ryan looked up from the gun with a grin. He was up and on Jeremy before Jeremy had a chance to tell him “not that”. He pressed him up against one of the cabinets, pinning him with his hips and swooping down to bite at his neck.

“Ah, Ry, th-this isn’t why I’m here,” Jeremy grunted, “I gotta tell you something about the heist.”

Ryan let out an annoyed breath and stepped back. He scowled, crossing his arms across his chest.

“So Geoff has some changes,” Jeremy mumbled, “He, uh, wants you to switch places with Michael.”

Ryan’s angry face dropped into an anxious one. 

“I tried to tell him no,” Jeremy muttered bitterly, “But I couldn’t without telling him about your phobia.”

Ryan sighed and rubbed his hand across his face.

“But I do have a solution,” Jeremy assured him, “We’re going to have one anchor. We’ll go up completely attached to each other. That way you don’t have to try to climb while we’re going up.”

Ryan looked a bit relieved and stepped back towards him. Before Jeremy could blink again, Ryan was hugging him. His arms were loose around Jeremy’s waist and his face dropped to Jeremy’s shoulder. Jeremy did his best to reciprocate, hugging him around the shoulders and pulling him closer.

“Th-Thanks,” Ryan mumbled, “For trying to help. And not telling Geoff.”

“Well, duh,” Jeremy joked, “Partners in crime, remember?”

Ryan let out a breathy laugh that sound like a sigh. He kissed tiny kisses up his neck to his ear.

“I heard the message,” he whispered, “Can I have my treat now?”

Jeremy shuddered.

“Th-the door isn’t locked!” He protested, “A-and really we should... practice.”

“We can practice later,” Ryan insisted.

He rolled his hips against Jeremy’s as he kissed back down his neck to his shoulder where the bite was. Jeremy shuddered again.

“Wh-what’s gotten into you?” Jeremy hissed, “Wh-why’re you s-so horny?”

“You look so appetizing,” Ryan groaned, hands sliding down to grope his ass, “How can I help it if my cute little slut always looks so ready for it?”

“R-Ry!” Jeremy gasped, “O-okay! H-hurry!”

Ryan had his pants around his ankles and fingers in his ass in record time. 

“G-gimme your hand,” he grunted.

Jeremy held it out and Ryan shoved it between his legs, grinding his clothed erection against it. He shuddered and moaned before going back to holding Jeremy steady while his fingers fucked him open. Jeremy rubbed against his grinding hips, again suddenly struck by how big the other guy’s cock was.

“Jesus, Ry,” He muttered breathlessly, “Y-your dick is fucking huge! H-how haven’t you d-destroyed my insides?”

Ryan moaned, jolting against Jeremy. Then he spun him, shoving him against the cabinet while he fumbled to get himself out and pushed into Jeremy. Jeremy whined as he entered, the prep had barely been enough. He pushed back against Ryan’s slow push forward and they slotted together like two halves of a bigger part. Jeremy sniffled as he suddenly started crying.

“Jeremy? Jeremy, what’s wrong?” Ryan demanded frantically, “Does it hurt?”

“U-um, yes, but th-that’s not...”

Ryan wrapped his arms around him and kissed his ear.

“Should we stop?” He asked.

Jeremy made a distressed noise and tried to wipe away his tears.

“I-I wanna...I want to...” he mumbled incoherently.

Ryan squeezed him reassuringly and kissed his ear again. Jeremy couldn’t say it, couldn’t set himself up for more rejection. There was a psychological reason why he usually topped: he hated feeling vulnerable and weak. In Ryan’s arms, that’s what he was. _Pliable._ Ryan could do about anything to Jeremy and he’d take it. Probably happily take it. 

He was terrified by how badly he craved giving Ryan control of him. How badly he craved being loved by him. He wanted to only ever be Ryan’s, but that could never be guaranteed. He could never know for sure that Ryan wouldn’t abandon him. 

Jeremy couldn’t do it, couldn’t make himself tell him, so he spoke with his hips again, praying one day he’d be able to. He rocked back against Ryan who seemed to hesitate before starting up, squeezing his arms around Jeremy and pressing sweet kisses all over his neck and shoulder. Jeremy relaxed some into his arms and groaned as one of Ryan’s hands snaked down to jerk him off.

“You with me, baby?” Ryan called softly, “You sure you’re okay?”

Jeremy nodded.

“T-talk to me?” He requested.

Ryan chuckled lightly, pressing another kiss on his ear.

“Can’t you feel I’m here?” He teased, jutting his hips.

Jeremy moaned, back arching.

“Fuck look at your body,” Ryan grunted, “You bend so fucking beautifully. S-so flexible, I wanna tie you up into so many positions just to, fuck, s-see how much I can twist you before y-you break.”

Jeremy panted harshly, rocking back to meet Ryan’s thrusts. Images of brilliant purple rope over his skin rolled through his mind and he moaned loudly.

“You want me to tie you up, baby?” Ryan groaned in his ear as his pace picked up, “Wanna s-see how pretty y-you are when I put you r-right where I want to?”

“Y-Yes!” Jeremy cried, “Yes! Pl-please, R-Ry! U-use me! Please, I-I wanna be y-your t-toy!”

“F-fuck!” Ryan hissed, his thrusts turning desperate, “You wanna b-be my sl-slutty little fl-fleshlight? Wa-want me to take y-you however I want? Want m-me to own you?”

Jeremy cried out as a harsh thrust rammed into his prostate and he came, splattering over the cabinet. Ryan clamped down on his shoulder before his dick stopped pulsing and fucked into him with a bruising speed. Jeremy jostled back and forth, sure he’d have fallen if Ryan hadn’t been holding him.

“F-fuck! Fuck yes, J-Jeremy!” He moaned, “F-fuck you’re so f-fuckin hot and s-soft. T-tell me who y-you belong to!”

“Y-you, Ryan! I be-belong to you!” Jeremy whimpered, his body overstimulated, “I’m y-yours, I’m o-only yours!”

Ryan let out a growling, feral sort of moan as he came inside him. Jeremy shuddered. _That’s a new sound._ He leaned into Jeremy, panting with his head between his shoulder blades. Jeremy shivered which seemed to wake him up a bit.

“S-sorry,” he muttered breathlessly as he started to clean up, “I’m f-fucking exhausted now!”

“Jeez, old man, try to keep up, would ya?” Jeremy laughed.

“Listen here, whippersnapper,” Ryan teased back, “Don’t make me bend you over my knee.”

Jeremy snorted.

“Oh no, not a spanking!” He joked, “What would I, a masochist, do if you were to spank me? Oh no! What a punishment!”

Ryan laughed as they finished putting themselves back together.

“Fair point,” he conceded, “I suppose I’ll have to be more creative.”

“Ha! Good luck, baby,” Jeremy snorted, “Punishing someone who likes it is gonna be real difficult.”

Ryan laughed again, grinning at him. Then he put his arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

“I can always refuse to fuck you,” he pointed out, gleefully, “How many days you think you could go?”

Jeremy scowled at him.

“Is that a threat?” He grunted.

“Nope!” Ryan assured, cheerfully, “That’s a challenge.”

His grin went predatory and Jeremy swallowed, but refused to back down. 

“Oh, it’s on!” He growled, “You’ll break way before I do!”

“What’s your wager then?” Ryan asked, voice sugary.

Jeremy squinted at him a moment before smiling widely.

“I win, I top,” he offered.

Ryan rolled his eyes, even with his heart thundering in his chest. Shit, he needed something good if he was even going to try to win. He smirked down a Jeremy as a plan began to form. Jeremy looked adorably worried. 

“Alright,” he agreed, “But if I win, I’m putting a vibrator in your ass and taking you into town.”

Jeremy blushed crimson and Ryan’s grin only got bigger. _Cute._

“F-fine! Seal the deal,” Jeremy grumbled.

He moved back to shake his hand, but Ryan dipped down and kissed his lips instead. 

“It’s on, baby,” he breathed, hot against his mouth.

Jeremy swallowed thickly. _Oh no. I’ve fucked up, haven’t I?_


	19. Chapter 19

“Probably not the time to start this bet,” Jeremy grunted as they finished attaching themselves, “This can’t possibly be a good position.”

“Giving up already?” Ryan taunted, rolling his hips against Jeremy, “Only one day? Disappointing.”

Jeremy blushed, embarrassed and angry.

“I said no such thing!” He snapped, “Just saying for um-for this-it’s just-Would you quit that?!”

He grunted the last bit as Ryan kept rubbing against him. Ryan chuckled, his voice filled with dark amusement. 

“Why, what’s wrong, baby?” He teased, “Something bothering you?”

Jeremy’s jaw clenched. _Oh, no you don’t, smug bastard._ He leaned closer to Ryan, fluttering his lashes.

“It’s just...you’re so big~!” He cooed, “Every time you push up against me, I think about how good you feel in me. How bad I crave you.”

Ryan groaned, gripping Jeremy’s harness and spinning him. He crowded him up against the wall, letting out a breathy moan. Jeremy let out an exaggerated moan, pressing against him. 

“F-fuck!” Ryan hissed, “You were fucking r-right. B-bad timing.”

“Giving up already?” Jeremy repeated, “Only one day? Disappointing.”

Ryan’s eyes flashed dangerously as Jeremy grinned up at him. 

“Little shit,” Ryan grunted.

_I have perhaps underestimated Jeremy in this little game._

“Anyway, no fucking around as we go up,” Jeremy instructed sternly, “You can go back to bothering me afterwards, okay?”

Ryan nodded and they got back into position to begin the climb. Ryan watched Jeremy take a deep breath with his eyes clothes. _He’s reciting the mantra again._

“If you lose your calm, you could lose your life,” he muttered under his breath. 

Ryan wondered if he learned it at the Observatory. He wondered how he ended up there. Wondered what that slime had done to him while he was there. Wondered why he’d left. Wondered what else hid in his past. Wondered why the _hell_ he’d trusted Ryan with that knowledge. Jeremy opened his eyes and began their ascent. Ryan felt a jolt of fear spasm outward from his stomach. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Jeremy assured him softly, “It’s just the twenty feet again, no worries. You’re safe.”

Jeremy let go to rub his hip gently. Warmth washed over him, soothing the fear. He nodded and Jeremy went back to work. He watched Jeremy as he started up again, his face was serious, confident, and focused. He made an annoyed grunting sound as he moved. They weren’t going up very fast. Jeremy kept squatting and standing in midair, but it didn’t seem to be working very well. 

“I’m in the way,” Ryan realized bitterly, “Here, does this help?”

He wrapped his legs around Jeremy’s waist, keeping them up out of his way. Now every time Jeremy moved they moved and the ascent was speeding up. Jeremy blushed, but he kept up the weird squat and stand movements. 

They made it to the top so quickly Ryan had to wonder how it was possible. As he got over the lip of the wall, he pulled Jeremy closer to him by the legs still around his waist. Jeremy huffed out an annoyed breath as he fell over him. He scowled at Ryan, even though Ryan could feel his boner.

“Get used to this position,” Jeremy grunted, “Cause when I win, this is exactly how I’ll lay you out.”

Ryan’s heart squeezed and he swallowed.

“Yeah?” He quipped back, “Too bad for you I’m a power bottom.”

Jeremy grinned, wide and mischievous. Ryan felt a shiver go through him. _I’m in trouble, aren’t I?_

~

“Ryan!” Jeremy hissed, “This is hardly fair!”

Ryan grinned against his neck. It was the third day in a row Ryan had suddenly attacked him, groping and rubbing against him. Jeremy groaned, trying to ignore the massive boner pressing against him. _Work. I’m working. Gotta go to the mansion with Michael._

“But I got you a present, baby,” Ryan cooed, overly sweet, “For being such a patient, good little slut for me. Waiting so nicely.”

Jeremy moaned, his ass pushing back to rub against him. Ryan smirked, pulling a small box out from his jacket and holding it up in front of him. Jeremy blinked heavily, trying to focus on the box. It was orange, tied with yellow ribbon. 

He took it from Ryan’s hand, glancing at the other man nervously. He had his arms around Jeremy, chin on his shoulder. His face was lit up in an evil grin. That couldn’t possibly be good news for Jeremy.

He swallowed his nervousness and untied the ribbon carefully. He flipped the lid open and was first struck by the familiar purple hue. Then he realized what the fabric was and immediately slammed the lid back closed. His face went bright red.

_“R-Ryan!”_ He hissed, “Why- _fucking why_ -d-did you get me th-this?!”

Ryan laughed in his ear before pressing his lips on Jeremy’s burning cheek.

“I thought you’d look quite pretty in them,” Ryan teased, “And you’ve done so well. Three whole days. I thought you should get some big boy panties as a reward.”

He pressed more gentle kisses over Jeremy’s jaw and neck.

“Y-you’re a menace,” Jeremy muttered.

“Don’t you like them?” Ryan pouted, “They’re even your color.”

Jeremy thought he could explode with how embarrassed he was. 

“Come on, baby,” Ryan coaxed, voice low, “Let me see your pretty little cock all wrapped in satin.”

As embarrassed as he was, this was the perfect opportunity to get Ryan desperate. He needed to change for the job with Michael anyway. He pulled away to drop his pants and underwear and slowly slipped the soft satin and lace up his legs. 

Ryan felt like he was in actual pain as he watched the fabric slip up Jeremy’s thighs. His hand rubbed against his own crotch absently as Jeremy pulled the fabric up over his half hard cock. The panties strained and bulged with the effort of holding it in. God, they looked as good as he thought they would. They fit perfectly over his hips, the lacy edges following the V of Jeremy’s muscles. 

He watched, transfixed as Jeremy’s fingers ran over the lace bottom edges up to the lace windows on the hips. His fingers traced the floral lace patterns before running over the top edge, down to where the V ended just before his happy trail gave way to pubic hair. His cock was fully hard now, fighting against the fabric to get free. Jeremy’s thighs closed as though to try to hide and Ryan groaned.

“T-turn around,” he growled.

Jeremy shuddered as he obeyed. 

“Bend over.”

“R-Ry,” Jeremy whined.

“Bend over,” Ryan repeated tightly.

Jeremy bent at his waist, blushing. _Come on, get him riled up._ He dipped his lower back and spread his legs. Ryan moaned behind him and Jeremy could feel the panties getting wet with precum. _Presenting like I’m in heat_. Jeremy’s body flushed in embarrassment at the thought. 

_Presenting,_ Ryan thought, groaning again. _Fuck. This backfired._ He gripped Jeremy’s thigh roughly, spreading it wider so he could see Jeremy’s wrapped up package better. His mouth watered, his grip tightening. Jeremy made a tiny noise.

“R-Ry!” He whimpered, tearfully looking over his shoulder, “That h-hurts!”

Ryan shuddered and moaned at his teary eyes, his grip only getting tighter. Jeremy whined. _Fine, I lose, I fucking lose, I don’t care,_ Ryan thought, moving forward to shove the panties aside. 

_ Bang! Bang! Bang! _

Jeremy shot away from him with a hissed string of curses.

“Fuck, that’s Michael,” he muttered, face red, “I need to get dressed!”

He snatched up his pants, yanking them on before answering the door.

“J, hurry the fuck up!” Michael growled, “I want to get this fucking bullshit over with!”

Ryan pinched his ass from behind the door, causing him to jump.

“S-sorry!” Jeremy squeaked, “I’ll be done s-soon.”

Michael rolled his eyes and stormed off as Jeremy shut the door. He smacked Ryan’s arm.

“Asshole!” He grunted, looking for the rest of the uniform, “Damnit! Michael’s gonna be pissed if we’re late!”

He slapped at Ryan’s grabby hands as he pulled on the exterminator uniform on.

“A menace!” He reiterated as he left the room.

Ryan stifled laughter as Jeremy hurried off. _Oh, man. He’s gonna be mad when he remembers._

~

Jeremy squirmed in the passenger seat. He’d closed the door by the time he realized he was still wearing the damn panties. _I’m going to murder him. Ryan, they will never find your body._

“Relax,” Michael grumbled, “You’re giving me fucking anxiety.”

Jeremy ducked his head, feeling a bit embarrassed. He shifted and slumped down.

“S-sorry, just nervous,” he muttered, “I want the h-heist to go well.”

Among other things.

“It will,” Michael assured him, “You’re like a fucking genius or some shit. And you got your battle buddy by your side. You and Ry are like the ultimate buddy cop types.”

Even with his shitty mood, squirming against the lace on his hips, he glowed under the praise. He was especially pleased Michael thought they made a good team.

“Oh, yeah?” Jeremy laughed, “What’re we bad cop, psycho cop?”

Michael’s laughter soothed his nervousness as they pulled into the drive. They were let through the gate without incident and after a quick search of their van, they were let in the house. The second hand man met them in the foyer and Jeremy gave a polite smile.

“Hi, you’re Mr. Red?” He greeted.

“Yes, that’s me,” the man answered gruffly, “You know what you’re doing?”

“Yes, we were given all the information,” Jeremy assured him, “We were told we had escorts for security reasons?”

Red gestured at two armed guards who stepped up next to them. 

“They can show you around,” he explained, “Try to not knock anything over while you get rid of the damn bugs.”

“We’ll try our best,” Jeremy laughed lightly.

Red went back to his regular job and Jeremy turned to his guard.

“I need to go to the attic,” he informed them, with a friendly smile, “Can you lead me there?” 

He heard Michael asking to be led to the kitchen as they walked away. 

“You’re pretty cute for an exterminator,” the guard spoke up as they left hearing range of the others.

“Ha, you’re treading in dangerous water,” he teased back.

The guard led him through the mansion at a quick, efficient pace, but Jeremy was still able to get a good look at the layout. It seemed their blueprints were accurate at least. The attic stairs were narrow and rickety. Jeremy wouldn’t have climbed them outside of work. He was worried his boots would turn the old wood to dust. 

“Safety hazard,” he muttered as he made his way up.

“You could say that again,” the guard grumbled as they opened the attic door, “They make me come up here every day too.”

“Well, they say shit rolls downhill,” Jeremy joked as he looked around the attic.

Like most attics, it was filled with junk. He moved through the boxes and clutter towards one of the windows. He flipped the locks and shoved it open. It caught a bit, but he got it open fairly easily. He moved to the other window and slid it open easily. It was loose in the frame, sliding back down when he released it. 

“Shit,” he grunted.

He turned to look for something to prop it up with. He hovered over an old book, not sure if it would explode into dust if he tried it. _Better not._ He moved to a tennis racket and bent to grab it when he felt cold fingers on his lower back. He shot up, forcing himself not to smash the racket into their face.

“Cute panties,” the guard whispered in his ear, “You bend over to show them to me?”

Jeremy made to move away, but the guard looped their fingers under his belt and pulled him back.

“Let go,” He grunted, “This is highly inappropriate.”

“As inappropriate as wearing panties at work?” They taunted.

“Wearing panties isn’t inappropriate,” Jeremy grumbled, trying to pull away again.

“Come on now,” they muttered, “You don’t wear something that pretty without the intention of someone seeing it.”

Jeremy sighed, putting actual strength into pulling away.

“You’re right,” he mumbled, “My boyfriend bought them for me to wear _for him.”_

He threw the guard a glare and moved to prop the window open with the tennis racket. _Asshole._ He pushed away his annoyance to get to work. He put on the gas mask, passed one to the guard, and started spraying. After that was done, he made sure the anchor was in place for the climb before closing the windows. Job done. Now he could drink, fight, or fuck away the creepy feeling pulsating from where the guard had touched him. _Urk._

~

Jeremy stormed into the base, fists clenched. He couldn’t believe after that massive shut down, the guard had the nerve to give him their fucking number. He practically stomped his way to the kitchen and flung the slip of paper into the sink. He slammed up the facet and flipped the garbage disposal on. He gripped the edge of the sink, teeth grinding. _I need to find Ryan._

He flipped the sink and disposal off, turning. _Where the hell is he?_ He stormed to the living room, which was empty. Then to Ryan’s room, trying to stop his knocking from sounding frantic. _No answer. Fuck._ He went to his room, where’d he’d last seen the man and found it also empty. _Is he out?_ Jeremy went to the garage and was extremely annoyed to find Ryan’s bike wasn’t there. _Fuck, of course._

He rubbed his face tiredly and made his way to the gym. _Fine. Do some climbing or something._ He pulled out his usual rope and harness, but stopped. His ropes, the ones he kept tied a certain way, were replaced. The old ones had been black, these were deep purple with tiny flecks of non-reflective yellow. His harness had also been replaced, with a darker shade of purple than the ropes and “Rimmy Tim” monogrammed in orange on the inner side in the back. In addition a new set of orange and yellow hooks and carabiners were in the locker as well. Someone bought special gear just for him. 

_Ryan._ He rubbed at his tears, smiling softly. Fucking asshole probably didn’t even know what it meant to him. He felt some of his tension ease and he felt more excited to climb, rather than annoyed. _Gotta break in the new gear._ He was distracted just as he finished putting on the harness by the gym door opening. He looked over his shoulder, surprised to see Geoff there. 

“Yo, Jeremy,” he called, “Can you hit pause real quick?”

Jeremy shrugged, hanging the ropes back up. The harness was already fully on, so he didn’t bother trying to put it away. He followed Geoff to his office where he found Ryan sitting in front of his desk. He turned to Jeremy, eyes immediately falling to the harness. He smiled softly, confirming he was the one who bought the gear. Jeremy grinned back as he sat next to him, waiting for Geoff to come around the desk. 

“Okay, so what’s the news on the mansion, Jer?” Geoff prompted.

“Oh! It went as planned,” Jeremy answered, “Mostly. Michael said he needed to fiddle with his part a bit, but that he’s all good. And I got the-“

He stopped abruptly, realizing in his haste to get climbing, not only did he not change out of the uniform, he was also still wearing the fucking panties. _Damnit._

“The, uh, anchor,” he muttered, his face burning, “I-I got it up.”

His face got redder.

“I-I mean, I pl-placed it,” he corrected.

Geoff raised an eyebrow and Jeremy looked away, clearing his throat. He could feel Ryan’s amusement radiating from him. _Smug bastard._

“And Ry, did you get the prototype?” Geoff moved on.

Ryan nodded and pulled a case from his Mary Poppins’ bag of a jacket and opened it. Jeremy peeked inside to check out the Iguana Gear. He was a little disappointed that he’d been to busy with heist work to be an active part of the lizard skin project. Hopefully he’d still get somewhat of a say.

“They want our Burglar’s opinion,” Ryan said, turning to Jeremy, “I didn’t want to bother you until the heist was over, so I made them wait they had a full prototype.”

Jeremy felt a surge of happiness and pride. _They want my opinion._ He pulled the gear out and slipped it on. He flexed his hands and bent his knees to feel how flexible they were. 

“Knees are a bit stiff,” he muttered, “And the hands are too small for me. I’d have to actually climb to know it’s effectiveness though.”

“Then to the gym?” Ryan suggested.

They spent the next half hour assessing the gear and discussing changes to be made. Then Geoff took the prototypes back to his office, leaving Jeremy and Ryan alone in the gym. Unknown to them, he had seen the tension a mile away and was keen to get out of Dodge before Ryan finally snapped. Because wow, Geoff had never seen him looking so feral before.

Jeremy was trying to decide what he wanted to do now that his disgust and anger had mostly died down. He loosened his harness, knowing for sure he wanted to get rid of the godforsaken intruder in his pants for one. The satin on his junk did feel kinda nice, but the lace on the edges and his hips felt itchy. 

As soon as he dropped the harness, Ryan was there. He got an instinctive elbow to the ribs for that one. He grunted, but didn’t stop, immediately shoving his hand down Jeremy’s pants. He groped at Jeremy’s dick, causing him to gasp and jerk forward. His thighs closed, embarrassed by how hard he was already.

“Look at my good boy,” Ryan groaned in his ear, “Wore your panties all day. You’ve been such a good boy, so patient.”

Jeremy blushed crimson, burying his face in his hands.

“Sh-shut up,” He grumbled, “I’m never wearing these again!”

“Aw, but you look so yummy in them,” Ryan groaned in his ear, “Makes me want to eat you up.”

“Fuck,” Jeremy hissed, dick pulsing against Ryan’s hand, “R-Ryan!”

Ryan’s hips jerked against him and he gasped.

“Fuck, I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he moaned, rubbing against Jeremy, “And your cute little package all wr-wrapped up for me.”

Jeremy grunted, smacking his arm.

“St-stop calling it little!” He grumbled, “Just because y-yours is a fucking m-monster!”

Ryan moaned and shoved Jeremy up against the locker. _He’s getting close to tipping,_ Jeremy noted, biting his lip to stop from smirking. _Just a bit further._ He blinked rapidly, working himself to tears as Ryan’s hips flattened him against the locker. He looked over his shoulder at him, eyes dewy.

“R-Ryan!” He whined, “Y-you’re hurting m-me!”

The noise that came out of Ryan was the one from before, the new one. The one that was half growl, half moan, full _need._ Jeremy shuddered, fluttering his wet eyelashes at Ryan. 

“A-are you...” he mumbled, eyes full of innocence, “Are you g-going to put it in?”

Jeremy put his hand to his mouth to stop the smug grin at Ryan’s breaking. He saw the exact moment the man snapped, his face twisting into one of focused desire. He yanked Jeremy’s pants open and dove to bite his shoulder. Jeremy hissed out a pained moan at the bite. _Haha, I won!_

His victory was short lived as the alarm went off. Both men froze, eyes going wide. They pushed away from each other and Jeremy fumbled to close his pants. _Fucking shit. Just my luck._ He punched the locker, caving the door in before he spun to rush after Ryan towards the conference room and the emergency meeting.


	20. Chapter 20

Jeremy’s heart was in his throat as he waited for the rest of the crew to file into the conference room with one notable exception: Gavin. _Please no. Please be okay. Please don’t be hurt._

Geoff’s grim face said it all: Gavin was in danger. He rubbed his hands over his face as he took up his usual position at the head of the table. Jeremy’s heart was trying to choke him. He swallowed thickly, worried to all hell. _Please, please be okay._

“Gavin’s been kidnapped,” Geoff confirmed their suspicions, “By some real fucking assholes. They left a cassette player with a tape behind like it’s the fucking 80’s or some shit. I’ll let them explain.”

He pulled the recording device out and pressed play, sitting it on the table. The recording started with a whistling sound before anyone spoke.

“Hello Fake AH.”

Jeremy went pale at the sound of his teacher’s voice. 

“We have captured one of your faces, Gavin Free, the Golden Boy.”

His hand shot out and grabbed Ryan’s. 

“Now that we have your attention, let us introduce ourselves. We are the Observatory.”

Jeremy was trying not to panic. His hands squeezed.

“One of you, one of your faces, has a history with us.”

Jeremy held his breath.

“Perhaps they can tell you exactly what it is we do.”

_I’d rather not,_ Jeremy thought, anxiety growing and pulsing in him.

“Then they could explain why we’ve done this.”

_No thank you._

“This way, I won’t have to waste time. I’ll get to the point: in order to reacquire the boy, you will get the item we discussed with your operatives and get it to us.”

Jeremy’s blood boiled with white hot anger. _Get it your damn self! You fuckers can’t get away with this!_

“If the item isn’t returned to us within two weeks, we will return the kindness you showed our Observer. Then, for every day we wait after that, we will hack off some other part of him. This will continue until it is returned or he dies.”

Jeremy squeezed his eyes closed. _What have I done?! This is my fault. I...I’m so sorry, Gavin._

“If you attempt to recover him by other means, we will kill anyone who enters our territory and remove his limbs to let him bleed to death.” 

Jeremy was drowning in despair. Gavin got captured because of him. Because Jeremy couldn’t swallow his pride and just do the damn job.

“Farewell, Fake AH, we wish you luck.”

The tape clicked as it stopped playing. Jeremy tried to get his heartbeat under control. _Fuck, I have to tell them everything. I have to explain. Will they understand?_

“So what the fuck, Ry?” Geoff finally spoke, sounding annoyed.

Jeremy looked up at him, frowning. _Ry?_

“The squirrel thief was one of these pretentious assholes,” Ryan answered, “They attempted to make a deal with us, but we realized it was a setup. They’d only stolen from us to try and force us to fetch this item.”

“Ah, the climbing gear came from them,” Geoff reasoned, “So I presume the tongue was an effort to send a message?”

Ryan nodded. Geoff sighed and shook his head. Jeremy’s head was spinning trying to keep up.

“Who are these assholes that a tongue removal doesn’t faze them?” Geoff muttered, “So they must be big time. What about this supposed history? Is it just with the squirrel?”

Jeremy swallowed and started to open his mouth, but Ryan beat him to it.

“I’ve had run-ins with them,” he lied, shrugging, “Perhaps this is some personal vendetta? I honestly can’t remember if I’ve actually wronged them.”

Jeremy stared at him with eyes wide in shock. He was...protecting him. Protecting his secret. Why was he doing that? Why was he lying? It was Jeremy’s problem, not his. 

“But yes,” Ryan continued, “Very secretive. Organized. Well-connected. And they’re all talented gymnasts as far as I can tell. I do think they’ll stand by their word, Gavin should be perfectly safe for the two weeks.”

“They still sound like assholes,” Geoff grumbled, “So what’s this item?”

“It’s a book,” Ryan answered, “And it’s in Jeremy’s heist. We’d planned to get it just to snub them for trying to trick us.”

“Well, let’s move up our time table,” Geoff grunted, “Quicker we get it, the quicker we can set them up and make them pay.”

Jeremy spent the next hour pushing up their plans and refiguring how to get the heist done quicker. As they filed out of the room, he tried to process what Ryan had done.

“V, a word please?” He called tightly.

Ryan seemed a bit too eager to follow Jeremy to his room. Jeremy had barely gotten the door closed before Ryan’s hands were all over him. He slapped his hands away and grabbed his jacket, shoving him against the door.

“Why did you do that?!” Jeremy demanded, “Why did you tell them it was you?!”

Ryan raised his eyebrows.

“You didn’t want them to know,” he answered, looking confused, “And Geoff already suspected me. Why are you mad about this?”

“Why do you care?!” Jeremy snarled, “It’s my fucking problem, why should you care?!”

Ryan looked away.

“Is this...the boyfriend thing again?” He muttered, “I just thought...we’re partners in crime, aren’t we?” 

Jeremy’s body tensed to fight, but he just dropped his head to Ryan’s chest.

“It’s my fault,” he whispered, “It’s my fault they took Gavin. You should’ve let them know the truth. It’s my fault, I deserve to be punished for it.”

A shudder went through Ryan.

“Not like that, asshole,” Jeremy grunted, letting go to smack Ryan, “Of course you took that sexually, fucking perv.”

His scolding was less effective with his face in Ryan’s shirt.

“We’re this close and I’m supposed to _not_ think sexually?!” Ryan grumbled, “Not to mention I know you’re still wearing your panties.”

“Fucking panties!” Jeremy growled, backing away.

He turned to grab clothes from his dresser before yanking down the uniform pants. 

“You know, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Ryan muttered.

Jeremy looked over at him in surprise. His eyes were closed. _So he isn’t tempted,_ Jeremy thought, smiling fondly. His face was a perfect, emotionless mask. 

“I mean it,” he insisted, “It’s not your fault. Even if I do want any excuse to punish you, you should know it’s not your fault.”

Jeremy sighed, looking at the floor.

“If I’d just let it go...” He mumbled, “I should’ve just agreed to do the job. But I was so pissed that they...that I was so weak.”

“You’re not weak,” Ryan grunted, “It’s not like you were there the whole case. You were brought in too-“

Ryan suddenly snapped to attention, his eyes popping open. He rushed at Jeremy, seizing his face and pressed an excited kiss to his mouth. He was practically vibrating. Jeremy’s mind whirled trying to keep up.

“You you you!” He cried, excitedly, “I figured it out! Get dressed! Hurry!”

He smacked another kiss on his mouth before spinning on his heel and rushing from the room. Jeremy stood there for a second wondering what the fuck was going on. He shrugged and turned towards the clothes he put on the bed, but hesitated.

He looked down at the panties and thought back to the gym earlier when victory had been in his grasp. The panties drove Ryan wild for some reason and if they were going to be running around, he’d have adrenaline on his side as well. A devious grin spread across his face, followed by a tiny pang of guilt that he was thinking about that while Gavin was captured. 

Honestly though, Gavin was probably annoying his captors more than they were hurting him. He could practically hear the “You get a million dollars, but...” prompt Gavin started constantly. Or the “What if...” that started so many exhausting interactions with the man. Jeremy rolled his eyes and smiled. Yeah, Gavin was a dumbass, but he was Fake AH’s dumbass.

~

It was the place from the first stakeout that Ryan drove them to. He grabbed Jeremy’s hand and led him through the streets to where the kid had managed to give them the slip. Then he turned to face Jeremy and took his other hand, squeezing them with a huge grin on his face. Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat. He looked so fucking happy and excited. 

“Okay, Sherlock,” Jeremy teased, “Tell me how you’ve solved the case.”

Ryan straightened up, letting go of Jeremy’s hands to pace, putting on a mock serious face.

“It’s elementary, my dear Watson!” He answered, putting the mock seriousness in his voice as well, “From the beginning, the dastardly Observatory was after one thing: their precious artifact. They never cared what was stolen from us.”

“Right, it was a set up,” Jeremy agreed.

“Precisely!” Ryan continued, “But what was their goal in stealing from us, Watson?”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow at him, but couldn’t help but play along.

“To get our attention?” Jeremy offered.

“No, my dear,” Ryan corrected, “To get _your_ attention.”

“Well, I guess so,” Jeremy admitted, shrugging.

“Don’t you see?” Ryan went on, “They didn’t just send an acrobatic thief. If they had, you’d have caught him easily.”

Jeremy blushed at the praise, wondering if Ryan had meant to say it like that.

“No, it wasn’t the thief that gave us the clue, was it?” Ryan prompted, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“Right!” Jeremy realized, “It was the lizard skin that led us there.”

Ryan grinned proudly at him.

“However, none of the rest of us would’ve recognized it,” He pointed out, “We didn’t, in fact! That’s why you were brought on the case.”

“They needed me,” Jeremy reasoned, “To lead Fake AH to them. They knew the rest of you wouldn’t have figured it out.”

“Exactly!” Ryan agreed, pacing a few steps ahead of Jeremy, “And by extension, they forced us into a mindset. Down a very narrow path that lead to them.”

Jeremy frowned, again feeling guilty for being fooled by them.

“On this narrow road,” Ryan went on, “We continued to keep to their mindset, to yours even. The mindset of a climber. We were so laser-focused on these special skills that we didn’t consider any regular abilities.”

Jeremy was having trouble keeping up now.

“I don’t understand,” he muttered, “You’re saying we missed something?”

“Yes, my dear Watson,” Ryan answered, stopping and turning to look at him, “We were so focused on what _he_ could do, what you could do, that we never considered what anyone could do. We were too busy looking up, that we didn’t see what was right in front of us.”

Ryan lifted a foot and stomped, his heavy boot slamming down with a loud clang that echoed in the quiet of the night. His face was twisted into a wide, triumphant smile. Jeremy’s eyes went wide and he looked at Ryan’s feet. _A manhole cover._

“The little shit escaped through the sewers!” Jeremy exclaimed, “I _knew_ he couldn’t climb that fast, even with the gear!”

He rushed forward and grabbed at Ryan’s biceps.

“You’re a genius!!” He cried, grinning ear-to-ear, “Ryan, you figured it out!”

Ryan blushed pink at the praise, glowing under the look of adoration Jeremy was showing him. His heart beat so quickly he thought he might pass out. 

“You’re amazing,” Jeremy breathed, hands moving to his face.

He looked at Ryan like there was nothing else in the world, like he was the only thing that mattered. Ryan’s whole stomach fluttered like one big butterfly as he stood up on tip-toes to kiss him. It felt so warm, so soft, so gentle with Jeremy, he was afraid moving might shatter them. _I...I think I..._

“Ry, you there?” Jeremy called softly, “Did you hear me?”

Ryan blinked himself back to reality. Jeremy was pulling away, looking at him with concern. 

“What?”

“Too proud of yourself to pay attention?” Jeremy teased, “I said you have to move off the manhole.”

Ryan dropped his face into guarded mode and stepped away. Jeremy’s heart was pounding. Before the guard went up, Ryan had been looking at him with only one emotion. An emotion Jeremy wasn’t sure he could handle. 

_Love._


	21. Chapter 21

“This way,” Jeremy whispered again.

Ryan followed him without question, but he did wonder how Jeremy knew which turns to make. He didn’t look like a guy who spent much time in the Los Santos sewers, but as broad shouldered as he was, he didn’t seem like he spent a lot of time in the air either. _Now his ass? That looks like it spends a lot of time in the air._

Ryan frowned at himself. This stupid fucking bet they had going was turning him into a fucking teenager. He didn’t realize how delicious unobtainable fruit looked. He was struggling to think properly. His mind was fuzzy with desire. Which is why he accidentally bumped into Jeremy who had stopped moving suddenly. He stepped back quickly, but it wasn’t much use, Jeremy had already felt his distraction.

“Really?!” He hissed over his shoulder, “We’re in a fucking _sewer,_ V.”

“Can’t turn it off,” Ryan grumbled, “You’re too sexy.”

Jeremy’s face was bright red, but he didn’t look back or comment as he peered around the corner. He was slightly bent over, his body angling away from Ryan. Now he’s just doing it on purpose, Ryan thought bitterly. Jeremy leaned just a bit further, looking like he thought he saw something and was craning to see it again. The only thing Ryan could see was lace. 

“Ok, I think it-“

Jeremy was interrupted by a loud smack, accompanied by a cracking noise. He jumped and spun around to find Ryan’s eyes squeezed shut and his broken hand still clenched into a fist against the wall. Jeremy carefully gripped his wrist and pulled it away to assess damage. Didn’t look good, but it wasn’t as bad as it could be. 

He gently tugged off the leather glove and pulled free his tape from his pocket, carefully wrapping his hand to hold it together at least until they got out of the sewer. He looked up to scold Ryan to find the man staring down at him curiously. Jeremy flushed under his inquisitive gaze.

“Wh-What? Something on my face?” He muttered.

“No, though that’s tempting,” Ryan answered, deadpanned, “I was just wondering if sexy nurse outfits come in your size.”

Jeremy covered his blushing face with an annoyed groan. He tried to ignore thoughts of Ryan dressing him up in outfits. The panties were embarrassing enough.

“C-can you focus please?!” He hissed from behind his hands, “We are working!”

He dropped his hands to scowl at Ryan even though he was still blushing. 

“Menace,” he muttered under his breath as he turned back around, “I think this open room up ahead is what we’re looking for.”

Ryan came forward to peek around him. He was unsure, but it looked to be an abandoned control station of some sort. It looked unoccupied, but they both pulled weapons as they crept forward. It was indeed unoccupied, thankfully, but Jeremy halted suddenly before they fully entered the room. He carefully stepped over the laser trip wire and into the room. 

The room was mostly barren, but did have some ancient looking control panels. There was a direct exit from the place via a ladder not unlike the one they’d used to get down there. There were also six paths branching from the room, each essentially identical. 

They moved silently, Ryan going for the control panels while Jeremy went for the nearest path. Neither knew what the other was doing, but that’s not what they got paid for anyway. While Ryan noted the control panel seemed operational but unconnected, Jeremy found the tunnel they wanted, though not the one he’d necessarily been looking for.

“Ry, this way!” He whispered urgently, gesturing for him to follow.

He was already leaving, nearly jogging down the tunnel while Ryan caught up with him. His shoulders were tensed and his grip on his gun was so tight his knuckles went white. Ryan wondered if it was possible for him to snap the gun into pieces. If anyone could, it’d be Jeremy. He looked so hurried, his body language screaming nervousness and anger.

_Gavin, we accidentally found the path to Gavin. Shit._ Ryan considered trying to stop Jeremy, afraid they were walking into a trap, but Jeremy was too focused, too angry. He wouldn’t go back quietly and Ryan didn’t want to find another reason to start a fight. It felt like maybe they were getting somewhere. He didn’t want to fuck it up so soon.

“I got one for ya,” Gavin’s voice echoed through the place, “Million dollars, but you have to live down here forever. Like a ninja turtle.”

Ryan actually smiled a bit. _Fucking idiot._ They stopped at a junction and Jeremy peeked around the corner. Ryan peeked with him to see that after about ten feet of identical tunnel, there was a large open room. It almost looked like a dungeon as it was lined with cell doors. Gavin was standing in one of them looking entirely bored as he tried to coax the guard into answering his question. Jeremy and Ryan both swept their eyes over the room, checking how many guards there were. They ducked back.

Jeremy pointed at himself, then around the corner. Ryan frowned and shook his head. Distractions were no good if he couldn’t enter from a different direction. Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose, looking irritated. He pulled out his phone to type a message and turned it to him.

_If I pretend to be one of them, I can get further in the room and we can flank them._

Ryan rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. Tactically perhaps he was correct in trying a flank. However, it depended solely on Jeremy’s ability to bluff his way in. Ryan knew he was pretty good, but there was nearly a dozen guys in there. Suddenly, before Ryan could disagree with the plan, Jeremy turned back to the corner and walked away. Ryan almost ducked out to snatch him back, but knew it was too late.

“Hey, anyone getting service?” Jeremy grumbled as he entered the room, “I’ve been all over. No place has signal.”

The guards looked surprised, but dismissed him as one of them quickly. They all replied in the negative as he traipsed across the room. 

“Boring,” he muttered as he took up position near Gavin’s cell, “Then again, I guess they don’t let us live to give us a fun life.”

Ryan frowned from where he waited as a wave of amused agreeing noises sounded through the room, echoing on the cold concrete. _Let us live? What did these guys do to Jeremy?_ Ryan felt a surge of anger. After they got Gavin back, Fake AH was going to kill every last one of them.

Jeremy tried to lean casually, but he felt like his insides were shrinking. His tongueless “brother” was hanging from the ceiling. Luckily for Gavin, he was hanging out of his eye-line, but Jeremy was struggling not to openly stare. He’d forgotten just how cruel the Observatory was to failures. Jeremy wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He needed to get Gavin out and worry about it later. 

“So newcomer,” Gavin spoke up, “Million dollars, but you can only ever work alone.”

_Are you alone?_

“What, not even my partner?” Jeremy scoffed.

_I’ve got Ryan with me._

“Okay, you can work with them,” Gavin conceded, “But you’re completely cut off from communication except by a really stupid elaborate process.”

_No automatic alerts to the Observatory._

“Well, then I’d say let’s do it,” Jeremy answered.

He slid in front of Gavin to protect him as Ryan moved forward. They unleashed fire on the unsuspecting guards, dropping less than half before any of them had a chance to process. The good thing about Observers was that they rarely ever had firearms on them. The bad thing was they were really good at moving out of the way of hits and they always had more annoying weapons. Gavin was taking his lock pick and his ankle piece as he dropped two more running at him. Jeremy would never understand how Gavin could shoot with one hand and pick with the other. _We all have our talents, don’t we?_

They were down 8, leaving only four, split halfway between Ryan and Jeremy. Jeremy needed to reload. He dropped his gun, blocking the Observer on the right by grabbing their wrist. He smashed them against the bars where Gavin promptly shot them before Jeremy threw up his arms, crossing them to guard against the Observer coming straight at him. 

He grunted, surprised by the amount of force behind the hit. He sent his leg in a front kick that they caught. That he expected. He grabbed the bars behind him and jumped, swinging his boot at the guy’s face. The guy ducked and surged forward, bending Jeremy’s other leg at the knee. Jeremy pushed off his hands, changing tactics. He hooked his leg over the guy’s shoulder, using the momentum to send the guy back. He stumbled and Jeremy sent both fists down on his head to send him the rest of the way to the ground. 

Jeremy’s throat tightened as he felt a blade stab at his right kidney. Pain seared through his body and he went dizzy. He weakly tried to lift his hand for a punch, but the guy’s head exploded before it could land and do no damage. He tipped forward, dropping to his palms to crawl away. 

“Fucking dicknuts,” he whispered hoarsely.

Hands were on him, pulling him to his feet. Ryan was holding him, they were moving quickly. He groaned in pain. _Need to tell..._

“R-Ryan...” He croaked, “‘M fine... no... kidney... ’M fine.”

Ryan responded, but he couldn’t hear him properly. He buried his face in Ryan’s neck and floated in and out of consciousness.

“No, he doesn’t have his right kidney,” Ryan’s voice was nearby.

He was being jostled, moved around. He whimpered, clutching at the sheets below him. Everything was white, he was on his stomach. 

“N-no...pl-please...” he whispered tearfully.

Ryan’s eyes burned with the desire to sob as he saw Jeremy panic.

“He’s fighting the drugs,” one of the medics said, “You need to comfort him.”

Ryan hesitated before he gripped Jeremy’s hand. _What do I say?_

Jeremy felt Ryan’s hand squeeze him and all fear dissipated. He was safe. He went to sleep.

Ryan felt like his whole body was squeezing. The look of contentment, trust, and relief on Jeremy’s face as he relaxed into the drugs sent a pulse of emotion through him. He squeezed his eyes closed. _He trusts me so fucking much, why can’t I trust him properly?!_

**Two and a Half Years Ago**

_You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it._

Jeremy mouthed the quote from where he’d bent himself over the control panel. He was essentially putting his ass on display for Vagabond, his favorite pastime. He hummed thoughtfully at the quote and glanced at Vagabond. The man was staring at him as he usually did when they worked together. He got the feeling the man didn’t trust him, but really who could blame him? _You work in this kind of field, trust is a precious commodity that must be properly earned._

“Do you feel like that?” Jeremy asked, “You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it. Do you ever feel like that?”

Vagabond looked at the screen. He looked thoughtful, Jeremy thought, but it was hard to tell with said mask. 

“Yes,” the man finally answered.

Jeremy turned his head to fully look at him. He was surprised the man answered at all, let alone with what seemed to be the truth. 

“Behind this mask there is more than just flesh,” Vagabond recited, “Beneath this mask there is an idea and ideas are bulletproof.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows raised. That was more words than the Vagabond had spoken to him in the entirety of their previous interactions. He turned back to Jeremy and as they locked eyes, Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest. _Oh no. I’ve caught feelings for the fucking Vagabond._ He turned away to watch the screen, his face flushing.

“Should’ve known you’d be a “V for Vendetta” fan,” he joked, nervously trying to change the subject.

“Oh?” The man prompted.

Jeremy glanced at him again, but didn’t let his gaze linger on the man’s intense eyes.

“Yeah, you’re just like him,” Jeremy explained, “Mask, mysterious, always speaking in oddly poetic words or riddles, vigilante type.”

Vagabond snorted at the last one.

“Oh, that kitten last week?” Jeremy teased, “You had nefarious intent in protecting it?”

Vagabond looked away with an annoyed puff of air.

“I’m not a _complete_ monster,” he muttered bitterly.

“Whatever you say, _V_ ,” Jeremy laughed.

Vagabond looked at him a moment and a tiny laugh puffed out of him. Jeremy’s stomach fluttered. _A laugh!_

“V, huh?” The man mused, “Alright then.”

Jeremy grinned widely at him, reveling in the pleased amusement of the other man. Maybe he’d become with friends with the man after all. 


	22. Chapter 22

Jeremy groaned as he woke up.

“Fuckin ow,” he grunted, “Again with the kidney.”

“The Observatory took your kidney,” Ryan commented from somewhere to his left.

Jeremy frowned at him, eyes blinking out sleep in an attempt to focus.

“How did you know that?” He questioned.

“You said “again” just now,” Ryan pointed out, “Implying you had trauma to your kidney with them before. Since it’s missing...”

He trailed off, letting the thought finish for itself. Jeremy grunted, hand going to the bandages over the wound. Jeremy wanted to tell him. Wanted to share his whole story. He turned back to look up at the ceiling. Wanted to more than anything. Wanted to tell Ryan everything. 

But unfortunately, Ryan already had a fierce possessiveness towards him. Ryan viewed him as his possession, which was alright with Jeremy, but the Observatory wasn’t just a bunch of assholes in a basement. And if he knew everything, he would probably be at the Observatory’s front door before Jeremy could blink. He couldn’t beat them. Not even the Vagabond could take them out.

Yet he still wanted to share things with Ryan. It was nice to feel close to someone who understood having such big secrets. And he liked that it was Ryan. Liked to connect with him. He couldn’t share everything, but maybe he could share a little.

“I...wanted to leave,” he finally said, quietly, “The Observatory requires an exit fee: flesh.”

It was quiet a moment before Ryan reached over and took his hand. He squeezed it gently. Jeremy noted the brace on his other hand. Not exactly a cast, so maybe it wasn’t as broken as Jeremy had suspected. That was a relief.

“Ask me something,” Ryan blurted, suddenly, “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

Jeremy looked up to him in surprise. His face was screwed up in anxiety, like it physically pained him to trust Jeremy enough to give him a free pass. That meant more than anything Jeremy could’ve learned about him. The fact he was making himself do it and the fact he didn’t even guard his face was a show of connection, of love, of trust that tightened Jeremy’s throat. 

“An exchange?” He tried to joke lightly to ease the tension.

Ryan nodded sharply. Jeremy didn’t want to know that much. Well, he did, but he hated that Ryan looked so pained by it. He knew how he felt, forced to keep so many terrible secrets, reluctant to share past the surface. Jeremy didn’t want to ask too much from him. Not this time, not the first time he showed this amount of trust towards him. 

“Okay, then,” Jeremy hummed, thoughtfully, “What’s your middle name?”

Ryan’s face cleared from anxiety to confusion and Jeremy felt a knot in his stomach release. Still a personal question, just without the weight of a memory or a trauma. Most likely anyway. Ryan seemed to catch on and understood what he was doing. He gave him a tiny thankful smile. 

“It’s Ryan.”

~

With Gavin back, the entire crew (including the behind the scenes guys) breathed a sigh of relief. He was a bit bruised, but he was safe, that’s all that mattered. Their relief was short lived however, as the heist and the coming shitstorm turned the place into a circus. They still wanted the book before the Observatory got it, even more so after their audacity to kidnap one of them.

Jeremy especially was extremely busy. He was balls deep in blueprints, scheming, and tiny details. He was exhausted, overworked, and extremely stressed out. Everyone noticed his irritable behavior, but it was Geoff and Jack who took action. 

“Yo, Ry, a word?” Geoff called into the library.

Ryan rubbed his face tiredly as he followed Geoff to his office. The sound of the door locking behind him woke him up completely. He spun around to see Jack blocking the exit. She had a very grim look on her face. Ryan turned back to Geoff to demand an explanation.

“You’re fucking Jeremy tonight,” Geoff stated firmly, “The rest of the crew will be out of the house all night. We’ll get back around 4am.”

Ryan just stared at him for a second.

“Are you serious?” He questioned, “You can’t be.”

“Deadly serious,” Geoff answered, “He needs whatever the fuck it is you give him.”

Ryan smirked with a snort.

“You know what I meant!” Geoff snapped, going a bit red, “Just fuck him before he breaks more shit. He crushed Gavin’s favorite computer mouse yesterday.”

Ryan rolled his eyes.

“I don’t fuck Jeremy for Gavin’s benefit,” He grunted.

_In fact, I would prefer to dice Gavin into pieces for ever touching him._

“Then do it for his,” Geoff insisted, “The kid is stressed as fuck and we can tell from you, he hasn’t gotten any in awhile.”

“13 days,” Ryan blurted without thinking.

Jack snorted behind him and Geoff rolled his eyes.

“Just fuck him,” he muttered tiredly, “I don’t give a fuck as long as you’re not hurting each other.”

Ryan glanced away with a nervous look.

“Fucking Christ,” Geoff grunted, “Not hurting each other in ways you don’t like, okay?”

Ryan nodded curtly. They cared about Jeremy and even though it looked like it physically pained Geoff to have this conversation, he still did it for Jeremy’s benefit. They let him go, telling him what time they were leaving and he walked down the hallway, scheming. _How do I get Jeremy to lose the bet while still fucking him tonight?_

~

“Ry, I’m...busy,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan didn’t halt his fluttery kisses up Jeremy’s neck. He nipped playfully here and there, but kept his touches light. He was going to drive Jeremy insane and he had hours to do so. 

“Well, you better focus then,” Ryan taunted, turning Jeremy’s face back towards the screen, “Don’t want to mess up, do you?”

Jeremy grunted in frustration. _He’s doing this on purpose. He’s trying to play the long con. Fucking asshole. Okay, if we’re playing, we’re playing for keeps, dickbag._

“Excuse me,” Jeremy said, standing abruptly, “I need to pee.”

Ryan smirked as he watched him heading for the door.

“Jerking off counts, don’t forget,” he called smugly. 

Jeremy almost stopped to flip him off. No, he had a goal now. He got to his room and started digging through his drawers. Where the hell had he put them? 

“Looking for these?” Ryan commented casually.

Jeremy blushed fifty shades of oops as he turned to see Ryan leaning against the door frame. He was holding the purple troublemakers in one hand, smirking at Jeremy. _Shit._ He’d planned for Jeremy’s usual tactic. 

“I don’t suppose you’d give those to me?” Jeremy tried.

Ryan’s grin was the stuff of nightmares. Jeremy suppressed a shiver.

“I’d love to,” Ryan answered, “One condition though.”

_Oh no._

“You wear only these,” he finished.

Jeremy wanted to strangle him. These fucking panties were his best bet to get Ryan to crack first. But the absolute humiliation he’d feel wearing nothing but them would probably only aid in getting him to crack first. _Hm. Think think think._ Jeremy suddenly had an idea. Whether it would help or hinder him, he had no idea, but suddenly it was the only thing in his head and he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He walked towards Ryan slowly, eyes trailing to his hips. Were his hips slimmer than Jeremy’s? Once he was close enough, he plucked the panties from his hand. Ryan grinned triumphantly at him while Jeremy spread them out. He held them up to Ryan’s hips and hummed thoughtfully.

“Wh-What are you d-doing?” Ryan sputtered, shoving at his hands.

“Thinking,” Jeremy murmured, “Of just how pretty you’d look in purple.”

Ryan shuddered, trying to lean away from him. Jeremy looked up at his blushing face.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, tone slow and soft, “Can’t take what you give?”

Ryan grunted at him in annoyance, looking away.

“Wow, mighty vagabond,” Jeremy taunted, “Can’t wear an innocent pair of underwear. Very embarrassing.”

Ryan’s face exploded in anger and embarrassment, going completely red. 

“I c-can wear them!” He huffed, “I-I’m just-! They won’t f-fit! Th-they’re yours!” 

“Well, come on then,” Jeremy coaxed, “Let me see your cute little package all wrapped up for me. If you can handle it.”

Ryan huffed out more annoyed grunts, face the shade of tomato and eyes darting around, conflicted. It was like he could tell he was being tricked, but his pride stopped him from backing down. Finally he broke and snatched the panties from Jeremy and pushed past him into his room. Jeremy grinned widely as he turned and closed his door behind him. He watched closely as Ryan toed off his shoes and dropped his jeans and boxers. 

_Damn he has nice legs,_ Jeremy thought idly as Ryan hesitated. Jeremy raised his eyebrows at him and he puffed out an annoyed sigh and stepped into the panties. Jeremy had to admit, they looked pretty good. Though he struggled to get them to fit over his dick. A fact that annoyed the shit out of Jeremy. He tugged at the satin a moment before they were mostly correct and then clenched his fists at his sides. 

“They don’t fit,” He grumbled, annoyed, “T-told you.”

“Turn around,” Jeremy muttered, stepping towards him.

Ryan’s fists clenched and unclenched at his sides as he turned around. He shivered as Jeremy’s fingers traced the lace on the bottom edges. Jeremy held onto his hips and turned him, causing him to stumble sideways. Then he shoved him forward with enough force that a startled Ryan couldn’t stop himself from falling. He landed on the bed with a grunt and immediately moved to push himself up.

Jeremy’s hand froze him in place as he cupped his crotch, much the same way Ryan had done to him. He rubbed upwards and over his ass, stopping to grip him tightly. Ryan shuddered. This was entirely new territory for him, but thus far he was very happy to be there. He peeked over his shoulder at Jeremy trying to determine what exactly he was going to do. 

Jeremy was staring pretty intently between his legs, head tilted as though he wasn’t totally sure what he was seeing. He let go of his ass to trail down to Ryan’s thigh which he groped briefly. He moved his hand back to Ryan’s hip and pushed him over, turning him until he was on his back. Ryan immediately tried to close his thighs, embarrassed, but Jeremy shoved them back open with a growl that sent shudders through Ryan. 

Ryan’s dick was fully out of the panties and Jeremy thought that was better than them bulging trying to contain it. He rubbed his hands up Ryan’s thighs as he bent low to lick the precum dribbling down Ryan’s cock. Ryan groaned, his hands fisting into the sheets as Jeremy’s tongue licked up his shaft and swiped over the head. 

_Don’t grab his head! Don’t grab his head! Don’t grab his head!_ He silently urged himself. He didn’t want a repeat of Jeremy nearly suffocating on him. Jeremy hummed as he mouthed against his cock and they locked eyes. Ryan’s hips jerked up with a whiny moan and Jeremy smirked. 

He got up onto the bed, his thighs crowding up against the backs of Ryan’s. One of Ryan’s hands went to his mouth and he bit at his knuckle as he watched Jeremy unfasten his belt. _Is he going to...?_ Ryan’s face flushed and he bit back a moan. Jeremy pulled himself out and Ryan’s moan forced its way out. Jeremy looked up at him with a smirk. 

He took the hand curling into the sheets and pulled off the glove there before licking across Ryan’s palm in a thick, overly wet swipe. Ryan shuddered as Jeremy’s hand directed his to his dick. Jeremy let him go to grip his in return and Ryan finally got the picture. He leaned over Ryan to nip at his chest through his shirt as their hands moved. His hips jutted against Ryan’s thighs and it was so close to actual fucking that Ryan thought he could pretend if he closed his eyes. 

Their orgasms were timed nearly perfectly and Jeremy’s head laid against his chest for a moment while he caught his breath. Ryan shivered, suddenly feeling very cold and Jeremy leapt into action, cleaning him off and switching his underwear for him. 

He tucked Ryan under his sheets and pulled his hair from his hair tie. He brushed Ryan’s hair which was a new experience for him and loosely braided it before returning it to the hair tie. He sat pressed up against Ryan’s back with his head resting on Ryan’s arm. Ryan curled in on himself, feeling cold and alone.

“Ry, you okay?” Jeremy called softly, “You need more contact?”

Ryan nodded and Jeremy crawled under the sheets to cuddle up against his back. Ryan flopped over and pushed him until they’d reversed positions. He squeezed Jeremy tightly to his chest and pressed his face up to the back of his head. Jeremy relaxed into his arms and Ryan sighed contentedly. _Warm. Soft._

“Mine,” He whispered as he fell asleep.

Jeremy smiled softly and squeezed Ryan’s wrist.

“Mine,” he agreed once again.


	23. Chapter 23

Jeremy woke up to a cold bed and he sort of wished he could say he was surprised. The last time Ryan had been in a submissive position, he hadn’t talked to Jeremy for a week. Unfortunately, they had to talk for the heist. Jeremy didn’t want to push him after such a vulnerable moment. It felt like trying to push through Ryan’s recovery period would just cause him to pull away again.

Ryan needed more aftercare than some, but that was okay with Jeremy. It must’ve taken a lot of trust to be that open in front of him. It didn’t seem unreasonable for Ryan to be distrustful of the situation. His last sexual relationship no doubt caused him to double back on his already prominent trust issues. 

Jeremy wondered if he was like Ray as he turned over to look at the empty space in the bed. He winced as his stitches pulled a bit. They need to come out. He shrugged it off and went back to his musings.

He certainly didn’t _look_ like Ray. Did he act like him? He tried to remember the few times he’d met him. He didn’t think he did. His thoughts were distracted by a piece of paper on the pillow Ryan’s head had been on. He pushed up on one elbow and swiped the paper from the pillow, flipping it open.

_I’m sorry. I had to run out. I promise I wasn’t trying to ditch you._

_-Ryan_

Jeremy smiled softly, rubbing his thumb over the signature. Maybe his recovery would be shorter this time. He reached over and put the note in his nightstand, not wanting to lose it. He buried his face in the pillow which still vaguely smelled like Ryan’s cologne and settled in to go back to sleep.

~

Ryan grunted in annoyance. He had a fucking tail. Of course he did. Geoff’s strict buddy system was in place for a reason. The first time in two weeks he’d stepped out alone and he immediately got a tail. He shifted to keep himself steady with one hand as he groped around for his phone with the other. He pressed the phone to his ear as he noted two more cars fell in. _Shit._

_“As he came into the window,”_

Jeremy jumped as Ryan’s ringtone went off.

_“It was the sound of a crescendo.”_

He flailed, trying to find his pants.

_“He came into her apartment,”_

He fell half off his bed, his hand diving into his pants for his phone.

_“He left bloods-“_

“Ryan?” He interrupted by answering the call, “What’s wrong?”

Ryan puffed a sigh of relief. He’d started to wonder if he was going to answer.

“I have a parade,” he answered, “I was wondering if you could come help me clear them out.”

Jeremy scrambled to his feet grabbing for his pants.

“What, they don’t have a permit?” He joked as he tripped and fell, “Shit! Ow!”

Ryan’s laugh over the phone helped calm down his nervousness and he got his pants on.

“Where are you?” He asked as he yanked on some shoes.

“Fifth,” Ryan answered curtly, “We might need backup. I’ve got five cars on me.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jeremy muttered as he jogged from the room, “I’m hitting the alarm.”

“No, it’s not that bad,” Ryan assured him, “Uh, maybe bring a lot of artillery though.”

“Fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, but you love me,” Ryan teased, “Well, see ya soon!”

He hung up as Jeremy snatched one of the emergency artillery duffles and tossed it into the FMJ. He shot a quick text to Jack before peeling out. 

_Just a heads up in case we die, Battle Buddies are dealing with a parade._

He sped down the road as she replied.

_What, no permit?_

Jeremy laughed out loud.

~

“Hey, handsome,” Jeremy called out the window, “You goin my way?”

They were close enough he could see Ryan’s brightly amused eyes behind the mask. The roar of their engines and the sound of the wind whipping past was almost deafening, but Jeremy was far too alive to worry about going deaf. Ryan glanced over his shoulder at the procession behind them before looking back at Jeremy.

“Dunno, what’s your way?” He shouted.

“Well, I have some C-4,” Jeremy offered, grinning widely. 

Ryan was grinning so wide his face hurt. And he was fucking rock hard. He wasn’t sure which of them was bending over after this, but someone was. Jeremy tossed him C-4 and they split up to stick them to the cars tailing them. _Weird that they’re just letting it happen,_ Ryan noted. _Not a single one of them has pulled a gun,_ Jeremy noticed. _What the hell is going on?_

They slowed down, carefully dodging the cars to get behind them before they blew. They came to a stop as Jeremy hit the button, triggering five explosions. Again, they appeared completely unaffected. No panicked swerving, no fishtailing. They just stopped as the cars blew up. _Weird._ They shrugged at each other.

“Hey, Ry?” Jeremy called out.

“Yeah, Jer?” Ryan called back.

“First one home tops,” He shouted before slamming the gas.

Ryan grinned as he twisted the throttle. _Oh, I really like playing with Jeremy._ Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) for Jeremy, Ryan was on a bike, easily maneuvered and able to take short cuts the FMJ couldn’t handle. Jeremy pulled in seconds after Ryan with an annoyed grunt. _Goddamnit, I lost._ Which suddenly reminded him of their previous bet. _Oh no. I technically lost that one too. Damnit!_

Ryan was at the door of the car, yanking him out before he could wallow too long in regret. He slammed Jeremy over the hood and Jeremy grunted before trying to crawl over it. Ryan growled out that new primal sound that sent sparks through Jeremy’s lower body, and yanked him back towards him. He pinned one thigh to the side of the car with a knee and Jeremy heard his belt being unfastened. _Shit._

He bit down on his lip, trying to stop the moan running full tilt towards his lips. Ryan looped the belt around his wrists and manhandled him into the proper position. Jeremy drew blood with how hard he was trying not to moan. _No, no, no! He’s already won, don’t give him more, the fucking smug bastard!_

He had Jeremy’s jeans open when he suddenly halted. He turned and opened the sliding door of the van behind him and shoved Jeremy inside before hopping in and closing the door. Jeremy opened his mouth to ask “what the fuck”, but Ryan covered it with one hand and put a finger to his own lips. Jeremy tried to swallow the moan that built up in his throat. Ryan’s eyes flicked downwards where Jeremy’s boner was poking him in the hip and he smirked. 

Jeremy blushed brilliant red in embarrassment. Before he had the chance to tell Ryan off, he heard the sound of the garage door opening. Someone called into the garage, but Jeremy’s blood was busy rushing to his dick. _Ryan’s just kidnapped me, I’m helpless. Oh god._

The moan didn’t make it out of him, instead turning into a groan that vibrated from somewhere in his throat. Ryan suddenly moved, groping around off somewhere that Jeremy couldn’t see from his position. He leaned back and held up what he’d been looking for: a roll of duct tape. He raised one eyebrow at Jeremy who rapidly, frantically nodded. Ryan’s grin was as wide as a shark’s as he tore off a piece and slapped it over Jeremy’s mouth. Jeremy groaned again, body pulsing with white hot desire.

“Fucking whore,” Ryan growled as he pulled off Jeremy’s jeans, “I’ve just kidnapped you, tied you up, and essentially gagged you. You know what I’m going to do to you and yet.”

He reached down and yanked Jeremy’s boxers down, revealing Jeremy’s boner. Jeremy’s blush came back full force and he tried to hike one leg up to cover himself. Ryan looked down on his squirming with an amused smirk. Jeremy’s cock was leaking out precum at an embarrassing rate and behind Ryan’s smirk, saliva filled his mouth. Jeremy shuddered as the smirk went wider into Ryan’s predatory grin. _He’s going to fucking eat me._

Jeremy groaned as Ryan dove down and lapped up the precum from his shaft before sinking down on him. Jeremy sucked in a sharp gasp through his nose and groaned against the tape. _Wet._ Drool dripped from Ryan down Jeremy’s cock, absolutely coating it in his saliva. 

Jeremy shivered, his hips twitching up. Ryan drooled a lot. Why the fuck that was the case, Jeremy didn’t know, but he was not complaining as Ryan bobbed up and down him. More spit was more lube and it made Ryan move more smoothly. Jeremy groaned urgently, his hips bouncing up to meet Ryan’s warm, wet mouth. He whined when Ryan pulled away, the air around him freezing on his wet dick. 

“Adorable,” Ryan teased.

Jeremy looked away, his face burning. _Fucking asshole._ Ryan moved him, putting his ass in the air and his face on the carpeted floor of the van. Jeremy moaned at being manhandled again, though it never made it past the tape. Ryan slid two fingers in him without incident and it actually took Jeremy a second to realize they were dry. A slight burn pulsed up from his ass as Ryan worked more dry fingers in him. Jeremy’s knees slid out and his back dipped. _Yes, make me take it, don’t make it easy, yes yes yes!_

“Still g-green?” Ryan grunted, sounding strained.

Jeremy nodded awkwardly and rocked his ass back. Ryan groaned and he fingered Jeremy more urgently. His hands were shaking by the time he thought it was good enough. He clumsily slicked up his cock with lube and pushed inside Jeremy. He groaned and panted with the effort to stop himself from snapping forward and tearing something. Jeremy, however, had other ideas.

He glared over his shoulder at Ryan’s focused face, drawn up with pleasure and worry. Jeremy only wanted to see pleasure. He shoved back against him, his scream muffled by the tape. Ryan hissed, grabbing at Jeremy’s hip to steady himself. Jeremy huffed urgently through his nose. _Fuck that hurts!_ It burned and stung and throbbed up from where they were connected. Tears burned down his face from the pain. He recalled what Ryan said the first time they’d done this.

_ I want to shove my cock in you with the bare minimum of lube. I want to make your ass tear around me. I want you to fucking cry. _

He certainly seemed to be enjoying the fulfillment of this fantasy as Jeremy watched him over his shoulder. His face was contorted into a pained expression with one hand over his mouth and his eyes squeezed closed. The other hand was leaving bruises on his hip. His body was shaking with the effort not to move. Jeremy groaned. _Fuck he loves it._ Jeremy rocked back and forth a few times and Ryan’s other hand snapped to his other hip. 

“F-fuck!” He hissed, “Please fucking tell me I can move!”

Jeremy grinned under the tape as he rocked back and forth more, easing up to longer strokes. Ryan was growl-moaning again, his body trembling against Jeremy. His face had dropped into a desperate grimace as he forced himself to stay still. Jeremy’s body shuddered with desire. He wanted to make him snap, lose control, wanted to know how long he could last.

He last right up until Jeremy accidentally fucked his prostate onto his dick. He shrieked in surprise as hot pleasure spiked up him. Ryan shoved his hips forward at the same angle getting another muffled shriek in return. He grabbed a handful of Jeremy’s hair and yanked him up until his back was pressed against Ryan’s front, his arms sandwiched awkwardly between them. Ryan chomped down on his neck, the growling moan vibrating against Jeremy’s skin. He bit again and again and again while he fucked roughly into Jeremy, jabbing and sliding over his prostate with every thrust. 

Jeremy choked and whimpered as he felt himself tensing towards his orgasm. Ryan shoved him back down, one hand pressed to his upper back and the other gripping the base of his cock to stop him from cumming. He rutted frantically into him, panting harshly. Then he pulsed inside Jeremy and let go of his cock. They came near-simultaneously and he leaned forward to rip off the tape so Jeremy could catch his breath. 

They gasped, trying to catch their breath and Ryan pressed tiny kisses over the bites as though to soothe the pain he caused. Jeremy grinned, feeling fuzzy and warm. He barely registered Ryan pulling off the belt or cleaning him up. He was only half awake when Ryan pulled his boxers and jeans back up. He carefully tipped him on his side and brushed a hand through his hair. Jeremy smiled softly and put his hand over Ryan’s. 

“Mine,” He whispered.

Ryan’s eyebrows rose in surprise as Jeremy fell asleep, but his face brightened in a smile.

“Mine,” he agreed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: PTSD and panic attacks

Ryan watched Jeremy climb the wall with ease. _Maybe he doesn’t need the gift._ He swung up to the top and then backflipped down, rolling when he hit the mat. He jumped up, his eyes popping open and he practically bounced over to Ryan. Ryan felt a spike of warmth in his guts and he smiled back.

“Heya, V!” Jeremy greeted cheerfully, “What’s up?”

“I have something for you,” Ryan explained, pulling the case from his jacket, “This is what I was out for this morning.”

He held the case out and Jeremy’s eyebrows went up. _Another gift? He sure is getting a lot of them._ He clicked open the case and flipped the lid back. Inside was a pair of brightly colored knee pads and gloves. Jeremy picked up the right hand glove. _Lizard skin._ It was from the Iguana protect. 

The base of it was purple with patches of yellow and darker purple spots that sort of looked like leopard print. The inner fabric was orange and monogrammed on the back of the hand was “Rimmy” in matching orange thread. There was a strap on the wrist that ended in yellow snap button on the side of the wrist. He popped it open and wiggled his hand inside. He snapped the button closed again and flexed his hand.

It fit perfectly. Not restrictive and breathed incredibly well. No excess fabric bunches around the fingers. No stiffness. It was perfect. He pulled the left hand glove out as well, snapping that on. The leopard like patterns were asymmetrical between the gloves, but he liked it like that. The only other difference between the gloves was that “Tim” was monogrammed on the left glove. 

He pulled out the knee pads, strapping them on as well. They weren’t monogrammed, but other than that were quite similar to the gloves. He lifted his leg, bending his knee. No stiffness there either. He could wear them under his pants if he wanted to. Not jeans, but definitely his climbing gear. He finally looked back up at Ryan who was watching nervously. Jeremy grinned, hopping up to grab him around the shoulders into an enthusiastic hug.

“Ryan! I love them!” He cheered, “You had them made just for me?!”

Ryan smiled, looking relieved and nodded. He stowed the case to hold Jeremy around the waist. Jeremy grinned at him.

“Thank you!” He cried, trying to hold back tears, “This means so much to me!”

Ryan nodded, still smiling softly at him. _Of course he knew that,_ Jeremy thought fondly. He was suddenly reminded of the silk ropes. He’d figured it out, did that mean...

“Did you...get me something else just for me?” Jeremy asked hopefully.

Ryan frowned.

“Like what?” He prompted.

“Th-the ropes?” Jeremy tried, hesitantly, “Isn’t that how you knew?”

Ryan squinted at him in confusion. _Oh._ The ropes didn’t help him figure it out. So then they hadn’t been replaced. He deflated a bit, feeling disappointed. Oh, well, at least he had gear all his own. 

“Do you mean the climbing ropes?” Ryan asked, “I got them as you requested.”

Now it was Jeremy’s turn to look confused.

“Requested? When did I request the climbing ropes?” He questioned.

“When you pulled me up,” Ryan recalled, “You said I’d better get you your own purple ropes afterward. So I ordered them custom made.”

Jeremy covered his burning face with gloved hands.

“R-Ry!” He choked, “Th-those weren’t the ropes I meant!”

Ryan stared at him, trying to get his brain to catch up. Then what ropes? He thought back to the incident and something clicked. Jeremy had a boner when Ryan got to the top. He meant bondage ropes. Ryan’s face went red and he buried it in Jeremy’s shoulder.

“S-sorry,” he mumbled, “I thought you meant...oh god, I’m an idiot.”

Jeremy snorted into his chest.

“Jesus, we’re a mess, aren’t we?” He laughed.

“Definitely,” Ryan agreed, “It’s no fucking wonder we fight so much. We can’t communicate for shit.”

Jeremy’s next laugh came out bitter and he pressed closer to Ryan. He squeezed him around the middle before pulling away just enough to stretch up and kiss him. Ryan responded immediately, pressing him closer and leaning over him. Ryan was romance movie kissing him, long and gentle and sweet while practically dipping him in place. He pulled off and rested his forehead against Jeremy’s. Jeremy could feel Ryan’s heart hammering through his chest. He swallowed nervously. 

“Ry, do you...love me?” He whispered.

Ryan went stiff.

_“Ry, do you...love me?” Ray asked, tone soft._

_Ryan’s heart pounded in his chest as the gun shifted to press more firmly under his chin. Yes, he did. Even after all this, he loved him. He tried to blink back the tears. He wanted to love him and to be loved by him. The gun pulled away and Ray grinned evilly at him. He picked up one of Ryan’s butterfly knives and held it in front of Ryan’s eyes as he twirled it around._

_“Prove it,” He whispered, holding out the knife, “Prove it and I may let you live.”_

_He pressed the cold steel against Ryan’s left nipple. Ryan shuddered and took the knife. Did he want to prove it or did he just want to live? Ray stepped back to watch, gun pointed at his face._

_“Show me you love me, baby,” He cooed, overly sweet and syrupy._

“Ryan?!” Jeremy’s voice was muffled like he was in a fog.

_Ryan pressed the metal to his skin._

“Ryan, can you hear me??!” Jeremy shouted, “Ryan, snap out of it!!”

_Did he want to prove it or did he just want to live?_

**_ Smack! _ **

Ryan blinked, stumbling a bit. His brain was hazy, but he could see Jeremy was there, holding onto his shoulders. 

“Ry? You back with me?” He called out, “You’re in the gym with me, you’re safe.”

Ryan shivered, wrapping his arms around himself and sort of collapsing in on himself. His breath was coming out a bit frantic now. Jeremy’s hands were on him, pushing him to sit and shoving his head between his knees. _Panic attack? But I haven’t had one since..._

He threw up.

~

Jeremy paced back and forth anxiously. It was a panic attack. He’d had enough of his own to recognize it. Knowing what it was did nothing to quell his unease. Caleb popped out of Ryan’s room and Jeremy halted, eyes snapping to him immediately.

Caleb turned to talk to Geoff while facing away from Jeremy who shifted from foot to foot anxiously. It was a panic attack, he knew this. Why was he so anxious to hear what Caleb had to say? He knew what it was. _Because it’s my fault, I don’t want to hear that it’s my fault._ His eyes stung. He watched Caleb walk past him with an offhanded wave and Geoff waved him over. He nearly sprinted to his side immediately. He opened his mouth to ask a myriad of concerned questions, but Geoff held up his hand.

“He’s alright,” he assured him, “Well, he’s not, but Ryan needs isolation when he’s like this. We have to give him time.”

_Snap!_

Jeremy flinched and looked down at his hand in surprise. _Ow._

“Did you...” Geoff began, “Did you just break your own finger?”

“Uhh, not on purpose?” Jeremy offered.

Geoff put his hands together and took a deep, calming breath.

“You need to start carrying a fidget toy or something,” he muttered, “This is getting insane. Hold on, let me go grab Caleb before he leaves.”

Jeremy nodded and turned to look at Ryan’s door as he left. He put his hands at his sides to stop himself from breaking another finger. Isolation? Was that really what he needed? Geoff seemed to have experience with this. Then Ryan had gotten bad panic attacks before Jeremy had joined main crew. He thought about how angry Ryan used to be all the time. Had he traded panic for anger? Then what had he traded anger for?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a goddamn roller coaster.

Jeremy wasn’t so sure about Geoff’s “leave him be” plan. Isolation is rarely ever a good thing for someone facing mental health problems. But...Geoff had seen this from Ryan before. Technically he should know better than Jeremy. It didn’t stop Jeremy from pacing outside his door all the time though.

He started working from a laptop just so he could wait outside the door for any sign of change. Geoff didn’t stop him until day three when he’d rolled out a sleeping bag. Then he told him to just trust him and Jeremy had a really hard time with that. 

Jeremy struggled to trust people for a reason. And now that he’d seen Ryan’s face during a flashback, he could tell Ryan was just as distrustful for a similar reason. Someone he trusted very deeply betrayed him terribly. If Jeremy were to guess, he’d probably say Ray, considering his not so happy ending with Fake AH. However, Jeremy felt sick any time he started to speculate. It felt wrong, like he was going behind Ryan’s back just by thinking about it.

On the evening of Day 4, around 1am, Jeremy was staring up at his ceiling trying to sleep when he heard something in the hallway. He’d left his door open just in case Ryan left his room in the middle of the night. Jeremy leapt up immediately, hurrying to his doorway to see if it was Ryan. 

It was and he didn’t look great. Grey-faced, sliding along the wall like he couldn’t support his own weight. He needed a shower as well, judging on how his hair looked. He looked like the ghost of a man Jeremy knew. 

“Ryan?” Jeremy called softly.

Ryan immediately changed course, moving towards Jeremy. Jeremy met him halfway, immediately looping an arm around his waist. Ryan leaned heavily on him as they made their way towards the kitchen. Jeremy helped him sit in one of the dining room chairs and got a banana for him to eat and orange juice to drink while he made him some scrambled eggs. 

After he got some color back in his face, Jeremy got a brush and hair tie. Ryan finished his eggs as Jeremy brushed and braided his hair. He definitely needed a shower, but that could wait until he was feeling a bit better. Once the plate was clean, Ryan held it out to Jeremy.

“You want more?” Jeremy guessed.

Ryan nodded and Jeremy puffed a sigh of relief. If he was conscious enough to realize how hungry he was, then he was doing alright. Not great, but they’d get there. Jeremy sat beside him with a thoughtful frown while he ate. 

Who took care of him before? Geoff said to let him be. Did that mean a starving, dehydrated Ryan had to weakly make his own food on nights like this? The way he’d changed course in the hallway, he hadn’t actually looked at Jeremy, just followed his voice. Was he alone all the times this happened before? Had he changed course only because he finally heard a friendly voice in the darkness?

“Jeremy?” 

Ryan’s weak voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Yeah, what do you need, Ry?” Jeremy asked, moving to offer him his hand.

“Why are you crying?” He whispered.

Jeremy rubbed at his eyes. 

“It’s nothing,” he assured him with a smile, “I’m just glad I could help.” 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” Ryan rasped.

“Of course,” Jeremy answered, “You want to sleep in my room?”

Ryan nodded and let Jeremy help him up. He wasn’t leaning on Jeremy so much as just sticking close to his side as they made their way to his room. Ryan made sure the door was closed and locked before crawling into Jeremy’s sheets. Jeremy sent a text to the group chat for when they all inevitably woke up and panicked to find Ryan missing. 

He crawled in beside him and let Ryan pull him up against his chest. Jeremy wondered if not having his back to him made Ryan feel more secure or if he just really preferred to be the big spoon. He smiled fondly, relaxing into his arms. He almost immediately fell asleep, finally assured that Ryan was safe.

~

When Jeremy woke up to a cold bed, he panicked, falling out of the bed in his hurry to get up. Then he heard the sound of his own shower running and laid on the floor a moment, annoyed at himself. 

“You’re an idiot, Jeremy,” he grunted as he pushed himself up.

He hissed in pain at trying to push with his broken finger. _Well, this day is fucked. I’m gonna go ahead and take a mulligan on that._ He crawled back into the still warm spot on his bed and waited for Ryan to come back. 

He was drifting a bit, his brain starting to lean towards sleep and then Ryan came out of his bathroom fucking bare ass naked and suddenly Jeremy was fully awake again. He tried not to obviously stare, but damn that’s hard when you got a fucking naked model in your bedroom. Ryan walked over and sat down. He held Jeremy’s brush out with his hair tie. Jeremy smiled at him softly and sat up. He brushed his hair and braided it a bit tighter than before, but not restrictively.

“It’s not your fault,” Ryan murmured, “The trigger. You couldn’t have known.”

Jeremy wrapped his arms around him and pressed his cheek against his upper back.

“I...have them too,” he muttered, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

Ryan’s hand gripped his wrist. He squeezed his eyes closed and moved Jeremy’s hand up to the scar on the right where he’d hacked off his own nipple. Jeremy’s fingers wiggled and he ran his fingertips over the scar tissue. 

“This is...what you remembered?” He asked quietly.

Ryan nodded shakily. Jeremy suddenly pinched the scar and Ryan jolted in surprise. 

“S-sorry,” Jeremy grunted, “Is it sensitive?”

“N-no, I just...no one’s t-touched them,” Ryan mumbled.

Jeremy smoothed his fingertips over the scar again, causing Ryan to gasp.

“Color?” Jeremy prompted.

Ryan shuddered. _Switch. We’ve switched._ He blushed.

“G-Green,” he breathed.

He leaned back against Jeremy, dropping his head onto his shoulder. Jeremy pressed kisses over his shoulder as his other hand went for the left scar. They were uneven, asymmetrical, and deep. Jeremy rubbed his thumbs across them and Ryan let out a breathy groan.

“You sure they’re not sensitive?” Jeremy teased hotly in his ear, “They look sensitive to me.”

Ryan groaned, clutching at the sheets. Apparently they were. Jeremy rolled the scars between his fingertips, pinched them, ran his fingers across them. He grinned into Ryan’s shoulder as his dick started to rise in his lap. 

“You want me to play with that too?” He cooed, kissing his neck.

Ryan nodded, jerkily. Jeremy leaned over to grab lube and warmed it up between his fingers before wrapping his hand around his cock. Ryan groaned, gripping Jeremy’s forearm as he slowly jerked him off. He whined, jerking his hips up in Jeremy’s hand.

“Faster?” Jeremy prompted.

Ryan’s free hand moved in circles over his chest while he nodded eagerly. Sign language? Jeremy sped up his pace and Ryan’s hand moved to his chin. “Thank you”, that was a sign anyone could read. _He’s gone nonverbal. Is that good or bad?_ It looked good, considering the way Ryan’s body flexed and bent in his arms. 

“You want to cum?” Jeremy whispered in his ear.

Ryan nodded rapidly.

“Ask nicely,” Jeremy ordered, grinning.

Ryan’s hand went back to his chest, confirming the circles he was making were “please”. Jeremy firmed his grip and moved with purpose. _Come on, baby, give me some noises now._ Ryan growled out a moan and Jeremy shuddered. _So raw._ He pressed kisses against Ryan’s skin as his panting became more urgent. His body shuddered and he moaned again as he came on Jeremy’s hand. He relaxed against Jeremy who fumbled for tissues to clean him up. 

“You need a nap, sleepy?” He teased, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s cheek.

He made a gesture over his chest with one hand and Jeremy decided he needed to learn sign language.

“I don’t know sign language, baby,” he muttered, annoyed with himself.

“Hungry,” Ryan grunted.

“You want me to make something?” Jeremy offered, “Or we could order something.”

“Town,” Ryan answered, “Other things too.”

“Okay, sweetie,” Jeremy agreed, kissing his temple, “Should I get you clothes?”

Ryan shook his head and finally got up. He rubbed his back and Jeremy snorted something about “old man” and he threw him an unamused look. He grabbed his clothes from the bathroom.

“Wait here,” he ordered as he yanked on his underwear.

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Jeremy answered. 

Ryan stared at him a second.

“Did you just quote My Little Pony?!” He demanded.

Jeremy went completely red.

“Wh-wha-? How did you know that?!” He countered.

Ryan clicked his tongue, looking away. He was also blushing now. Jeremy put his hands over his mouth, trying to stifle wild laughter. He threw a glare at Jeremy as he failed to stop the giggles.

“I will fucking end you,” He growled.

Jeremy choked on laughter.

“Oh my god!” He wheezed, “Vagabond likes MLP! Oh my god!”

“If you tell anyone I will fucking castrate you!” Ryan hissed.

Jeremy waved his hands dismissively as he laughed.

“No way in hell am I telling anyone!” He choked, “That’s all mine now!”

_All mine._ Ryan’s scowl dropped a fraction. _That’s right. We have things just between us._ A warmth pulsed in his chest. 

“They have fun songs,” Jeremy admitted, still grinning, “And their friendship is literal magic.”

Ryan went back to glaring and made to leave.

“Oh, don’t jerk off,” he ordered over his shoulder, “Just wait there.”

Jeremy deflated a bit. How’d he known that was his immediate plan?


	26. Chapter 26

Why the hell had Jeremy ever agreed to that stupid fucking bet?! _Hubris,_ he thought dryly. He squirmed, glaring at Ryan who was between his legs, pushing the infernal device into him. Slowly. Because he was an absolute dickbag.

“Ryan, would you hurry up?!” He growled.

Ryan grinned widely at him.

“Sure,” he answered, “But only if you say something for me.”

_Oh god no._

“Say “My whore ass is greedy”, then I’ll oblige,” He taunted.

Jeremy blushed, looking away. _I mean it is, but fuck you, man! No fucking way am I saying that!_ He scowled. He needed to say something else. Taunt him or tease him or something. Just say anything else!

“It’s just so fucking small!” He grunted.

Not _that!_ Ryan had the widest, most pleased smile on his face. Jeremy covered his burning face.

“Aw, not enough for my cute little whore?” Ryan cooed.

He nipped at Jeremy’s inner thigh, causing him to jump a bit.

“You want something bigger?” He taunted, voice rough, “My greedy little wh-whore isn’t satisfied with s-such a small toy?”

Jeremy whined behind his hands. 

“You’re a menace!” He whimpered.

“And you’re loose,” Ryan fired back, “And fucking rock hard.”

Jeremy squeezed his thighs, trying to hide. Ryan shoved one thigh to the side, pinning it to the bed. Jeremy’s hips twitched up and he groaned as his hands dropped to his mouth so he could look at him.

“Stop trying to hide from me!” Ryan growled, “This is mine! It belongs to me!”

He shoved the other thigh down as well and Jeremy shuddered. Ryan dipped down and bit hard high up on his inner thigh, sucking a mark there before moving on. He licked a wide swipe up Jeremy’s cock and looked up at him with lidded eyes. 

“Tell me who gets to have you,” He ordered, licking again.

“O-only you!” Jeremy whimpered, muffled by his hands.

Ryan moaned, licking again like it was a popsicle, sending shivers through Jeremy. 

“Again,” he groaned, “Tell me again.”

“O-only you get t-to have me-me!” Jeremy sputtered, shaking in need.

“A-again,” he moaned, still licking.

Jeremy jerked upwards, trying to get in Ryan’s mouth. He whined in annoyance.

“Again!” Ryan growled, impatient.

“Y-you, only you!” Jeremy whined.

Ryan bit another mark on his thigh, opposite the first. He ran his hands over Jeremy’s thighs, pressing his thumbs into the marks. Jeremy was still trembling, body flushed in arousal and embarrassment.

“Fuck, look how pretty my little toy is,” Ryan breathed, “So beautiful and slutty just for me.”

Jeremy blushed darker, his hands going back to his face. 

“Hey, baby, look what I got,” Ryan called to him.

Jeremy lowered his hands to see a wild smile on Ryan’s face and something in his hand. Jeremy frowned, squinting at the thing. _What is-?_

**_Bzzzz!_ **

“Fuck my fucking fuck!” Jeremy cried as he arched off the bed.

The toy in his ass buzzed, sending out sparks that ignited in his veins. He moaned, hips trying to press backwards into it. Then the buzzing stopped and he gasped, shivering as he tried to catch his breath. He glared at Ryan.

“Aww, not ready for full power?” Ryan taunted, eyes and voice alight with amusement.

“Wh-when did you-?” Jeremy muttered, “I-I didn’t...f-feel it.”

Ryan grinned and leaned down over him, their lips almost touching.

“Of course you didn’t, baby,” he whispered, “You know why you didn’t. Tell me why you didn’t feel it go in, baby.”

Jeremy bit his lip. _No! He fucking tricked me to try to make me say it!_

**_Bzzzz!_ **

Jeremy arched off the bed again with a cry. 

“Tell me, baby,” Ryan ordered, voice low, “Tell me why you can’t feel it or I’ll make sure you feel _this_ all night.”

Jeremy swore under his breath.

“B-beacause...” he whimpered, squeezing his eyes closed, “Because m-my-my...whore a-ass is greedy.”

The toy stopped and Jeremy panted harshly.

“Good boy,” Ryan purred, leaning down to kiss his neck, “You ready to have a fun night?”

Jeremy puffed out a bitter laugh.

“Fun f-for me or you?” He grumbled.

Ryan’s evil grin as he laughed did nothing to calm him down. Ryan’s eyes flicked down between his legs again and he ran his hands up just thighs like he couldn’t keep his hands or eyes off him. _He’s really excited._ Jeremy’s lips twisted in a smirk. _We’ll see who’s broken down at the end of the night, darling._

~

Their first destination after grabbing some fast food, was a sex shop, for reasons unknown to Jeremy. Also unknown to Jeremy was why Ryan put his arm around his waist and pulled him against his side as they walked in. Was he pretending to be Jeremy’s boyfriend? Was this an undercover thing? _It’d be easier to focus if the thing in my ass wasn’t pulsing every three seconds._

The lower setting made it easier to endure, but also more annoying. It felt like teasing that wasn’t going any where and Jeremy definitely wanted to go somewhere. The fucking bone zone if he could hurry up and get to the end of the night. 

“Hold this, darling,” Ryan instructed.

He took the basket offered to him and trailed after Ryan, glancing around. It was mostly like any other sex store he’d been in, but it looked a bit bigger. Ryan drew his attention by dropping lube into the basket. Yeah, they probably did need a lot of that, even if Jeremy’s ass was a black hole for dicks. 

Next went in condoms, which Jeremy frowned at. They didn’t use those, why did they need them? He raised an eyebrow at Ryan who just winked and moved on. Jeremy rolled his eyes. _I’ll probably find out soon enough_ , he thought bitterly. 

The last thing that went in without consultation from Jeremy were cock rings. He very pointedly did not look at them. His face heated up as ideas formed and shivers ran down his spine. _Oh, dear, I’ve created a monster._

“Okay, you pick,” Ryan prompted, taking the basket from him.

Jeremy turned to where Ryan was gesturing and saw a wall of nothing but bondage rope. He felt the childish urge to hide behind Ryan. They were organized in a rainbow, leaving purple on the end. Lilac, lavender, violet, plum. There was a surprising amount of them. _What is this place, Costco for sex?_

He quickly found electric purple, actually feeling pleased it was there. They were in a box, so he couldn’t feel them, but he still grinned up at Ryan as he dropped them in the basket. 

Meanwhile, Ryan’s dick was on fire. He was throbbing with how bad he wanted to fuck Jeremy against anything or nothing if that’s what it took. Jeremy’s eyes were bright and he bounced a little as though the idea of being tied up in purple was the most exciting thing he could think of. Ryan’s sexual frustration came out in the form of ramping up the vibrator to get a squeak from Jeremy, followed by a string of curses.

“Ryyyy~!” He whined, “You’re being mean!”

Ryan stepped closer and lowered his mouth to Jeremy’s ear.

“Just wait and see,” he whispered, “I can be a lot meaner.”

Jeremy’s body jolted from the words and he quickly stifled a moan being his hand. He was getting sweaty, jittery, anxious. Ryan lifted up and caressed his cheek, concern all over his face.

“I-I’m okay,” Jeremy assured him, “I just...I want to leave.”

“Alright, I’ll go pay,” Ryan answered, “Do you want to wait in the car?”

He held up the keys for Jeremy who nodded gratefully. Ryan ruffled his hair fondly and gave him a gentle kiss before they parted. 

Jeremy hurried towards the car, peeking around the parking lot. Deserted. He sighed with relief and fumbled his jeans open. Just a little bit, he thought, groaning as he rubbed himself. He relaxed quite a bit and his head fell back with relief. _Fucking stupid bet._

His car door opened and he panicked, pulling a knife. Jeremy grumbled, as he almost stabbed Ryan. Ryan gripped one of Jeremy’s wrists and he was dragging him from the car. _Oops_ Jeremy tried to hold up his loose pants as Ryan pulled him around the corner of the building. 

“Bend over,” he ordered.

Jeremy shivered and did as he was told. 

“Palms on the brick.”

Jeremy laid his hands flat on the wall. He glanced at Ryan nervously. He had his arms crossed, face drawn in frustration.

“That was very naughty, Jeremy,” he growled, “Didn’t I tell you to keep your hands off yourself?”

Jeremy nodded, looking away while his face burned. He felt like a scolded child. Ryan yanked his jeans and boxers down and Jeremy shook with the realization of what Ryan was going to do. He whimpered when the first hit landed, open palm to butt. He bit on his lip, trying to stop the raunchy noises that wanted to come out. He smacked Jeremy’s ass until Jeremy finally broke, back dipping as a moan loud enough to echo popped out of his mouth. 

“Fucking whore,” Ryan groaned, “You’d take whatever I’d give you, without d-doubting.”

_Yeah, I’m pretty sure I would._ Ryan pulled his pants back over his ass. Jeremy could only think about what Ryan told him earlier as the stinging and the heat from his ass pulsed almost in time with the vibrator. _I can be a lot meaner._ Jeremy shuddered.

~

By the time the end of the night rolled around, Jeremy was utterly exhausted, the thing in his ass was pulsing way too forcefully. They’d been to every location in Los Santos, Jeremy was pretty sure. Museum. Ice cream shop. Park. Beach. They sat at a little family style restaurant and Jeremy did his best to catch his breath. 

The good news was Ryan looked about ready to explode. His delight was waning and his desire was waxing. It was only a matter of time before he snapped and bent Jeremy over the table. He was vibrating worse than Jeremy and Jeremy had an excuse. Jeremy eyed him out of the corner of his eye.

_Just get some food in him, then get some dick in him. He needs food to live. You’ll fuck him to death if you don’t let him eat first._ Ryan covered his mouth with one hand, remembering the way Jeremy’s body trembled and bent when he spanked him. _Get it together, don’t look at him. Just order-_

His thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his crotch that made his knee jerk up into the table and a squeak to come out of his mouth. He shot a death glare at Jeremy who just grinned like the little shit he was. _Time’s up,_ Ryan decided.

Jeremy’s blood pumped faster and his heart went wild in his chest as Ryan dragged him from the restaurant. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Daddy kink mention!   
> This chapter can mostly be skipped if you so choose, it’s all smut. :P

Ryan shoved Jeremy into the back seat of the car and climbed in after him.

“Th-there definitely is-isn’t room for this,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan responded by reaching under the seat and yanking something. Jeremy yelped as the seat moved, jerking forward into the front seats. Jeremy clutched his chest.

“Couldn’t have warned me?!” He grumbled. 

Ryan grinned like the smug bastard he was. Jeremy looked at the seat to see it was leaning backwards now. 

“You have a fuck lever in your car,” He observed dryly.

Ryan laughed as he pushed the back of the seat down. It clicked into place horizontally, essentially connecting the back seat to the trunk. Jeremy’s jaw dropped, then he connected the dots.

“Ohhh!” He exclaimed, turning towards the trunk, “It’s a _body_ lever. Holy shit!”

He reached his hand through, waving it over the space as though there was some magic trick to be discovered. Ryan laughed again.

“You’re such a dork,” he teased.

Jeremy blushed and smacked his hip.

“R-rude!” He muttered, “Can you get this thing out of me already?!”

Ryan’s amused grin went evil and Jeremy swallowed nervously. 

“O-or not, ha,” He sputtered, shifting backwards, “Th-this is fine t-too.”

Ryan only seemed more amused by Jeremy’s shuffling attempt to escape. He let Jeremy sit up and go for the door handle. It didn’t open. He has child locks on the car. _Oops._ Jeremy’s eyes darted to the front seats, but he had to go through Ryan to get to them. He looked back at Ryan with a nervous chuckle.

“I’m, uh, I’m about to get messed up, aren’t I?” He mumbled.

“Depends,” Ryan answered, voice rough, “Color?”

“Green,” Jeremy confirmed.

Ryan grabbed one of his thighs and yanked him back onto the seat.

“Depends,” he repeated, “Are you going to be a good boy for me?”

Jeremy shuddered as Ryan stared down at him. 

“Y-Yes, s-sir,” He squeaked.

Ryan’s pleased grin went straight to Jeremy’s dick. Ryan produced the toys remote and clicked it off. Jeremy relaxed slightly, puffing out a sigh of relief.

“What do you say, Jeremy?” Ryan prompted, smirking.

“Th-thank you, sir,” Jeremy answered, face burning. 

“Good boy,” Ryan purred, “Now open up your pants for me.”

Jeremy followed the instructions, finding himself looking anxiously at the remote in Ryan’s hand. It was a silent threat. Ryan was going to keep playing with him. Jeremy internally groaned. _For the love of fuck, just let me be free of this shit!_ Ryan tugged his shoes off, actually untying them to Jeremy’s surprise. He tossed them into the trunk out of reach, giving Jeremy a very bad idea. _Oh boy, I’m about to get in trouble._

“Pants,” Ryan ordered.

Jeremy wiggled out of his jeans and tossed them near his shoes. Ryan pressed his free hands to Jeremy’s thigh, rubbing his thumb over the mark he put there. He was shaking, Jeremy realized. Shaking with the effort to control himself. Jeremy hid a grin behind his hands. Ryan’s hand ran up his thigh, over his hip to his stomach, where it pushed up under his shirt. Jeremy shivered as he waited. 

“Shirt,” Ryan ordered, pulling his hand back. 

Jeremy sat up awkwardly and pulled his shirt over his head. He tossed it with the rest and laid back down. Ryan reached under the seat again and produced their purchases from the sex shop. He laid the remote on the seat next to Jeremy’s thigh as he reached in. 

Jeremy had two seconds to argue with himself what a bad idea it was before the window of opportunity would close again. Two seconds wasn’t long enough. He snatched up the remote and tossed it over the passenger seat. Ryan turned a scowl on him as he pulled free a length of purple rope. 

“D-Don’t su-suppose saying s-sorry will get me o-out of this one?” Jeremy tried, shakily.

He offered a nervous smile as Ryan reached over to take his wrists in hand. He wrapped the rope around them and tied them off. It was just tight enough to be uncomfortable without cutting of his circulation.

“Jeremy, why do you insist on being a bad boy?” Ryan asked, tone low as he pulled Jeremy’s boxers off.

Jeremy bit his lip against a snarky reply. Ryan reached into the bag again, pulling out one of the cock rings he’d put in the basket. Jeremy flushed and trembled, shifting backwards.

“No, no! I’m s-sorry!” He cried, “Pl-please! I’ll be g-good! I pr-promise I’ll be g-good!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him as he calmly removed the ring from its packaging. _Goddamnit! Now it’ll be even longer!_ Jeremy lamented. He shifted back more trying to escape as Ryan took a hold of his thigh. _No, no, no! I waited so fucking long! No fucking way!_ He twisted, trying to crawl towards the trunk. Ryan’s grip on his thigh tightened and he yanked him back towards him.

“Nooo! Please!” Jeremy wailed, “I-I was g-good all d-day! Pl-please! I w-won’t do it a-again! Please!”

“Hm, were you good all day, baby?” Ryan mused, holding him in place as he squirmed, “I believe this is strike three.”

Jeremy quickly counted in his head. _Fuck, he’s right._ He let out a miserable whine and struggled against Ryan’s grip.

“Pl-please!” He cried, tearfully, “I-I’m sorry! Please, I w-waited s-so long! Pll-please, daddy, I-I’ll be good! I pr-promise!”

He slapped his tied hands over his blushing face as he realized what he said. Ryan’s hand tightened on his thigh again and he let out a strangled noise. Jeremy peeked over his hands. Ryan looked like he was sweating with the effort to control himself. His eyes were squeezed closed and his jaw was clenching and unclenching. Jeremy grinned. _Ah ha! Weak spot._ He wished the weak spot wasn’t so goddamn embarrassing, but at this point, he’d take anything. He swallowed his pride and covered his face again.

“Pl-please, daddy,” he whined, “I c-can be a good b-boy for you, I pr-promise! I j-just w-want to cum with daddy’s c-cock in me! Pl-please can’t we c-cum together, daddy?”

Ryan’s other hand clamped down on his other thigh and he let out a shaky moan. Jeremy grinned triumphantly. _No cock ring. Ha!_ He peeked down at Ryan who was looking between his legs again. 

“D-daddy?” Jeremy squeaked.

It almost annoyed him that the nickname came naturally without him meaning to say it. Ryan’s eyes looked up at him, dark and dangerous. Jeremy moaned, hips jerking. 

“F-fuck, please!” He groaned, trying to push his ass out towards Ryan.

Ryan reached between his legs and pulled out the toy. Jeremy was extremely embarrassed that he hardly felt the thing when it was in him or as it came out. Ryan pulled something from his jacket, a wipe of some sort and wiped it off. Jeremy watched the motion carefully, unsure why he was so transfixed by it. Once it was clean, Ryan leaned over him.

“Open your mouth,” he ground out through his teeth.

Jeremy fought both the instinct to take whatever Ryan gave him and the instinct to snark back. He eyed the toy warily. Ryan gripped his face, squeezing it to force Jeremy’s mouth open.

“Wait, are y-“

Ryan shoved the toy in his mouth and Jeremy’s body arched into him, a moan choking its way out around the toy. 

“Whore,” Ryan growled, “Maybe this will teach you to not talk back.”

Jeremy moaned low in his throat, his hands reaching out to grab at Ryan’s shirt desperately. His body writhed, screaming at Ryan to hurry up and fuck him. Ryan leaned down to speak in his ear.

“Now, what was that you were saying?” He whispered, “Something about h-how bad boys sh-should shut their slutty mouths and take their pun-punishments, I believe?”

Jeremy choked out a cry. 

“Or was it h-how bad you want d-daddy’s cock?” Ryan continued, “Baby, y-you should know, you will take what _I_ g-give you.”

Jeremy’s body shuddered and he let out a sobbing sort of moan. Ryan pressed a gentle kiss to his ear.

“Spit it out if I go to far,” he muttered, breathless, “Okay?”

Jeremy nodded frantically. Ryan pulled back from him, slipping off his jacket and pulling his shirt over his head. Jeremy groaned, reaching for his bare torso. _Fuck, he’s hot._ He blushed, pulling his tied hands back to his chest. _Jesus, it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve seen him! Fuck._ Ryan pushed up against the backs of his thighs and grabbed his hands by the rope. He guided them to his chest, over the left scar. 

“Do wh-what you did l-last time,” he ordered.

Jeremy groaned, running his fingertips over the scar. Ryan shuddered, his hips jerking forward. He grunted, trying to focus as Jeremy played with it. He fumbled for the lube he’d bought and quickly set to work fingering Jeremy’s ass while Jeremy pinched at the scar and rolled it between his fingers. _Focus, focus!_ He groaned as Jeremy moved his tied hands to the other scar. 

Jeremy’s body jolted, his fingers faltering as the lube did its work. He shuddered, his body flexing up towards Ryan’s. Ryan chomped down on his bottom lip to stop himself from forgoing the prep. _Fuck, pain turns me on, why did I do that?!_

Jeremy felt sparks of warmth pulsing through his ass. _The lube. Fuck._ He hadn’t even looked at it. Warming lube. He moaned, his body jerking, trying to fuck himself on anything. He moaned out what was meant to be a “Please” but just sounded like a hiss around the toy. 

Ryan grabbed for a condom, mentally berating himself for adding so many fucking steps to the process. _In my arrogance, I only thought about driving Jeremy wild and forgot how fucking sexy he looks when I do._ He brought the condom to his mouth to hold while he got his pants undone. He was shaking so bad it was taking way longer than necessary. 

Jeremy grunted annoyance and sat up as much as he could to shove Ryan’s hand away. He unfastened his belt, got his pants open, and his cock out in record time. He snagged the condom from Ryan, tore it open and rolled it on. He threw Ryan an exasperated look with an eye roll as he laid back flat. 

“I’m g-going to beat y-your ass later,” Ryan growled, as he pulled his fingers out of Jeremy, “Little f-fucking shit.”

Jeremy jolted, moaning as he recalled the pain and humiliation he felt earlier that night. Ryan shoved into him, giving him no adjustment period before he was rutting into him quick and forceful. He laid over him, gripping his face and turning it roughly to speak in his ear. Jeremy moaned, clawing at Ryan’s chest as his arms were flattened between them. He groaned as his eyes rolled back.

“F-fucking whore,” Ryan growled, “You d-do this to me on p-purpose, d-don’t you?”

Jeremy groaned.

“You w-want me to f-fucking force y-you,” Ryan continued, “You used t-to, fuck, sh-shake your a-ass so m-much, b-bend over, f-fucking begging me, were-weren’t you?”

_Yes, yes I was!_ Jeremy wanted to shout for some reason, his head jerking in a nod. Ryan bit hard on his neck, a low moan vibrating against Jeremy’s skin.

“Of c-course y-you fucking d-did,” he sneered, “B-bet you r-really wanted V-vagabond t-to fuck you up.”

Jeremy went red as he recalled how many times he’d imagined Vagabond bending him over and fucking him however he wanted.

“You still w-want him, don’t you?” Ryan muttered, breathless, “W-want him to b-bend you over. F-fucking silent as he m-makes you take it.”

Jeremy shuddered. No, Vagabond wasn’t Ryan. He shook his head and whined. _I only want you._ Ryan’s hand twisted and he shoved Jeremy’s mouth open, yanking out the toy.

“Tell me,” he snarled, “Who owns you?”

“Y-you!” Jeremy whimpered.

Ryan grunted and started thrusting with all his weight. Jeremy let out a whine as he tried to meet Ryan’s thrusts.

“Who gets to fuck you?” Ryan demanded

“O-only you do!” Jeremy answered, choking around a sob.

Ryan’s growling moan came out lower pitched than normal and Jeremy shuddered as he echoed a moan right back at him. His thrusts were going erratic and desperate. _I’m so fucking close._

“J-Jeremy, I-I-,” he gasped.

_I love you._ He saw stars as he came, groaning through it, trying to focus on getting his hand around Jeremy. Luckily, he barely got his hand around him before he was coming with a cry. Ryan went fuzzy a moment as he tried to catch his breath. _I love you._


	28. Chapter 28

Jeremy shivered, turning to press up closer to Ryan who pulled the blanket tighter around him.

“You back with me, sleepy?” He mumbled.

“Y-yeah,” he confirmed, “Did you really intend for us to take a nap on your back seat?”

He climbed over Ryan to pull on his clothes. Ryan grunted, sitting up.

“You always get tired after,” he grumbled.

He pulled on his own shirt with a shiver.

“Jeez, when did it get cold?” He muttered. 

“It _is_ nighttime,” Jeremy pointed out, “But yeah, it’s a bit colder than usual. I moved to San Andreas to run from the cold.”

He finally got his jeans on and went back to cuddle up to Ryan’s side. Ryan wrapped the blanket around him then wrapped his arm around his waist. Jeremy dropped his head against his chest and sifted through the memories they’d just made.

“Ha! You have a daddy kink!” Jeremy teased.

“I think that would be _you,”_ Ryan pointed out dryly, “I have a desperately begging fetish. You were doing that really well.”

Jeremy covered his burning face. Ryan laughed and squeezed him closer.

“Can we pretend that never happened?” Jeremy whined, face burning.

Ryan laughed again and dropped his chin on Jeremy’s shoulder.

“But you want daddy’s c-“ he started to taunt him.

“Nope! Nope! Nope!” Jeremy exclaimed, pulling away to go over to the driver’s seat, “I’m leaving, bye.”

“I’m in the car still, idiot,” Ryan laughed, “And I have the keys.”

Jeremy sighed. _Goddamnit._ There was no running from the monster now. Ryan shifted around in the back, pushing the seat back into place. Jeremy’s forehead thumped into the steering wheel. That hurt a bit, so he tilted his head up to rub at his forehead. 

He was distracted by the sky. _Full moon out tonight. Hopefully Ryan’s not a werewolf,_ he thought, chuckling to himself. It was pretty out and the stars twinkled brightly against the dark sky. Was this an abnormally clear night? Jeremy wasn’t sure, but suddenly he had an idea. He turned, grinning at Ryan.

“Get up here,” he ordered lightly, “I’m gonna take us somewhere.”

Ryan frowned, but he pulled on his jacket and clambered to the passenger seat. As they pulled away, Ryan’s heart thudded in his chest. He realized suddenly what he’d admitted to himself that night. He glanced at Jeremy, who was humming cheerfully. _I do love him, don’t I?_ His heart squeezed and he went back to staring out the window.

_I do, but it doesn’t mean shit. I loved Ray too._

~

Jeremy glanced around nervously as he parked the car. Lookout wasn’t a hot spot of bad news any more, but the thing about anxiety is that it doesn’t give a shit about logic. He snatched the blanket from the back and beckoned Ryan to follow him. Ryan did so, but he looked understandably wary.

Jeremy hopped up on the hood and patted next to him. Ryan felt a bit stupid, but slid onto the hood next to him. Jeremy wrapped the blanket around them and snuggled back up to his side.

“I thought you’d like the view of the stars,” he explained, “Out here is a bit clearer than in the city.”

He looked at Ryan whose eyes were darting around the sky. Jeremy smiled as warmth spread through him. 

“What happened to your finger, by the way?” Ryan suddenly asked, not looking away.

Jeremy flexed his hand. He was wearing the brace Caleb put on him. It’d mostly not impeded his work, but he still found it annoying.

“Broke my finger,” he mumbled.

“No shit,” Ryan grumbled, “I meant how.”

“No, I meant I actually broke it,” Jeremy clarified, “I was fidgeting and snapped it.”

Ryan looked away from the stars sharply.

“You’re a fucking disaster, Jeremy,” He muttered, “Why were you...”

He trailed off, connecting dots. He looked back at the sky, his guard going up. Jeremy squeezed Ryan’s hand with his good one.

“Not your fault,” he assured him, “I really am a fucking disaster.”

Ryan kept his guard up, but he twisted his hand, lacing their fingers together. His heart was in his throat, but he kept staring at the stars. _Holding hands. I’m holding hands._ He swallowed, forcing himself to calm down his shaky nerves. _Lighten the mood, quick!_

“Did you know many stars we see are actually dead?” Ryan mumbled.

_Wow, fucking nailed it, Haywood. That lightened the mood right up. Talk about genocide next._

“It’s ‘cause hopes and dreams are pointless,” Jeremy laughed, grinning cheerfully, “If you wish upon a star nothing happens, much like the star receives no reward when you call it pretty.”

Ryan laughed, nearly doubling over from the force of it bursting out of him. Jeremy laughed along with him, jostling his shoulder. He squeezed his hand gently.

“You’re something else, J,” Ryan sputtered around laughter.

Jeremy looked at him brightly.

“Something good?” He prompted, still grinning.

Ryan looked down at him with a soft smile. He brought up his free hand to cup Jeremy’s cheek.

“Something good,” he confirmed, before he leaned down to kiss him.

They paused as they heard something in the forest behind them. Jeremy sighed, turning away from Ryan. He was getting really tired of this shit. _Why can’t I get any peace?_ He retracted his hand and wrapped his arms around himself.

Ryan winced at the look on Jeremy’s face. _Tired. Depressed. Frustrated._ He reached out, but faltered, hand closing into a tight fist. He pulled it back, jaw setting. He was about to go on a rampage. Jeremy didn’t move or acknowledge as he slid off the hood to get to work.

~

Jeremy was starting to think that every time something good happened, it was immediately ruined or overshadowed by something bad. Jeremy and Ryan had had what appeared to be an amazing (painful) date that ended in a bloodbath. Geoff had implemented new rules for curfew and leaving alone was strictly not allowed.

Jeremy was never one to follow rules. He needed time to think, to get his head on straight and figure out what the fuck was happening with Ryan. The third day after the “date”, he left in full gear, flexing his hands on the handlebars around the lizard skin gloves. He winced a bit.

His left ring finger was still broken, but it barely hurt any more. Caleb told him to keep the brace on when he’d gone in to get the stitches removed. He was politely refusing, just using his boxing tape, during the day, anyway. Ryan wasn’t thrilled with his approach.

Jeremy pulled to a stop at a red light and looked down at the gloves. Ryan really did care about him, it seemed. He was paying attention to him, worrying about him, getting him gifts, kissing him. A lot of kissing. The past few days he’d been handsier than ever. 

He kept wrapping his arms around him and pressing soft kisses on any available skin. He wasn’t even trying to fuck him, he was just smothering him with affection. He felt like he was being tricked. Like the rug would be pulled out from under him at any time. 

He started up again as the light turned green. He wasn’t really going anywhere. He was just trying to clear his head. Maybe he was hoping for a fight. Maybe he was hoping he’d find answers to his questions.

_Does Ryan love me? Do I love Ryan? Does Ryan trust me? Do I trust Ryan? Ryan wouldn’t betray me, would he?...I didn’t think Lucien would betray me either. Then he fucking tricked me. Asshole._

He sighed. He should be happy his tongueless brother was strung up now, but it didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel like justice or karma. Felt empty. The Observatory was needlessly cruel and inhumane. Lucien was an asshole, but...did he really deserve to rot on a wall like some morbid tapestry? All because he was caught by Jeremy? _Wait a minute._

Jeremy suddenly swerved, coming to a shaky stop. The J6 swayed, but he slammed a foot down to stop it from tipping. He said they knew that Jeremy would try to catch the amateur. Why would they kill him for succeeding his mission? They wouldn’t. And they wouldn’t kill him for getting his tongue cut out either.  They would’ve assumed some form of repercussion. 

They may have even thought they’d kill Lucien. Wouldn’t be the first time the Observatory sent agents on suicide missions.  So Lucien was either alive or he’d done something else to betray the Observatory. Jeremy needed to see his body. 


	29. Chapter 29

Jeremy propped the bike up near the manhole. He should really call Ryan or anyone for that matter, but it felt too personal. Felt like his life, his right to get to the bottom of the mystery. Felt like he was the only one who should know what happened to his brother. Felt like he didn’t want anyone to know that he was actually hopeful Lucien was alive.

Maybe he should at least text Ryan. He knew there was some history, maybe he wouldn’t be too mad.

To Ryan: _Hey, don’t lecture me, but I’m at the sewer entrance. I need to check on something._

Ryan’s hands paused in his sharpening to pull out his phone. He leapt up immediately, grabbing his jacket and heading for the garage. 

Ryan: _I’m on the way._

Jeremy sighed. That was what he was afraid of. Well, he could take a look before Ryan showed up. He climbed into the sewer and started making his way towards the dungeon. He followed the symbols the Observatory left on the sewer walls, but he’d memorized the layout anyway. It took him no time to reach the dungeon and he pulled out the six shooter before creeping into the room. 

It was deserted. The Observatory had cleared out as soon as they’d discovered Gavin had been rescued. They hadn’t removed the corpse on the wall though. Jeremy squinted up at it. _That’s not a corpse,_ he realized. It was as intact as it’d been the first time he saw it, nearly a month ago now. It wasn’t rotting, it had to be a doll or a manikin of some kind. His grip tightened on the pistol.

_I did it again. They fucking tricked me. They knew I’d come for Gavin, so they planted a fake corpse. I’ve followed their path again! Which means they probably knew I’d come here again._

His spine went stiff. He whipped around, pointing his gun at the person behind him. Lucien held his hands up in surrender. 

“Don’t worry, Rimmy, dear,” he called, “I’m not here to kill you.”

_His tongue, how did he get his tongue back??_ No, his speech was sort of thick, not quite the same. It was a prosthetic. 

“Then why are you?” Jeremy prompted.

“To get you back where you belong,” Lucien answered, sounding amused, “You belong here, Rimmy. You know this is your home. We’re your family.”

Jeremy’s chest squeezed. It felt like his insides had frozen solid. 

“There is no book,” he muttered, “This has all been a fabrication.”

“Now you’re catching on!” Lucien answered, gleeful.

“Why?! I’m not-I’m not that valuable!” Jeremy cried out, “I’m no better than anyone else! Why the fuck are they doing this?! I paid the flesh fee!”

Lucien let out a dark, bitter laugh.

“Yes, I’m aware of your mediocrity,” he grunted, “I don’t know why they want you. I don’t question my superiors.”

Jeremy felt a burst of rage and dashed towards him. He seized Lucien’s shirt and jammed the pistol up under his chin.

“Oh, I’m aware, you traitorous bastard!” he growled, “I’m aware of what you’ll do for them. Following orders. You know they didn’t let Nazis get away with that, why should _you?!”_

Lucien rolled his eyes.

“You must be joking,” he grumbled, “You would’ve done the same.”

Jeremy laughed as angry tears ran down his face. 

“No, I wouldn’t have!” He shouted, “In fact, I _didn’t!_ Do you know what th-?”

Jeremy’s eyes squeezed against the burning.

“Th-they tried t-to get me to pin bl-blame on you!” He cried, “They said...I d-didn’t have to t-take the second punishment.”

He opened his eyes again to stare at Lucien’s face. His white eyes were staring at Jeremy in confusion and surprise.

“I c-could’ve given i-it to you,” Jeremy mumbled around tears, “But I didn’t. I took...i-it was ev-everyone! F-for you!”

“Why would you do that?” Lucien scoffed.

“Because you were my brother!” Jeremy screamed, shaking Lucien, “I would’ve taken it every day until I died, for you!”

“That never meant shit, moron!” Lucien snapped, “Brother was just a fucking word I used to manipulate you! You think I ever gave a shit?! I’ve been stuck in your fucking shadow my whole life! I hate you!”

”You...really never cared,” Jeremy choked, “I-I w-would’ve done anything f-for you!”

”Yes, because you’re an idiot!” Lucien snapped, “When they came to me, I relished the opportunity to help in tricking you! Spent my whole life listening to your sunshine bullshit and them talking about how amazing you were!”

”I never asked for that!” Jeremy shouted, “I never once wanted to be noticed by anyone, but you!”

”Well, too fucking bad,” Lucien growled, “Because they’re going to continue bringing you back no matter how far you run.”

Jeremy stared into Lucien’s eyes and a sense of calm spread over him suddenly.

“I am never going back,” he whispered.

He fired the gun, sending a bullet racing through Lucien’s brain. They dropped to their knees together and Jeremy stared at his eyes as the light began to fade. 

“I loved you,” he added quietly, “Why did you have to betray me?”

Lucien’s lifeless body provided no answer to him. His grip on the gun loosened and it fell to the ground. He wrapped his arms around the corpse, burying his face in Lucien’s shoulder as he sobbed. 

“You were my only family!” He cried, “You were all I had! Why wasn’t I enough for you?!”

He pushed away angrily, grabbing Lucien’s jacket and shaking him violently.

“Why?! Why couldn’t you just be my brother?!” He screamed, “Why did you have to do this?! Why didn’t you love me?! Why didn’t you love me?!”

He choked on his tears and his anger left him. He deflated, slumping forward. Their foreheads pressed together.

“Why?” He whispered.

He heard someone a split second before a needle stuck in him. He went fuzzy, but desperately clung to Lucien.

“Brother,” he called weakly.

~

Ryan hoped his memory of the sewers was correct. He still had no idea how Jeremy had navigated the place so easily. He appeared to have it right though, as he managed to find the dungeon correctly on the first try. He peeked around the corner and ducked back. 

Okay, there were a lot of people in there. Way more than Ryan could take alone. He grabbed his phone and shot off a quick SOS to the team. He drew his weapon. He hadn’t seen Jeremy in the crowd, but considering how short he was, that wasn’t uncommon.

“Ma’am, what should we do with White Star?” Someone asked.

Ryan frowned. _White Star?_

“He died in the line of duty.”

Ryan recognized this voice. It was the woman Jeremy didn’t like. Someone important, the lead Observer.

“Lucien will have a proper pyre,” she continued.

Observers burn their dead, interesting. _Only if they die with honor though,_ Ryan thought as he recalled the strung up “brother”.

“And Rimmy’s gear?” Someone else asked.

Ryan’s face pulled into a scowl. The Gecko Gear, Jeremy had been wearing it. _Choose your next words carefully, bitch._

“Leave it,” she dismissed, “He won’t be able to use it anyway. We need to hurry and get him in the chamber before his gang shows up.”

The chamber sounded fucking ominous.

“Make sure he’s restrained properly,” she added, “He’ll likely wake up in a panic when he sees where he is.”

_I have them too._

Ryan was around the corner as rage surged through him. No fucking way was Jeremy going to be alone for a flashback. Not while Ryan was around. He dropped several of the assholes as he searched for number one. A bullet grazed his cheek and ear, leaving a burning streak in its wake. 

“Hold your fire!” One snapped, “You, move!”

One of the Observers moved to show her standing over Jeremy. A gun was pointed at his head. Ryan hesitated. 

“Vagabond, I presume you’d like Rimmy in one piece?” She prompted.

His jaw clenched, but he lowered his gun. He let it get taken from him and cuffs looped around his wrists. Bitch number one sighed as she holstered her weapon. Ryan glared at her, already plotting a million ways to kill her. 

“Your little gang is quite tiresome,” She grunted at Jeremy’s unconscious body.

She crouched down, her hand reaching out. Ryan surged forward.

“Don’t touch him!” He growled, “Don’t you fucking touch him!”

He struggled against the Observers trying to hold him in place. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Her hand lowered to Jeremy’s cheek, caressing it. Ryan broke free of one of the hands holding him.

“Stop it! Get your dirty hands off him!” He snarled.

She stood back up and Ryan calmed down slightly, though his face was pulled into a scowl of disgust. 

“Put him in the chamber,” she ordered the ones holding him, “Make sure he has a nice view.”

Nice view. They were going to make Ryan watch as they tortured Jeremy. _Guys, please hurry. I don’t know how long I can last._


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter! :P

Jeremy woke up in a white room, laying on his stomach. He screamed.

“Jeremy! Jeremy, I’m here!” Ryan called, tearfully.

Jeremy’s head spun, panic shuddering through his body. He tried to listen to Ryan’s talking as phantom pains shot through him.

“Jeremy, I’m here! Please, listen!” Ryan cried, “I’m behind you! I’m here!”

Jeremy jerked against the restraints, looking over his shoulder. Ryan was there, kneeling on the floor, shackled to the wall. Nearly naked in comparison to his usual gear. They’d stripped him down to a shirt and underwear. He was wet too, shivering. His hands were tight on the chains and he was straining, as though he was trying to move towards Jeremy. 

The sight of him released the panic in Jeremy’s stomach, but it quickly returned, squeezing as he realized why Ryan was there. They were going to make him watch. _No. No, absolutely not._ Jeremy jerked his head back around and tugged on his own bindings. _Okay, relax, relax! Inventory._

He was clothed still, thank fuck. They’d apparently spent their time harassing Ryan. His gear was still on too. He was a bit lightheaded from whatever they knocked him out with, but mostly uninjured. Okay, bindings. Leather wrapped to the railing. Tighter than he expected, but they’d failed to remove his gloves. He had wiggle room.

“J-Jeremy? Are y-you okay?” Ryan called softly.

Jeremy’s heart squeezed.

“Sorry, darling, I’m here,” he assured him, “Just considering wiggle room.”

A bitter laugh came from Ryan.

“Don’t apologize,” he muttered, “You’re the one who’s in distress.”

Jeremy twisted his right wrist, trying to pop the button on the glove. 

“Yeah, but I’m always in distress,” he grunted as he got the button open.

He wiggled his hand, trying to slip out of the glove.

“Are you really?” Ryan asked quietly.

Jeremy paused, looking over his shoulder with a frown. He opened his mouth to say a very pointed “no!” but was interrupted by the door opening. _Shit!_ He tried to wiggle his hand faster, but froze when he saw who was in the doorway. 

“Ma-“

He cut himself off with a frustrated grunt. He yanked against the bindings.

“Why?!” He demanded, “I-I already p-paid this debt!”

He tried to stop the stinging eyes.

“This is not that debt,” she dismissed, stepping towards him, “This is to do with your leaving us.”

“I paid that debt too!” He snarled, “I paid the exit fee!”

“Yet, you’ve used your skills against the interests of the Observatory,” she pointed out as she stopped in front of him.

Jeremy strained, trying to glare up at her.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He grunted.

She crouched down to be eye level with him. 

“Put your brain to work, Rimmy,” she ordered.

Jeremy scowled, annoyed that his natural reaction was to do just that. _Working against. Using skills._ His first job he’d used his skills on was the museum, which was followed by the squirrel thief. _The museum._

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?!” He snapped, “I’m just supposed to know ev-!”

He was interrupted by her hand closing over his mouth. Jeremy tried to shrink away from her, a pathetic sound coming out. 

“Let go of him!” Ryan snarled, startling Jeremy, “If you hurt him, you’re going to regret it!”

Jeremy’s heart thudded in his chest, eyes welling up. _Family, love, togetherness._ Fake AH was what he’d always wanted, what he’d tried to get from the Observatory. He yanked his hand from his glove and the bindings. He lifted and slammed his fist into her face. She staggered backwards and Jeremy got his other hand free. 

He lifted up onto his knees as she started toward him again. He grabbed her shirt and slammed his forehead into her nose, snapping it on impact. She grunted, but managed to snap off a hook that made his ear ring. 

“Right thigh!” Ryan shouted.

Jeremy shoved his shoulder in her guts, diving for the thigh holster. He grabbed it, flicked off the safety and pointed it at her spine. She froze, not even bothering to go for the kidney shot. The two Observers that ran in also froze. He pulled back and shoved her on the table, pressing one knee into her shoulder and the gun firmly into the spine. 

“Nobody fucking moves,” he growled, “Or the worst dishonor befalls your precious leader. Drop your weapons. _Now.”_

The Observers lowered their guns to the floor.

“Kick them this way,” he ordered.

The guns slid towards him. He fumbled with the bindings at his ankles. Once fully free, he tied her wrists where his had been. As soon as she was secure, he got off the table.

“Where are the keys?” He demanded.

“Here,” one of the Observers unclipped the keys and tossed them over.

Jeremy caught them and carefully unlocked one of Ryan’s cuffs before dropping them for him to get the rest.

“Where are his clothes?” He asked next.

“J-Jeremy, it’s-“ Ryan started.

“Shut it,” Jeremy hissed at him, “Where are his clothes?”

The same Observer pointed towards a cabinet in the corner. 

“Get dressed,” he ordered, throwing it over his shoulder.

Ryan was red faced as he stood and walked to the cabinet. He tried to pretend the boner wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him. Jesus, he was a disaster, but Jeremy was so hot when he went boss mode. He was tying down the other two Observers and Ryan hastened to get dressed. Fully dressed, he relaxed significantly. _Okay, focus on business._

He turned back to Jeremy to notice he was shaking. The stolen gun was pointed at number one, unsteady. Jeremy’s eyes were unfocused. Ryan’s chest squeezed. He approached him cautiously, very lightly tapping Jeremy’s forearm. It didn’t jar Jeremy from his trance and Ryan felt a surge of worry.

Jeremy was staring down the right side of the gun and yet he felt as though _he_ was the vulnerable one. She was there, bent similarly to how he’d been. She was at his mercy. He could kill her, but his insides trembled. He was in charge now, he could shoot her. He just needed to squeeze. His knees were weak, terror clawing his insides.

“Rimmy, what a disappointment you are,” She sighed, “Lousy with emotion. First Lucien, then these-”

She paused, eyes glancing at Ryan.

“Thugs,” she finished, disgust clear in her voice, “You are so talented, yet you insist on such emotions.”

“Shut up,” Ryan growled, “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.”

She rolled her eyes, looking way too put together for a woman tied down with a gun pointed at her. _Just shoot her,_ Jeremy urged himself. _Just do it. You’ll never get this opportunity again._ Ryan’s hand on his cheek pulled him back. He took a deep breath. He was here now, with Ryan at his back. She couldn’t hurt him any more. His grip firmed on the gun and he squeezed his trigger finger. He felt no remorse. No regret. No sadness. Just relief.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the roller coaster, y’all ready to get fucked up? :D

Jeremy sighed heavily, the gun lowering. _Safe._ Ryan squeezed his shoulder and Jeremy gave him a tired smile. Ryan’s face was filled with empathy. _Empathy, not sympathy._

“You killed Ray,” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Ryan winced, looking away. He nodded curtly. No one outside of Geoff and Jack knew that. Jeremy squeezed his hand.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been hard,” he said quietly.

Ryan laughed dryly and rubbed his forehead.

“You care too much about others,” he muttered, “You just killed your former boss, you’re stuck somewhere you got hurt, and you’re comforting _me?”_

Before Jeremy could protest about his own distress, Ryan seized him in a tight hug. 

“Jeremy, I love you,” he whispered, “And also when we get out, I need you.”

Jeremy frowned. _Need me? Need me to-_

“Oh.”

He blinked rapidly in surprise.

_ “Oh.” _

He pushed away from Ryan.

“Okay, time to leave!” He near-shouted.

He turned to the guard Observers who were watching them in confusion. 

“You guys want them or a bullet?” He offered, waving the gun.

“Bullet,” they spoke together.

“Fair enough,” he muttered before shooting them.

“What was-?” Ryan started to ask.

“Later,” Jeremy interrupted, “We got two minutes before someone comes to check on us. Was my stuff in there?”

He nodded towards the cabinet.

“You mean this?” Ryan asked, pulling out the six-shooter, “It’s missing a shot.”

He handed it over and Jeremy’s eyes went a bit blurry as he clipped the holster to his belt. _Lucien. Later I will mourn you._

“Okay, block the door,” he ordered as he jumped into action.

He slipped his gloves back on and grabbed one of the tables, shoving it up against the wall. He hopped up and held his hand out to Ryan who passed over a Swiss Army knife. He made quick work of the vent cover and pulled himself inside. He wiggled through far enough to get Ryan in behind him before he really started moving.

“You okay?” He whispered at him.

“I’m great,” Ryan answered, “I’ve got the best view.

“Sh-Shut up!” Jeremy hissed, face burning, “Fucking horny bastard.”

Jeremy jolted as Ryan pinched his ass. 

“Dickbag,” Jeremy growled.

“I like when you’re mean to me, daddy,” Ryan choked around laughter.

Jeremy shoved his foot back at Ryan.

“I said we don’t talk about that!” He grunted.

“Are you going to spank me if i continue?” Ryan deadpanned.

“I hate you,” Jeremy grumbled.

He halted over the appropriate vent and slammed his fists through it, pulling his gun as his torso dropped through. Ryan grabbed his belt to hold onto him while he shot the four occupants of the room.

“Drop,” Jeremy grunted.

Ryan let him go and he dropped into a roll. He hopped up and slammed the evac alarm button. The whole place started screeching and flashing red. Ryan dropped down slightly less elegantly than Jeremy. Jeremy gestured him over to the ladder and hurried up. He twisted the seal open and pushed it up. They exited into the public area of the Observatory and Jeremy headed towards the closest exit. As long as they stayed mostly nonchalant, they’d get out fine. 

“You know what’s going on?” Someone called to them.

Jeremy shrugged.

“Got me,” he muttered.

They moved on, calling out to someone else. He checked for eyes on them as he hit the exit. No one was following. He pushed through and waved Ryan to hurry across the lawn to the forest nearby. He started to climb up one of the familiar trees, but recalled it was Ryan with him, not Lucien. That made him falter a moment, but he kept moving, blinking away tears. 

_I killed him. I killed him. I killed him._ He made it to the hideaway treehouse and hurried up the tree, dropping the ladder for Ryan. He shoved away the door and crawled inside. Without thinking he went straight for the loose floorboard. He pressed his hands over it and he couldn’t stop the tears any more. 

“I killed you,” he muttered, “I killed you!”

He slammed a fist into the floorboard which practically disintegrated. 

“Why didn’t you love me?” He cried, “Was all of this fake?! Every time we came here?! I thought maybe...I thought maybe...you really were just following orders.”

He reached in the hole and pulled out the envelopes they’d put there.

“Jeremy, should I go?” Ryan asked softly, “I feel like I-“

He jumped as his phone rang. He pulled it out. _Geoff._ Right, hadn’t they gotten the message?

“Geoff?” He answered.

“What the hell was that message about? Where are you?” Geoff nearly screamed into the phone.

“We’re safe now,” Ryan assured him, “The Observatory assholes had us for a moment, but we took out the leader. They’re scrambling right now.”

“So no need for backup?” Geoff clarified.

“Well, no, but if you want to take advantage of their scrambling...” Ryan suggested.

“Hm, we probably should,” Geoff answered, “You two are out of the line of fire though?”

“Yes, we’re safe,” Ryan repeated.

“Okay, good,” Geoff muttered, relieved, “Maybe we should have pack rules instead of buddy rules if the two of you got caught together.”

Ryan glanced at where Jeremy was staring at whatever paper he’d pulled from the floor.

“I think they just used us against each other,” he finally said, “But we should all be very careful. They’re no joke.”

“Wait, how long did they have you guys?” Geoff demanded, “We just got your message.”

“I sent it nearly an hour ago,” Ryan grunted, “I was in the sewers. Must’ve blocked the message.”

“Jesus, okay,” Geoff muttered, “Let’s all try to remember that in the future.”

“Yeah, better do that,” Ryan agreed, “We may have to use walkies if we ever return.”

“Considering the Observatory’s labyrinth we probably will,” Geoff grumbled.

He hung up with a promise of giving as good as they got. Ryan slipped his phone away and carefully slid over to Jeremy. He didn’t want to interrupt his reading or accidentally read it himself, so he just wrapped around Jeremy’s back, pressing his forehead against his shoulder. They were like that a long moment, quiet and still. Then Jeremy’s fist closed around the paper, the crinkling almost startling Ryan with the sudden noise.

“Fuck me,” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan lifted his forehead.

“Jeremy, wou-“

“Fuck me,” Jeremy interrupted, firmer this time.

“I don’t kn-“

“Fuck. Me.” Jeremy demanded through clenched teeth, “Or get the fuck away from me.”

Ryan’s chest squeezed and his heart tore to shreds. He pulled away enough to push Jeremy onto all fours. It felt wrong as he pulled Jeremy’s pants down and fingered him in the silence. Jeremy kept himself up on his forearms, fists clenched tight, one still holding the paper. 

“Now,” Jeremy ordered after not nearly enough time had passed.

“Jeremy, that’s not-“ Ryan started to protest.

“Shut the fuck up!” Jeremy hissed, “I don’t fuck you for your gentle demeanor. I don’t fuck you for your fucking care. Shove your cock in me like you don’t give two shits about my comfort. Don’t go getting fucking soft on me.”

Ryan sighed and pulled himself out. It took him a moment, he had to stroke himself, trying to get hard enough to be of any use.

“Fucking useless!” Jeremy snarled, his fist slamming the wood below him, “What good are you to me if you can’t even fuck me properly?! You really have gone fucking soft! So much for the mighty fucking Vagabond.”

Ryan’s face flushed with embarrassment and anger.

“Why are you being like this?!” He demanded.

“Being like what?!” Jeremy snapped back, “Not enough of a whore for you? Need me to pad your fucking ego to get it up? Pathetic.”

“The fuck did you just call me?!” Ryan growled, rage rushing through his blood.

“Pathetic,” Jeremy hissed, “You need someone soft and willing, _Vagabond?_ Can’t fucking take what you want? Has to be given?”

“Shut up!” Ryan snapped.

“Pathetic!” Jeremy grunted, “Fucking pathetic loser who can’t get it up. Fuck off if you can’t fuck me properly!”

Ryan growled and gripped Jeremy’s hip. Jeremy pulled away, but he held tighter, forcing him backwards onto his dick. He grunted against the resistance, but shoved through anyway, getting a whiny growl of pain from Jeremy. He gripped Jeremy’s hair, yanking him up to speak in his ear.

“How’s that little fucking bitch?” He snarled, “That good enough for you?”

“You need me to tell you if it’s good?” Jeremy grunted.

Ryan shoved his face back into the floor with a growl and started fucking into him, hips slamming against his ass like he was throwing his whole weight into it. Jeremy finally broke, tears flowing freely down his face and his body shaking with sobs. The fist tightened harder around Lucien’s letter as Ryan fucked him. He looked back at the unopened letter, the one he’d written for Lucien and felt a throb in his chest.

_Love is bullshit. It isn’t real. Fucking is real, pain is real, death is real. Love is not._

_Dear Lucien,_

_ We wrote these letters for when we die, so I’m a bit nervous. I’m not sure what to say. If I’m gone, I guess I don’t want you to be sad. You’re really strong, way better than me, so I know you’ll be fine. Better than fine, you’re going to be amazing!  _

_ You’re so talented, but you keep working so hard, harder than you have to. I feel like a loser compared to you, honestly. That’s probably why I died first, haha! But I’ll rest with the stars in peace because I know you’ll be okay.  _

_ I just want you to know, I really did consider you my brother. I’m not sure if you meant it as seriously as I do, but you’re my family. You’re all I’ve ever really had. Probably all I ever will. But that’s okay with me. You’re enough family for me. I’m glad I got to know you and I’m proud to be your brother.  _

_ Just don’t give up on finding more family, okay? You deserve a big, happy family. Maybe if we can get to our 21st, we can get out and find more family. But if you’re reading this, it’s just you, so I guess that didn’t happen. So you better find a family big enough for us both. _

_From dust to stars, I go in peace,_

_Your devoted brother,_

_Jeremy Dooley_


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: PTSD, flashbacks
> 
> Sorry I missed yesterday’s update! D:

Jeremy didn’t speak afterwards. Didn’t make any noises or cuddle up to Ryan. He simply pulled away and put his clothes back in place. Ryan felt a weight over him, pressing him down, pushing him back into himself, putting up his guards. Everything was...not right. Jeremy gestured for him to leave. He climbed down the ladder to wait for him.

Jeremy carefully smoothed out Lucien’s letter and tucked it away. He flicked on a lighter and lit the explosive where the letter used to be. He jumped down from the treehouse and they jogged a small distance before the explosive went off. Jeremy watched the treehouse burn with a feeling of bitterness and despair growing inside of him.

“From dust to stars, may you go in peace, Lucien Mayweather.”

“Who is Lucien?” Ryan asked quietly.

“Loaded question,” Jeremy laughed dryly, “He’s the one we cut the tongue out of.”

“He was important to you?” Ryan prompted softly.

“My brother,” Jeremy muttered, “Not by blood, but I cared very deeply for him.”

Ryan squeezed his hand tightly.

“The dungeon must’ve been horrible for you,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry, Jeremy.”

Jeremy barked out a humorless laugh and yanked his hand from Ryan’s.

“You know nothing about me,” he muttered, bitterly, “You have no idea who I am or what I feel.”

He turned from the treehouse and walked away.

~

“So there was never a book in the first place?” Geoff grumbled, “The Hell, Ry? What’d you do to them?! This is a lot of shit to go through for revenge.”

Ryan opened his mouth, but Jeremy beat him to it.

“It’s not Vagabond they’re after,” he stated flatly, “They’re after me.”

Ryan looked at him sharply and the rest of the gang turned to him in surprise.

“I used to be an Observer,” he added, “I left, but they want me back.”

“So they did all this to get you back?” Jack clarified, sounding doubtful, “I thought they were all at the same level as you?”

Jeremy shrugged.

“They are,” he answered, “But for some reason-“

“No, not some reason!” Ryan cut in tightly, “You’re the best. You’re an extremely valuable asset. I heard them talking about you. They all say you’re the top of the charts.”

Jeremy shook his head.

“No, you must’ve misunderstood,” he muttered, “Lucien is- _was_ ten times better than me.”

“Then how the fuck did you catch him so fast?!” Ryan snapped, “He had the gear and yet you were seconds behind him!”

“Because I was supposed to catch him!” Jeremy argued, “This entire thing has been a fucking fabrication!”

“Yes, because they saw what you did at the museum!” Ryan shouted, slamming a fist on the table, “They realized you got even better after you left!”

“Hey!” Jack interrupted, cutting off Jeremy’s protest, “What the fuck? You guys lied to us! Why didn’t you just tell us, Jeremy?”

Jeremy’s anger deflated and he stared at the table, feeling like garbage.

“We all have shit,” Ryan argued, “There’s loads of things about you we don’t know.”

Jack frowned.

“I guess so, but why would we care?” Jack muttered, “So you were in league with assholes, why does it matter?”

Jeremy sighed tiredly.

“They’re not just assholes,” he answered quietly, “They’re a secret society of assholes with connections all over the world. To leave them you have to pay a price and swear an oath.”

“Price?” Geoff prompted.

Jeremy closed his eyes.

“No Observer leaves unchanged,” he recited.

He rubbed over the newer wound.

“A flesh tax,” he continued, “To leave they take a piece of you. If you’re lucky, it’s something you don’t really need, like a kidney. If you’re not, it’s a hand or a foot. If you’re particularly unlucky, it’s something like your vocal chords, your reproductive organs, or an eye.”

The room was still a moment as they considered what he said.

“And the oath?” Geoff pressed.

“From stars I rend myself,” Jeremy muttered, “I swear to sever myself completely from the Observatory. If I should use what I’ve learned to work against this place, my life belongs to them.”

“So what do they say you did?” Gavin piped up, “Surely they’re wrong.”

“The museum apparently belongs to them,” Jeremy mumbled, “I had no idea.”

“Wait a minute!” Gavin exclaimed, “There’s no way they own the museum!”

He stood up and went around the table to the computer. A few seconds later he pulled up the website for the place and showed them a timeline.

“Look, it’s been in one family since Los Santos was found!” He insisted, “There are loads of documents! It used to be a mansion, then it was a historic landmark, and now a museum, but it’s only been in one family the whole time. There isn’t any buzz about a possible connection! I’ve been tracking Observatory since you found that squirrel! Not a damn connection to the museum!”

Jeremy hummed thoughtfully.

“I guess they could’ve been lying,” he admitted, “But they’re like the fucking Illuminati. They’re connected to everything.”

“Hey, didn’t you say you’d climbed this place before?” Geoff chimed in.

“Yeah, wouldn’t they have noticed you?” Jack agreed, “You said you went up many times. If they’re as connected and secret as you say, they’d have already noticed, right?”

Jeremy frowned, rubbing his chin.

“Yeah...I guess you’re right,” he muttered, “The museum could just be a cover. An excuse to get me back.”

“Unless it wasn’t the museum,” Ryan spoke up, sitting forward excitedly.

Jeremy grinned.

“You got something, Holmes?” He laughed.

“Indeed, my dear Watson!” Ryan exclaimed, standing up to take Gavin’s spot at the computer, “I recall something very interesting about the painting I was assigned.”

He flipped the screen to the exhibits and scrolled to the appropriate one.

“I think you’ll recognize this, Watson,” he teased, winking.

He pulled up the image and Jeremy gasped. 

“But...that’s new!” He protested, “And that painting is super old!”

“Is it new?” Ryan prompted, eyebrows up, “Or was it simply unused when you were there?”

Jeremy whirled on Gavin.

“How many buyers did you get for this painting?!” He demanded.

“Oh, uh, three,” Gavin answered, “One ended up ghosting me, but the other two were pretty heated about it. They both wanted it pretty badly.”

Jeremy’s head snapped back to Ryan who was grinning widely.

“We sold it to the highest bidder,” he said, “But that wasn’t the Observatory.”

Jeremy mirrored his grin.

“Um, wot?!” Gavin squawked.

“Yeah, care to cut us in, Dynamic Duo?” Geoff muttered.

“Holy hidden maps, Batman!” Jeremy deadpanned, “It’s a convoluted plot!”

“Precisely, Robin!” Ryan agreed, “I think we’ve all been doped!”

“Sometimes I feel like you guys think you’re the only ones in the room,” Jack spoke up dryly.

Jeremy stiffened. That wasn’t the first time someone had made such a comment. Though the previous times weren’t with Ryan. He looked down at his hands, bitterness and guilt tearing him apart.

“So the basic plot,” Ryan started, “The Observatory’s sewer entrances weren’t being used for some time. Possibly because it’s a labyrinth down there. Turns out, there’s a map.”

He gestured to the painting. The others squinted at it. Ryan sighed.

“The stars,” he pointed out, “If you connect the stars, it’s a map of the sewers.”

He tapped one star on the screen.

“This is where we found the manhole,” he explained.

He traced to another star.

“This is the control room,” he added.

He traced to a final one.

“And this is the dungeon,” he finished.

Gavin grunted and shifted in his chair. Michael reached over and squeezed his hand. 

“So then, anyone who has the map,” Jack reasoned, “Can navigate their labyrinth. Of course they needed it before anyone else got a hold of it.”

“They must’ve been bidder two then!” Gavin chimed in, “Hold on, let me check what their information was.”

He tapped at his tablet a second.

“Astrid and Altair,” he read.

Jeremy jolted. His brain went fuzzy.

_“Astrid.”_

_Jeremy’s eyes widened. Shit!_

_“Altair!”_

_Fuck, fuck, fuck! He covered his ears firmly, squeezing his eyes closed. No no no! I didn’t hear anything! I didn’t hear it! The door opened in front of him and he shrank away, shaking his head. I didn’t hear anything! I didn’t see anything! I wasn’t here! I wasn’t here!_

_Hands were dragging him away, but he kept his over his ears with his eyes squeezed tightly. No no no! I didn’t hear it, I didn’t! Lucien! Please, help me! Please tell them I didn’t know!_

Gentle hands jolted him from his brain, his eyes opening with a burning flood of tears. Ryan’s concerned face was floating in front of him. Care and worry and love. Just what he thought Lucien had. Lucien’s white eyes replaced Ryan’s blue.

_Murderer. Loser. Brother._

Jeremy fainted. Ryan grunted as he caught him. 

“Jeremy?” He called softly.

He pushed away to look at his tear-soaked face. He was out like a light, his face still twisted in distress. He squeezed him into a hug before he stood and lifted him into his arms. He opened the door and carried him past the others to his bedroom. He took off his shoes and jeans and tucked him under the covers. 

He took a moment to even his breathing, try to calm his shakiness, and slow his heart rate. He brushed a hand through Jeremy’s hair. _He looked at me like...like all I bring him is pain._ Ryan covered his mouth, trying to push down the tears. _That is all I bring him, isn’t it?_

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, “I...I’m sorry.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers: PTSD, flashback, panic attacks

Ryan hesitated at Jeremy’s door. He paced back and forth a moment.

_You know nothing about me._

Ryan knew he was right. _I really do know nothing about him._ He stopped pacing and rubbed his face tiredly. Jeremy knew everything before Ryan said it. Knew he struggled to trust, knew he killed Ray, knew he was in love with him, knew what moves he’d make, knew when he needed him, knew how to push his buttons, knew all his insecurities. Jeremy had sliced him open and inspected all his parts, ran his hands all over them, and become so intimately familiar that he knew them better than Ryan did. 

And Ryan knew nothing. All he did was take from Jeremy, hurt him, and demand more and more of him. He took a deep breath and straightened out. He could do this, it was the very least he could do. _He was there for mine, I can be here for his._ He squeezed his shaking hand into a fist and knocked on the door. 

The door opened. He frowned. The door was always locked. Everyone always locked their bedroom door. His heart hammered in his chest. _Something’s not right._ He shoved the door open all the way, unsurprised that Jeremy wasn’t inside. He fumbled for his phone to call Jeremy, but Jeremy’s phone lit up on his nightstand, playing Smooth Criminal. His boots and shoes were all accounted for. _Shit. Shit. Shit!_

He sprinted to the garage. The J6 was missing. Ryan ran back inside to Gavin’s room, banging roughly on the door. The door opened and Gavin’s sleepy face looked up at him. _Fuck!_

“Did Jeremy talk to you?!” He demanded.

“Wot?” Gavin mumbled, looking confused.

Ryan grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him awake.

“Did Jeremy talk to you?!” He repeated.

“Lil J? When?” Gavin grunted.

“Last night!” Ryan shouted, “He’s gone! He didn’t take his phone or his shoes! Did he talk to you?!”

Gavin was suddenly awake.

“What, no!” He shrieked back, turning to retrieve his phone, “I don’t have any messages either.”

“What are you guys shouting about?” Jack grumbled.

“Jeremy left with the J6!” Ryan explained quickly, “No shoes, no phone! He left his door unlocked and partly open! He’s-he’s not h-here! S-some-something’s wrong!”

Ryan felt dizzy suddenly, his breath was coming out to fast. He wobbled, stumbling into the wall for support. _Shit shit shit!_

“Ryan!” Jack called out to him, “Hey, don’t panic yet! We don’t know why he’s missing, okay? Listen to me! We need to find him. He may need our help!”

Ryan’s brain snapped into focus. _The paper._ He shot down the hall, back into Jeremy’s room. His jeans were still where Ryan had left them. He fumbled with them a moment, pulling the paper from one of the pockets. He hesitated. 

This was a breach of privacy, but Jeremy was somewhere out there, possibly in the middle of a flashback, maybe even half naked, and definitely alone. His hand tightened on the paper. No. He should look first and if he couldn’t find him, _then_ he’d read it.  He carefully tucked it in one of his pockets and put his mask on. He ran to the garage where everyone else was already gathered up. 

“Ry! Where are we looking?” Geoff called.

“Someone should check the museum,” Ryan answered, “I think he had the Gecko gloves still, he may have climbed up. Someone should also check the Observatory labyrinth, especially the dungeon. There’s also a place called Lookout, he likes the view there.”

“I know that place,” Jack spoke up, “I’ll go there.”

“I’ll take the museum,” Gavin chimed in.

“Then me and Michael are on the sewers,” Geoff added, “And Ry I assume you know somewhere else, not for the rest of us?”

Ryan nodded sharply and they broke off, rocketing in different directions. Ryan’s hands were tight on his handlebars as he zipped off. _Hang on, Jeremy, I’m coming. You don’t have to be alone._

~

Jeremy was shaking, his brain fuzzy with memories and fear. He was cold, so cold and so alone. He squeezed his eyes closed against the stinging. He couldn’t quite decide which was worse: the past or the present. Especially since they seemed to blend together.

_Lucien shoved him in the closet, putting his finger to his lips. Jeremy shook his head frantically as Lucien slid the door closed. Fuck! He’s going to get caught! The door to the bedroom opened._

_“Hope is powerful.”_

_Jeremy’s chest restricted. Teacher?! What was she doing in Song’s room?!_

_“That’s why you let it grow.”_

_Lord North as well?! Then...this was one of their rooms. Shit shit shit!_

_“So you can crush it,” North added, laughing._

_Jeremy covered his mouth, trying to stifle his panic. Okay, just fucking wait until they leave again, just be fucking quiet. Fuck! Where’s Lucien?? Please be safe! What the hell were they doing both in one of their r-?_

_Oh no. The bed creaked and the sound of clothing rustled in the silence. Oh shit. Oh fuck. I’m going to die. I’m going to fucking die!_

_“Astrid.”_

_Jeremy’s eyes widened. Shit!_

_“Altair!”_

_Fuck, fuck, fuck! He covered his ears firmly, squeezing his eyes closed. No no no! I didn’t hear anything! I didn’t hear it! The door opened in front of him and he shrank away, shaking his head. I didn’t hear anything! I didn’t see anything! I wasn’t here! I wasn’t here!_

_Hands were dragging him away, but he kept his over his ears with his eyes squeezed tightly. No no no! I didn’t hear it, I didn’t! Lucien! Please, help me! Please tell them I didn’t know!_

_His hands were yanked off his ears and twisted behind his back. No! No!_

_“Rimmy, eyes open!” Teacher snapped._

_Jeremy’s eyes popped open and he automatically bowed his head. He stared at the floor, eyes impossibly wide. It was only a moment, but she was definitely not wearing a shirt. Fuck! I saw-! Fuck! They were breaking code, he’d heard their names, and now he’d seen her without a fucking shirt! I’m so fucking dead!_

_“How disappointing, Rimmy,” his teacher muttered, “I had truly hoped you’d be smarter than that.”_

_Jeremy frowned. What?_

_“Rimmy Tim, you stand accused,” Lord North announced, “Of violating Observatory codes five and six.”_

_Jeremy’s heart plummeted. Fuck. Five was nothing, but six? He started shaking._

_“I-I didn’t...I wasn’t...” He protested weakly._

_“You are lousy with emotion,” His teacher grunted, disappointment clear, “I had really hoped you’d see through Lucien’s rouse.”_

_Rouse. They...tricked him. Lucien put him here to be caught._

Jeremy shivered, tears running down his face as he faded out of memory. He wished he could go back and change the rest of the memory. The part where he took the code six punishment instead of giving it to Lucien. 

He felt a pang of guilt for even considering it. _No...no one deserves that, not even the ones who did it to me. Not even Lord North would’ve deserved it._ He wrapped his arms around himself, shuddering. _He’s dead,_ he reminded himself. _He’s dead._


	34. Chapter 34

Ryan was shaking when he finally got to the ruins of the treehouse. Jeremy wasn’t there. Panic surged in him again and he did his best to swallow it back down. He rechecked the messages on the group chat. Jack and Gavin had both checked in, saying they found no sign of him. Geoff and Michael hadn’t checked in yet, but it hadn’t been that long. _It’s not time to panic,_ he told himself. _Get your brain working, Sherlock, think!_

_“You’re saying we missed something?” Jeremy’s words drifted into his head._

_I’ve missed something, I need to retrace our steps, figure it out._ Jeremy had a flashback. During the post-kidnapping meeting. He’d been distressed beforehand, but something had completely set him off in the meeting. The trigger wasn’t in the paper or in the treehouse. It wasn’t his brother nor the leader. All of those things caused him pain, but it was something in the _meeting_ that set him off. 

He’d suddenly slapped his hands over his ears and started shaking and whimpering. So something that was said that he didn’t want to hear. What was the last thing they talked about? The Observatory trying to buy the painting. Gavin had retrieved the information on the second buyer. Ryan couldn’t remember the name, but suddenly he realized it was the trigger. 

_Okay, follow the trail._

~

Jeremy’s pathetic whimpering practically echoed it was so loud. He hugged his arms around himself, guilt stabbing him in the guts.

_Murderer._

Nothing good could ever happen to him. 

_ Unlovable. _

Lucien never cared. 

_ Loser. _

Teacher didn’t either, she just wanted to control him. 

_ Disgusting. _

And what about Fake AH? 

_ Fanboy. _

What about _Ryan?_

_ Bitch. _

Did any of them actually care about him? 

_ Clingy. _

He thought the Observers had, but they’d all fucking lined up to...

_ Slut. _

He was swaying and shaking again, his eyes wide open.

_ Pathetic. _

~

“Everything they gave me is fake,” Gavin grumbled tiredly, “But while I was looking, I found something. Look at this.”

Ryan leaned over to look at the screen. Some sort of insignia, looked like an eye with a crescent moon as the iris and a four-pointed star as the pupil.

“A symbol?” He muttered, “So?”

“So, look at this,” Gavin ordered, flipping to a different picture.

A picture of the original lizard skin gear, the symbol was sewn on the back. Gavin flipped the image again. The map painting, the signature had the symbol. The above-ground observatory’s front door had the symbol. The labyrinth walls had the symbol. _How the hell have I not seen this thing? It’s all over the damn place!_

“Hidden in plain sight,” Gavin answered his unspoken words, “So I’ve wiggled my way into some backroom discussions on the place. Jeremy was right. Massive amount of assholes, very secret. Yet every flippy thief worth a damn knows about ‘em.”

Ryan frowned. _Secretive, but somehow still in the light._

“They’re like us,” he grunted.

“Older, bigger, crueler, better,” Gavin agreed, “But yes, same principle.”

Ryan sighed, rubbing his forehead. Panic was trying to surge in him again. 

“We can’t take them down,” he muttered, “Jeremy...will never be safe.”

“Neither will the rest of us,” Gavin grumbled, “Especially you.”

Ryan squinted at him in confusion. Gavin twisted back and forth in his chair a moment before he realized Ryan was staring.

“Wha?”

Ryan wanted to absolutely choke the life out of him. _Do you ever focus, you idiot?!_

“Why me?” He prompted tightly.

“Oh! They’re lookin for you,” Gavin answered.

He sat forward to switch over to a different window on the screen. A picture of the Vagabond was on the page, with a brief description and explanation. 

The Vagabond

Wanted alive to receive just and fair punishment for murder, thievery, sexual assault, and destruction of property. A $100k reward will be awarded for any tip that leads to the capture of the Vagabond. A $50k reward will be awarded for any tip that leads to the capture of Geoff Ramsey, Jack Patillo, Mogar, or the Golden Boy.

“Sexual assault?!” He demanded.

His fist slammed a hole into Gavin’s desk.

“Jesus, you two were made for each other,” Gavin muttered under his breath.

“How dare they?!” Ryan shouted, hand winding back.

Gavin leapt up to block the swing for his screen. He flinched, closing his eyes and waiting for the blow to land. It didn’t. He opened one eye, then the other. Ryan was frozen with his hand held back, his face twisted into a focused look of realization. 

“Er, Rye-bread?” Gavin called softly, “You figured something out, didn’t you?”

_Sexual assault._ The color drained from his face and his fist dropped. _They...and I’ve been..._ Ryan’s mind was flooded with images of what he’d done to Jeremy. He covered his mouth with one hand. _I...I never..._

Suddenly Ryan couldn’t breathe. He stumbled, dizzy, nearly tripping and fell hard onto his knees. His palms slammed against the ground. _Did I ever... ever make him remember?_ He shuddered, sobbing as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes widened.

The table. He was on his stomach. They’d planned to do it again! And they were going to make Ryan watch. Ryan’s chest erupted with anger and his hands curled into tight fists. _I don’t care if we can’t take them, I’m going to kill every last one of those fucks!_

Gavin’s hand cautiously tapped his shoulder, Ryan turned to him and Gavin immediately retreated, looking fearful, but also extremely worried. Ryan got to his feet, only wobbling a bit. _Okay. First we find Jeremy, then we have a massacre._

“Show me where else you’ve found the symbol,” he growled.

Gavin quickly got back into his chair. He flipped open a word document with a list of places and addresses. It was a long fucking list. Ryan put his hand in the pocket with the paper. He rubbed his thumb across the edge of it, hissing as he got a paper cut. _Why am I not wearing my gloves?!_ He scowled. 

_No, hold off on the paper. Maybe I’ll see something in the list that’ll stand out._ His eyes refocused on the screen. Libraries, city hall, historic sites, cemeteries, roads, houses. Seemed there wasn’t anywhere that _couldn’t_ have an Observatory mark. None of the places triggered anything and he rubbed his palms into his eyelids. 

“Ry, see any place familiar?” Gavin prompted.

“To me? No,” Ryan muttered bitterly, “What about you? Don’t you two go into town all the time?”

“Well yeah, but I couldn’t tell you any of his favorite places,” Gavin admitted, “It’s lucky we have you.”

Ryan’s hands lowered and he looked at Gavin with a frown. _Me?_

_You know nothing about me._

“But I...don’t know anything about him,” Ryan mumbled.

Gavin squinted up at him.

“You stupid?” He asked, incredulous, “You’re the one who sent us out. You’re the one who figured out what set him off. You calmed him down. You got him to relax.”

“ _I_ got _him_ to relax?!” Ryan burst out.

Gavin stared at him, dumbfounded.

“You takin the piss?”He grunted, “Where have you been?! Jeremy’s the most relaxed I’ve ever seen him. He used to be so wound up, so focused on impressing us, pleasing us. Now he’s focused on himself, on doing things he likes. He spends so much time in the gym now and he even requested more equipment. And he told a contact to fuck himself!”

Ryan blinked rapidly, reeling. Jeremy telling a contact to fuck themself?

“Well, he said “If you think working with me gets you in my pants, then you’re delusional and you should only be getting in your own pants” then sent him the middle finger emoji.”

Ryan puffed out a surprised laugh. _Then he’s...not completely miserable._ Ryan was doing something right, even if it seemed buried under a pile of wrong. Something in Ryan’s chest relaxed and his focus sharpened. He began pacing.

Jeremy was relaxed, even with the rough sex they’d been having. He hadn’t been having flashbacks, not regularly at least. He needed to have known for sure that his trigger was gone. Considering names set him off and he easily guessed that Ryan had killed Ray, it stood to reason that Jeremy’s trigger was also a dead person or people. That he probably killed himself or at least watched die, if he was assured they were gone. They almost had to be dead if Jeremy felt _that_ safe. Hearing the names must’ve brought back his fear, must’ve made him panic. _What do I do when my fear about Ray resurfaces?_

_I visit him._


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Sexual assault, flashbacks

Jeremy backed up, hitting the wall behind him, eyes wide. His body shook uncontrollably. He couldn’t breathe. His brain was fuzzy. No. This wasn’t possible. No. He had to be hallucinating. This wasn’t real.

“You’re dead,” He whispered, “You’re dead.”

The man grinned widely at him before turning to the plaque with his name on it. Jeremy watched him trace his finger over the Master Eye. _Run! I need to run!_ His knees wobbled. _Run, damnit!_

“Pathetic,” the man spoke.

It hit Jeremy like a slap, causing him to flinch and jolt. _Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic._

“You can’t even run away,” he continued, “I’m starting to believe my sister is wrong about you.”

_Was. Was. She’s dead, she’s dead! But...he was dead too._ Lucien had been dead at one point, but he turned out to be alive. _Murderer._ Jeremy bit back a sob as he recalled. Lucien was definitely, actually dead now. Jeremy squeezed his eyes against tears. _I need to get out of here! I need to run!_

“Tsk, Rimmy, forget your lessons?” North tutted, suddenly very close, “Be aware of your surroundings.”

Jeremy whimpered as the tip of a knife touched his throat.

“I heard you’ve become even more emotional since last we met,” North commented casually, “Though you managed to kill the freak, well done.”

“H-he’s not a fr-freak!” Jeremy cried, fists clenching, “D-don’t call him th-that!”

He sounded a lot more confident than he was. He whimpered again when the knife pressed hard enough to draw blood. 

“Rimmy, eyes open!” North barked.

_Jeremy’s eyes popped open and he automatically bowed his head_.  He hissed in pain as he accidentally leaned into the knife. North laughed coldly at him.

“Pathetic.”

Jeremy flinched again, more tears pouring from his eyes.

“Pl-please!” He whimpered.

“Urk, you still fucking cry like a baby,” North grunted, nose crinkling in disgust, “What a fucking ugly face.”

_Fuck you look so beautiful._

Jeremy jolted as he recalled Ryan’s words. _Ry...likes my crying face._ North covered his mouth with an annoyed grunt.

“Stop it!” He snapped, “It’s disgusting and pathetic! I don’t want your fucking gross crying.”

Jeremy shrank into himself. _But... Ryan said he likes my crying._ North pulled away from him and spun him, shoving his face into the wall. Jeremy grunted, scowling and started to push off the wall. He froze as North’s boner rubbed against his ass. He twisted Jeremy’s arms behind his back, holding them tightly as he leaned into him. The line of past and present blurred.

_“I get him first, right?” North grunted, “I hate sloppy seconds.”_

_Jeremy whimpered against his teacher’s hand, squirming, trying to get away. Please, please don’t let him! Please, Teacher! Please!_

“My sister’s wrong,” North grunted, humping Jeremy’s ass, “This is all you’re good for: taking it.”

_You’re the best. You’re an extremely valuable asset. I heard them talking about you. They all say you’re the top of the charts._

Ryan had said. But Ryan had also said things like:

_I just threw you around the fucking room and now you’re opening up like a fucking flower you want it so bad._

Which one was the truth? Was Jeremy talented, was he valuable, and skilled? Or was he a slutty hole made to be fucked? Jeremy shuddered. _Can I...be both?_

“So little star, did you miss me?” North taunted, “I bet the Vagabond isn’t as big as me.”

Jeremy almost laughed out loud. Instead, he tried to remember what pleased the guy. He had an ego worse than Ry’s. Jeremy let out an exaggerated moan and rolled his ass back.

“No, not even close!” He cooed, “You’re so big, you fill me up so good!”

“I knew you wanted it, slut,” North growled, “Always begging me for it.”

_Because you threatened to cut off my fingers,_ Jeremy wanted to say.

“Yes, yes!” He cried instead, “I want you so bad, no one can compare to you!”

North shifted backwards to yank down Jeremy’s boxers giving Jeremy wiggle room. He twisted, hooking his leg around North’s waist and spinning, shoving him intothe wall and sending a hook to his head that dazed him long enough for Jeremy to reset and send a roundhouse at his face. 

North blocked it, but still stumbled with the force of it. He sent his foot into his guts next and North grabbed his ankle, twisting. Jeremy grunted, but launched off his other foot, crashing into him, sending him back into the wall. 

He kept a hold on Jeremy’s ankle despite that. Jeremy leapt up, shoving his other foot into one of North’s hands and launching backwards out of the loosened hold, backflipping onto his feet. He slipped in his socked feet and his ankle protested. _Shit. Twisted ankle._

North came at him and Jeremy tackled him to the floor. The man managed to snap off a kidney shot that made Jeremy miss the hook he was throwing at his face. He uppercut Jeremy’s chin, causing him to bite his own tongue. The taste of copper flooded Jeremy’s mouth and he spat blood in North’s face. 

“Disgusting whore!” North growled.

“Yet _you_ still fucked me,” Jeremy snarled as he swung.

He smashed his left fist into his face.

“You’re the disgusting one!”

He smashed his right fist in his face.

“You’re the fucking whore!”

_ Left. _

“I never fucking asked for it!”

_ Right. _

_“You_ forced me!”

_ Left. _

“And _you_ fucking tricked me!”

_ Right. _

“You fucking piece of shit rapist!”

_Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right._

“Why?!” Jeremy sobbed, “I just... wanted to have a family!”

_Left. Right. Left._

“I just wanted to be loved!”

_Right. Left._

“Why couldn’t any of you fucking love me?!” He screamed, slumping forward.

_ Unlovable. _

He gripped North’s shirt, shaking as he sobbed.

_ Pathetic. _

“If...if you’d just...” He whispered, voice thick with tears, “Y-you c-could’ve asked...I pr-probably would’ve...”

_ Slut. _

He let out a strangled cry and lifted, pulling away from North. 

_ Disgusting. _

His face was unrecognizable and the Rimmy Tim gloves were covered in his blood. 

_ Murderer. _

Jeremy stared at his hands, not even trying to stifle the tears streaming down his face. 

_Pathetic. Murderer. Slut. Loser. Disgusting._ _Unlovable._

He heard the flutter of wings and looked upwards. A bird flitted around the glass ceiling. The Master Eye was staring down at the bird, Jeremy, and North’s unconscious body. He shivered, wanting to hide. 

“I’ll never be free, will I?”

~

“No Astrid or Altair,” Gavin grunted, “I hate to say it, but are you sure it’s a cemetery?”

Ryan sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. _No, I’m not. All I know is we’re looking for a dead person._

“But well, they were probably fake names,” Gavin pointed out, “So they may not be under them.”

“That’s a good point,” Ryan begrudgingly agreed.

Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose and started pacing again. He twirled a knife in his hand and tossed it up. The Observatory had specific traditions. He caught the knife and spun it. Lucien, Jeremy’s brother, was Ryan’s only experience with their traditions, so he had to go off the assumption that this was the rule for all Observers.

Originally they’d thought the guy was strung up on the wall. _Toss._ Disgraced because he got caught. _Catch._ But this was part of the convoluted plot. _Toss._ In the end, he was given a funeral pyre. _Catch._ Using this as the rule, the dead person or persons were either ash. _Toss._ Or rotted on a wall. _Catch._

“Do all those cemeteries have columbaria?” He asked.

Gavin stared at him.

“Bless you,” He grunted.

_ Thunk! _

The knife embedded itself into his desk.

“A place for the ashes of cremated people!” Ryan snapped, “Do they all have one?!”

Gavin frowned, turning back to the computer, grumbling about “how the hell would I know that word”.

“They all have crematories,” He muttered, “But only one actually has any ashes.”

_ Bingo! _

“Pull up the list of people interred there,” Ryan instructed, coming over to look over Gavin’s shoulder, “See if you can get some pictures of the plaques there as well.”

Gavin pulled up the list on one screen and started searching for pictures on another. Ryan skimmed through the list, looking for any names that stuck out. _Summer, Ari. That’s it!_

“Here’s the-“ Gavin started, interrupted by Ryan shoving his chair aside.

Ryan centered in on the plaque for Ari Summer, unsurprised to find the Observatory symbol on it. 

“That’s it!” He shouted, grabbing Gavin’s shoulders, “I’m going there!”

“Okay, okay, stop shaking me!” Gavin grumbled.

Ryan let him go and rocketed out of the room to the garage.

_Hang in there, battle buddy._


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed yesterday's upload! I had like three separate drafts then my phone broke, so I had to rewrite it again! DX
> 
> Trigger warnings: Sexual assault, brief suicide implication (no actual suicide)

Ryan burst through the columbarium doors, frantically looking for Jeremy. He heard a distressed noise to his left and drew his weapon. _That's not Jeremy._ He crept over, cautiously turning around the corner. A person with a destroyed face was laying on the floor, wrists and ankles taped together behind their back and eyes covered with tape. Ryan quickly swept the building, looking for any other sign of life, but found none. As he approached the person, he noticed the plaque for Ari Summer. The metal was dented over the Observatory's symbol. 

"Are you backup?" the person on the floor rasped.

_What._

"Yes," Ryan growled, using his Vagabond voice, "Report."

"Lord Arctic North," the man snapped off, "12526. Rimmy Tim escaped, but the tracker was placed."

_Shit._

"And he did this damage to you?" Ryan asked.

There was a moment of hesitation, wherein the man seemed unwilling to admit that Jeremy had defeated him.

"Yes, he caught me off guard," He eventually grunted, "He attempted to seduce me."

Ryan's foot smashed into his ribs before he could stop himself. 

"Fucking liar!" He spat, kicking again.

The guy groaned in pain as Ryan kicked him until he heard a rib crack. He crouched down, pressing the muzzle of his gun to the guy's shattered cheekbone. He hissed in pain, gasping for air. Ryan gripped his throat with his free hand.

"Tell me why I shouldn't blow your fucking brains out all over this fucking place," he growled.

"Because...he d-didn't," the man gasped.

 _Fuck._ That was a good reason. Jeremy had left him alive for a reason. Ryan wanted to shoot him for making sense. He had absolutely destroyed him, but had left him alive.

"Why did he fuck you up this badly?" Ryan grumbled.

Jeremy only did this sort of intense damage when he was extremely emotional. 

"Bad h-history," The man rasped.

Ryan pressed the gun harder against his face, causing a whine of pain. _He hurt my Jeremy._ But Jeremy left him alive. He had to stop himself from shooting the guy. Why did he leave him alive? He'd killed the bitch and he hadn't even done this amount of damage to her. So why not kill this guy? And where the hell was he now?? Ryan stood up, grunting. _Think, think, think!_ He put his hand in his pocket and closed around the paper. He sighed. He really didn't want to read it. He didn't know what was on it, didn't want to know. It was Jeremy's business.

_Thunk!_

Ryan whipped his gun upwards, pointing it at the sound. A bird was fluttering under the glass ceiling of the building. It was struggling a moment to right itself. _Not a threat._ Ryan relaxed slightly, but stared at the bird. It'd flown into the glass? The ceiling was stained glass, decorated with the Observatory symbol. The panes were framed with silver, the crescent pane was gray and the four-pointed star was light yellow. It struck him just how much it looked like an eye staring down at him. He shivered, trying to focus on the bird. It was flitting around, looking panicked and it shot up against the glass again.

_Thunk!_

It dropped a few inches, struggling to right itself, wings frantically flapping to keep in the air. It was trying to get out. _Escape._ The eye seemed oppressive, staring down at him. He wanted to escape too. But the eye wasn't just there. It was everywhere, all over Los Santos, apparently even the world. There was no escaping the eyes. They were everywhere. Ryan shivered, suddenly sweeping his surroundings. _More eyes._ They were on many of the plaques, surrounding him. _Trapped._ He was trapped. His breath started coming out harshly. 

_Thunk!_

He jumped, gun whipping back up to the bird. He panted as he watched the bird dropping, trying to straighten itself. No escape. Jeremy had been here too. He'd been surrounded by the eyes. He was trapped. What had he said about that oath? _My life belongs to them._ They'd never stop, they'd always be after him. And Ryan now too. The only alternative was death. _Capture or death. Capture or death._ Cold fear clamped down on Ryan's insides. Jeremy must've come to this conclusion as well. He must've stared up at that horrible eye and felt despair. Felt alone. Hot tears leaked from Ryan's eyes and ran down his face. _Alone. Alone. Alone._

_Bang!_

Painted glass rained down on Ryan as his bullet shattered the four-pointed star. _No._ Jeremy would never be alone again. Whether he liked it or not, Ryan would be at his back until they died. If Jeremy was captured, then Ryan would be. If Jeremy was fighting, then Ryan would be. If Jeremy died, then so would Ryan. Ryan's gun lowered as he watched the bird flutter out the new hole in the glass ceiling.

 _Hang on, partner._ _Capture or death, I'm coming either way._

~

_Lose your calm, lose their lives._

Jeremy trembled, tears pouring down his face. His limbs ached. 200 feet was nothing to sneeze at, but it wasn't the climbing that was tiring him out. It was his emotion.

_"Emotion," Teacher grunted, "Disgusting. You'll never see your potential if you keep this up. Your attachment to the albino makes you weak."_

_"No! Wh-white Star makes me str-stronger!" Jeremy cried, "H-he's my brother! We're b-better together!"_

_"Ugh, is he crying?" North grumbled, "Like a child. Pathetic. No wonder he likes the freak so much."_

_"He's not a freak!" Jeremy shouted, twisting against North's hold, "Don't call him that! We're family! We would n-"_

_He was interrupted by Teacher's hand on his mouth. He jerked backwards into North in surprise and froze in place, eyes going wide. Code six. No no no! Please!_

_"Do you realize what trouble you're in now, little star?" Teacher asked, voice almost gentle, "Do you realize what will happen to you?"_

_Jeremy choked on a sob. She took it as an affirmative._

_"You have a choice," she informed him in her even voice, "You can take the code six punishment or you can give it to Lucien as punishment for his betrayal."_

_Jeremy's eyes squeezed closed and he sobbed against her hand. Please, teacher, please! I didn't do anything! Please! She lifted her hand from his mouth._

_"Which will it be, little star?"_

_Jeremy sobbed, eyes going tighter._

_"I...I'll t-take it," he choked._

_"Oh, that's what I like to hear," North laughed in his ear._

_He rubbed against Jeremy, reminding him just how happy he was to hear it. Please, no! Please. Teacher's hand caressed his wet cheek, startling him into opening his eyes._

_"Such a disappointment," she muttered softly, "You could be our shiniest star, little one. Perhaps after we break you, you'll see your potential."_

_Fresh hot tears spilled from his eyes as a surge of anger shot through him._

_"I will never be like you!" He spat, "I will never become your little fucking pet! You can go f-!"_

_She covered his mouth again and he shrank away from the furious look on her face. He'd never seen her making such an emotional look. He shook from the force of her anger radiating off her._

_"You are disgusting," She hissed, "You will see, love isn't real. We will break you."_

_“I get him first, right?” North grunted, “I hate sloppy seconds.”_

He was never going to escape. This was all he could do. His limbs shook as he climbed. His brain was fuzzy with memories, his eyes blurry with tears. All he could do was pray that Fake AH wouldn't be dragged down with him. 

"Lose your calm, lose their lives," he sobbed.

~

"You, garbage," Ryan grunted, looking down at the broken guy, "Do you have access to the tracker?"

"Fuck you, jackass," the guy hissed.

_Whack!_

The man groaned as Ryan kicked his cracked rib. 

"Wrong answer, trash," He snarled, "Try again."

"N-no," the guy groaned, strained, "Not that I-I'd tell you."

_Whack!_

A whimper came out of the guy's mouth, accompanied by a trickle of blood. 

"Best you got?" He muttered breathlessly, "Pathetic."

Ryan's boot pressed on his face. A high whine squealed out of him. _Pathetic._ Jeremy had called him that. Ryan's chest burned with embarrassment and anger as he recalled. It'd hurt a lot more than Ryan cared to admit. He didn't like feeling weak. He leaned down, carefully putting pressure on the guy's face without completely crushing it. He propped his elbow up on his knee and loudly flicked open a switchblade. The guy made a small noise of fear.

"I'm going to ask you again," Ryan growled, "This time, you tell me the truth or I'll pry it out of you."

He pressed slightly further down on his face for emphasis. 

"Do you have access to the tracker?" He repeated, low and calm.

"I-I don't!" The guy choked out frantically, "I don't h-have access!" 

_Hm. He's telling the truth._ Ryan tilted his head down at the crying mess under his boot. 

"What did you do to him?" 

The guy's whimpers signaled his unwillingness to answer that question. It was bad, whatever it was. He knew Ryan wasn't going to like it. 

"Answer, trash," He snarled.

"I f-fucked him," the guy sobbed.

Ryan's boot slammed down, finishing the job Jeremy started. The guy screamed in pain.

"No, you didn't," Ryan ground out through gritted teeth, "It's called rape when you force someone, you piece of fucking garbage."

Ryan pulled off his face to cut the man's hands free. He was crying and in too much pain to try to escape. Ryan smashed his boot down on his right hand, getting a high-pitched shriek of pain that echoed through the room. He pulled his phone out as he ground his foot down into the broken bones. He called Gavin, pressing all his weight into obliterating any hand that thought it was a good idea to touch what belonged to him.

"Ry! Did you find him?!" Gavin squawked.

"I'm still a step behind him," He muttered bitterly, "He's not here, can you start searching for him in town?"

"I can see if we're getting any pings," Gavin grunted, "Any idea what area he may be in?"

Ryan looked up at the glass ceiling. _Capture or death._ Jeremy probably wouldn't kill himself if he thought he could bargain for the rest of Fake AH. He'd more likely try to turn himself in with the condition they leave the rest of them alone. So he'd want their attention, he'd want to make them look only at him, remind them why they thought he was so valuable.

"Check the tallest building with Observatory connections."


	37. Chapter 37

“What?!” Ryan demanded, shouting breathlessly into the phone.

He was sprinting up the stairs, trying to get to get to the top before Jeremy.

“Ry, I’ve done it!” Gavin shrieked excitedly into the phone, “I’ve got them!”

“Gavin, what the fuck are you talking about?!” Ryan panted, “I’m fucking busy!”

A shadow crossed the building and Ryan stumbled on a step. He looked out the window to see a helicopter flying nearby. A familiar eye stared at him from the door of it as it slid open. A gunner inside aimed at the building and by extension, Ryan 

“Shit.”

~

Jeremy jolted, heart stuttering at the sound of gunfire. _Minigun. Not fucking good._ That was not particularly the attention he was hoping for. _Fuck._ He climbed faster, forcing his exhausted body to push through the last thirty feet. _Gotta save them. Please don’t kill me, I’m my only bargaining chip!_

His hands found the edge of the roof and he pulled, hoisting himself up and over. He rolled onto his back, panting heavily. The helicopter blades he’d heard were close now and he was pretty sure they’d land soon. 

~

Ryan had dropped his phone. He cursed himself as he sprinted faster than he ever had before. Should’ve kept a tighter hold on it. Shattering glass and gunfire followed him up several floors before the helicopter finally pulled up, presumably to ambush him when he made it to the roof access door. 

His body burned and his lungs ached, but his mind was focused. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to his Jeremy. Not his body, not the Observatory, and especially not Jeremy’s insistence on pushing him away. No, Ryan was going to love him no matter what he said or did. He cried tears of relief as he saw the access door. He grabbed the doorknob only to find it locked. 

“If Jeremy can’t stop me, a door sure as hell won’t,” he grumbled as he brought his leg back to kick it open.

_ BANG! _

Jeremy rolled to his feet, automatically going into a fight stance. His eyes widened as he saw the roof access door had been kicked in and Ryan was shoving through it. _Ryan. He’s here._ _How is he here?_ Jeremy’s feet started moving as Ryan’s eyes swept the place and landed on him.

They sprinted across the roof, slamming into each other with enough force to rattle their bones. Jeremy squeezed him around the middle, face buried in his chest while Ryan squeezed him around his shoulders, pressing his face into Jeremy’s hair and running his hand through it. They were shaking, holding each other so tightly they could barely breathe. Neither let go as the helicopter landed. 

“Jeremy, I’m so glad you’re alright,” Ryan muttered, “I-I was so...so scared.”

“H-how did you e-even find me?!” Jeremy demanded, “I-I wasn’t even s-sure where I was g-going!”

Observers were stepping out as they finally parted enough to look into each other’s eyes. 

“I just...went where I thought you’d go,” Ryan answered, “I-I don’t know. I’m just glad I-I figures it out.”

He put his hands on Jeremy’s face, holding him gently.

“Listen to me,” he whispered, “No more running from me. We’re partners, we stick together.”

Jeremy’s eyes burned as hot tears flowed out. He put his hands over Ryan’s.

“I don’t w-want to take you down with me!” he cried, “I-I want to do something right for once!”

Ryan leaned in, pressing a hard kiss over his mouth.

_“This_ is right!” He insisted, clenching his jaw against his own tears, “This is the most right I have _ever_ felt!”

Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest as he looked into Ryan’s crying eyes. 

_ Disgusting. _

This is right.

_ Pathetic. _

This is right.

_ Loser. _

This is right.

_ Unlovable. _

“I love you,” Ryan whispered, tears burning down his face, “No more being alone. We’ll be together from now on.”

_Family._ Jeremy let go of Ryan’s hands to seize his shirt and pull him into another hard kiss. 

“Ryan, I-“ Jeremy began as they parted.

“Rimmy Tim, Vagabond, hands up!” A gruff Observer interrupted.

Jeremy’s jaw tightened as rage burned in his guts. Ryan’s hold on Jeremy tightened as a similar anger spread through him. _They just interrupted the first time he was going to say it back. I will break every bone in their body._

They shifted apart enough to turn two extremely heated glares at the four Observers with guns pointed at them.

“Four?” Jeremy sneered, “That’s not nearly enough.”

Ryan grinned widely. They started to shift again, to ready for a fight, but the Observers all lowered their guns suddenly. Ryan and Jeremy glanced at each other as they climbed back in the helicopter and closed the door. 

“What is happening?” Jeremy muttered as it rose into the air.

“Um, great question,” Ryan answered as they watched it fly away.

Another chopper headed their way. A bright green symbol on the black metal served as a good indication the people headed towards them were friendly. 

“YOU TWO CUCKS ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!” Geoff’s voice shouted from a bullhorn.

Mostly, anyway.

~

**_One Week Earlier_ **

“Gavin!” Michael shouted.

He rushed forward, shoving Caleb aside to grab Gavin around the middle and squeeze him tightly in his arms. He was shaking, slamming his eyes shut against tears.

“I-I thought...f-for a second-!” He sputtered into Gavin’s neck.

Gavin squeezed him back just as tightly.

“Me too, boi,” he mumbled, “But ‘m alright. Mi-Michael, I love y-you.”

“I love you too, idiot!” Michael cried, “Why did you leave without me?!”

“You were busy!” Gavin argued, “And I needed to get this!”

He pulled back to show Michael a little black box of some kind. Michael frowned.

“Uh...a control box of some kind?” He guessed.

Gavin nodded excitedly.

“And now I know for sure what it is!” He exclaimed, “These Observatory assholes have these things all over! They use them to monitor and control some parts of the city, but more importantly, it’s how they communicate with each other, how they track people, and how they control their implants.”

Michael frowned.

“Implants?” He prompted, “What like that cybernetic shit you were talking about?”

Gavin nodded again, bouncing on his toes.

“They have these implants that can control people!” He explained, excitedly, “It’s totally prototype right now, but it’s working to some degree. If I can get in-!”

He cut himself off, squealing excitedly. Michael couldn’t help but laugh.

“Dork,” he muttered, putting a hand on his face, “Next time wait for me or I’ll kick your skinny ass straight across the country right into the harbor with the rest of your kind.”

Gavin made an indignant sound that was interrupted by an insistent kiss from Michael.

“Ahem, I need to clear him,” Caleb grunted, “For active duty.”

Michael turned fiery eyes on him.

“Ah, look at that!” Caleb amended hastily, “All good. You’re totally fine!”

“That’s what I thought,” Michael growled, suddenly hoisting Gavin up, “Let’s go, you’ve been a bad boy.”

“Micool!” Gavin shouted, face burning.

~

“So it was just a matter of timing,” Gavin explained, grinning.

Jeremy seized him in a tight hug.

“You have the best timing ever!” He laughed.

Ryan grunted, turning annoyed eyes away from them. _Don’t push them apart, that’s possessive._ He scowled as the hug continued with Jeremy praising Gavin for his genius. Finally he broke and yanked them apart. 

“That’s enough,” he grumbled, “You’ll give him a bigger head.”

He roughly tousled Gavin’s hair.

“Good job though,” he muttered, “I couldn’t have found him without you.”

He looked away, face warm. Gavin hugged him tightly and he grunted, starting to shove him away immediately. He stopped and carefully put his arms around him. Gavin choked on a sob and Ryan quickly pushed him back towards Jeremy.

“He’s leaking, fix it,” he grunted, crossing his arms.

“Oh, shit!” Michael shouted, “Ry actually hugged someone!”

“Quick, group hug!” Jeremy yelled, laughing.

Ryan’s fight or flight tried to kick in as they rushed him, but he grunted and forced it down. He grumbled as they squeezed him, but he didn’t push them away. Geoff’s hand squeezed his shoulder tightly and he looked over at him. Geoff gave him a soft, proud smile, filled with warmth. Ryan started crying and dropped his head.

“If anyone says anything about this, I swear I’m slicing their ears off,” he mumbled tearfully.

Jeremy caught his eyes and gave him a watery grin.

_ Family. _


	38. Chapter 38

Jeremy was shaking when the video feed went through. He bowed, despite trying his damndest not to follow his instincts.

“Observer Rimmy Tim, I presume?” The Prince spoke, sounding bored.

“Rimmy doesn’t work for you any more,” Geoff cut in tightly, “And you’re speaking to me.”

Jeremy straightened out, feeling a bit more confident at Geoff’s words. The Prince raised his eyebrows at him before looking down off screen. They heard the sound of shuffling papers before the Prince spoke again.

“Geoff L. Ramsey,” he read, “Head of the gang known as Fake AH. Left-handed, good with a pistol, speciality: social.”

He looked back up, frowning at Geoff who grinned at him.

“I’m also great with a baseball bat,” he joked, “Does your file also say not to fuck with me?”

The Prince rolled his eyes before looking over the other members of the gang. His gaze landed on Gavin.

“Ah, you are the one I need to speak with,” he pointed out, “The Golden Boy. The one holding the city for ransom.”

Gavin gave a wave and a weak grin.

“Everything I do is for King Ramsey,” he chuckled, nervously, “So you better talk to him.”

The Prince’s eyes narrowed briefly before turning back to Geoff.

“Very well,” he agreed, “What are your demands?”

“I’d like to set up an exchange,” Geoff explained, “We stole something before your people could get their hands on it. Your people tried to buy it from us,but were unsuccessful. By the law of criminals, we did nothing wrong. However, your people still sought retribution.”

He paused a moment as the Prince looked down again.

“Yes, I see Lord and Lady North have stretched the truth,” he muttered, clicking his tongue, “Their methods were quite questionable.”

He looked back up at Geoff.

“However-“ he began.

“You can’t just ignore our crimes against your people?” Geoff guessed with a knowing smile, “Yes, I figured you would want to save face. Which is why we will exchange. A payment must be made and we are willing to comply. We will retrieve your painting, the one your people were so keen on getting. We will also return your operative, North, alive. Finally, we will release our hold on your control boxes, allowing you control of the city.”

“And in return?” The other man prompted.

“All members of Fake AH receive a clean slate,” Geoff answered, “And you ensure we will not be targeted again. Should any one of your agents come after us unjustly again, we will retake the city.”

The Prince pressed his fingers together, considering a moment.

“Very well,” he finally spoke, “I accept your conditions. We will coordinate with you to retrieve the disgraced one and the painting.”

“And we will release our hold when the job is done,” Geoff asserted firmly.

The Prince frowned at him.

“Very well,” he agreed eventually, “Then our business is concluded for now.”

“Toodles!” Geoff dismissed cheerfully, waving his hand.

Jeremy dropped to his knees as soon as the feed cut off. He clutched his chest, breathing too fast. Ryan dropped down in front of him, squeezing his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Jer,” he assured him, “You’re safe.”

Jeremy smiled weakly at him.

“I only met him once before,” he muttered, “But fuck it was scary.”

He grabbed Ryan’s hand and squeezed tightly. 

“Alright guys, heist goes down in three days,” Geoff called, “Everyone finish up your jobs. Jeremy?”

Jeremy looked up from the floor, feeling uneasy.

“How’d I do? Convincing?” Geoff questioned, grinning.

Jeremy grinned back, relaxing a bit.

“You were awesome, boss,” he assured him, “Your speciality is social after all.”

Geoff laughed and winked.

“Flatterer,” he joked.

The rest of Fake AH filed out of the room as Ryan helped Jeremy up.

“I’m alright, really,” He mumbled, “Just got overwhelmed for a moment.”

Ryan squeezed his hand and then started pulling him out the door and down the hallway. Jeremy blushed as he got the feeling he knew where they were headed. Ryan led Jeremy through his own bedroom door and pressed up against him, mouthing at his mouth urgently. Jeremy gripped at his shoulders, trying to pull him closer as their mouths moved hungrily against each other. 

Ryan pulled off quickly, dropping to his knees and yanking open Jeremy’s belt eagerly. Jeremy groaned as Ryan pulled his cock out, wrapping his hand around the base before licking at the head in wide stripes. Jeremy’s fingers threaded through his hair as he closed his mouth around him and sucked lightly.

“F-fuck!” Jeremy hissed, “Your mouth is so good.”

Ryan moaned, his mouth sinking further down on Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy’s eyes welled up with tears and he covered his face with his hands. Ryan backed away, moving as Jeremy slumped to the floor. He hugged him tightly to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing his hand through his hair, “Was it too soon? I didn’t mean to-“

“Shut up,” Jeremy sobbed, “It’s not your fault. Just hold me!”

Ryan promptly did exactly that. He held him closely in his lap, pressing kisses in his hair as he cried into Ryan’s shirt. 

“I-I’m sorry!” Jeremy cried, “About th-the treehouse an-and what I said! And f-for r-running away! I’m so f-fucking sc-scared of you! I don’t kn-know what to do!”

Ryan’s chest tightened.

“You’re...scared of me?” He asked quietly, “Did I...was it how we...”

He trailed off suddenly feeling like garbage.

“No you f-fucking idiot!” Jeremy shouted, shoving off his chest, “I mean love! I’m so scared! It n-never works for me! I’m so t-terrified of you deciding you d-don’t love me! Of you le-leaving!”

Ryan reached up to grab his face.

“I’m never leaving you!” He assured him, “I decided already that no matter what, I’m sticking to you. I will cuff you to me if I have to! I never want to be apart from you again.”

Jeremy smiled shyly at him and Ryan had to force down the surge of heat. _Fucking Christ look how cute he is!_

“That’s gonna be some awkward bathroom visits,” he laughed shakily.

Ryan snorted out laughter and brought Jeremy’s face down to bump their foreheads together.

“You’re an idiot, Jeremy,” He teased, “And you’re stuck with me, so get used to mind-blowing orgasms.”

“R-Ryan!” Jeremy choked, going red, “We’re having a moment!”

“False, we _had_ a moment,” Ryan corrected, “And now I’m gonna have you.”

He interrupted more scolding by kissing Jeremy gently, letting his hands slide down his face to his neck. He bit at his lips as he kept one hand on the back of Jeremy’s neck and trailed down to his cock with the other. Jeremy groaned and shuddered as Ryan slowly jerked him off, their kisses going sloppy as he held onto Ryan, thrusting into his grip. Jeremy’s body relaxed against Ryan’s and he swayed. 

“Ryan,” he groaned, “Ryan.”

“What is it, Jeremy?” Ryan whispered between chaste kisses.

Jeremy shuddered.

“Tell me you love me again,” he mumbled.

“I love you,” Ryan answered, “I love you, Jeremy.”

Jeremy kissed across Ryan’s jaw to his ear and moaned softly. He pressed his hand between them, rubbing against the prominent bulge in Ryan’s jeans. Ryan gasped and groaned, hips shifting to rub his cock against Jeremy’s hand.

“I love you too,” Jeremy breathed.

Ryan jerked upwards, filling his boxers and jeans with warmth. He blushed crimson, hoping Jeremy was out of it enough to not remember that later. He hissed as Jeremy’s hand squeezed his softening cock.

”So quick,” Jeremy whispered in his ear, “Think you can get it up again before you get me off?”

“F-fucking hell,” Ryan groaned, “I-I can tr-try.”

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Jeremy groaned in his ear.

“Y-Yes!” Ryan agreed quickly, before quietly adding, “Pl-please?”

Jeremy moaned, jerking up into his hand and cumming. He slumped against Ryan, passing out. Ryan made an annoyed grunting sound as he tried to clean them up and got Jeremy in bed. He cuddled up behind him, pulling him closely to his chest. Suddenly sleep hit him like a freight train. It’d been a long day, but now that Jeremy was safe in his arms, everything was okay enough for sleep.

~

“R-Rimmy, d-o-on’t d-do this!” North rasped, “Y-you kno-ow wha-at the-ey’ll do!”

Jeremy gave him a flat look.

“Yes, funny enough,” he answered dryly, “I’m aware of Observatory policies on paying debts.”

“Pl-ease! I’ll ma-ake it u-up to-to you!” North pleaded.

Jeremy sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. 

“There are so many things about this conversation that are wrong,” he muttered, “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Start with why he thinks he gets to have a conversation with you,” Ryan growled from the driver’s seat.

North made a tiny whimpering noise. 

“Vagabond, you’re showing your fucking creep again,” Michael grunted from the passenger seat. 

“Get your dumbass feet off my dashboard,” Ryan grumbled.

“How can your feet be dumb?” Gavin spoke up.

“If you’re a dumbass, all of you is dumb,” Jeremy offered.

“You’re just on his side because you’re gay,” Michael muttered.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Jeremy admitted, shrugging.

Ryan pulled the van into the parking lot and they piled out. Ryan held North by the collar and dropped him to his knees to wait for the Observers coming to pick him up. The man let out a pathetic noise that made Jeremy roll his eyes.

“R-Rimmy?” He whispered, “Pl-ease, th-the bl-bless-ing.”

Jeremy felt a knife in his heart. Ryan made a motion to shut the guy up, but Jeremy waved him down. He crouched down in front of him, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“From dust to stars,” he spoke quietly, “May you go in peace, Lord Ari Summer.”

“Fr-from sta-ars to d-dust,” North rasped, “M-may your pa-ath st-stay lit, Li-little St-star.”

The knife in Jeremy’s heart twisted. He pressed his forehead to North’s and squeezed his shoulder. 

“Th-Thank y-you,” North whispered.

Jeremy stood, tears welling up in his eyes. He covered his mouth and climbed back into the van, shaking. He didn’t want to cry over him. He didn’t want to cry over his rapist. He covered his eyes, trying to stop the tears. _Lucien, Teacher, and North. I’ve as good as killed them all. And so many of the LS Observers are dead as well. Anyone who could’ve been my family there is gone. I was so desperate for them to love me and I’ve killed them all._ He curled in on himself, sobbing. 


	39. Chapter 39

_Bang, bang, bang!_

Ryan rolled out of bed with a grunt and shuffled to his door, ripping it open. He was prepared to murder whoever was on the other side.

“Ry! Come on!” Gavin exclaimed, grabbing Ryan’s wrist, “We don’t know what to do!”

He dragged Ryan to the kitchen where everyone was crowded around at one end, looking worried. They all parted as Ryan walked up, revealing that Jeremy was further in the kitchen. He was staring at the wall blankly, like he wasn’t really seeing anything. He was holding his mug, which looked full of coffee, but didn’t move, just stared.

“We tried talking to him,” Jack explained quietly, “But he won’t respond.”

“We shook him too,” Geoff added, “But he still didn’t react. He’s been here twenty minutes now.”

“We don’t know what to do!” Gavin repeated tearfully.

“Did anyone see what happened when it started?” Ryan asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Michael muttered, “I think I caused it.”

He fidgeted nervously.

“I don’t know what it was,” he admitted, “But I said “good morning” to him and he suddenly froze, turning into a statue.”

“What did you say exactly?” Ryan pressed.

“I said “good morning, brother,” Michael answered, “Then he just froze.”

_Brother. Right._ Ryan sighed and shook his head.

“It’s not your fault,” he assured him, “You couldn’t have known.”

“Ry, what happened to your nipples?!” Gavin suddenly demanded.

Ryan winced.

“N-nothing,” he muttered, “Shut up.”

He pushed past them to approach Jeremy. 

“Gavin! Don’t ask rude questions!” Geoff hissed behind him.

“Sorry,” Gavin mumbled, actually sounding apologetic.

Ryan gestured for them to fuck off and carefully took the coffee cup from Jeremy’s hand, putting it on the counter. He slipped his hand in Jeremy’s now free hand and tugged it down to hang at his side. He carefully stepped in front of him and cupped his jaw in his other hand. He pressed their foreheads together and Jeremy blinked rapidly, waking up a bit.

“Can you hear me?” Ryan called softly.

Jeremy’s eyes focused on him and he launched into him, sending him back into the cabinets with a grunt. Ryan squeezed him tightly as he buried his face in his chest. Jeremy’s arms around his middle were bruisingly tight and he wheezed a bit. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to relax him enough that he could breathe properly. He was shaking pretty badly, but Ryan couldn’t hear any crying or feel any wetness on his chest. 

“I fucking killed them,” he muttered, “I killed them.”

“I know,” Ryan murmured, pressing his face into Jeremy’s hair, “It...gets easier.”

Jeremy looked up at him with doubt clear in his eyes.

“It does,” Ryan insisted, gently caressing his cheek.

Jeremy searched his gaze a moment before dropping his head back on his chest. 

“You promise?” He mumbled miserably.

“Well, it did for me,” Ryan answered, shrugging, “I hate to promise for you.”

Jeremy laughed dryly, tilting his head up to look at Ryan. He reached up to hold Ryan around the neck and smiled softly.

“I love you,” He whispered.

Ryan’s face blushed pink.

“I-I lo-love you t-too!” He sputtered.

Jeremy laughed.

“You’re so adorable,” he teased.

Ryan went completely red and looked away, embarrassed.

“‘M not!” He protested weakly.

Jeremy yanked him down to plant a sloppy kiss on his mouth. Ryan pushed back eagerly, squeezing him closer. 

“Hey! Not in the fucking kitchen!” Geoff shouted, “I swear to Christ, I will skin you both!”

They broke apart to glare at him. 

“And I want coffee, move,” He grunted, gesturing at them to shoo.

They grumbled at him but moved away. Geoff halted partway, eyes going wide. 

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, “How the hell do you hide that?!”

He pointed accusingly at Ryan’s crotch. Ryan blushed crimson and Jeremy stepped in front of him.

“I will break your face, Ramsey,” he growled.

Ryan shuddered and tugged at Jeremy’s shirt urgently. Jeremy looked at him, raising his eyebrows.

**Now,** Ryan signed at him, **please.**

“Now?” 

** Now. **

“Oh!”

Jeremy hoisted him up by his ass and he immediately wrapped himself around Jeremy, burying his face in Jeremy’s shoulder. _Fuck, he’s being cute!_ Jeremy thought as he moved quickly to his room and tossed him on his bed. He pulled his own shirt off as he grabbed lube and crawled up the bed to kneel between Ryan’s legs. Ryan’s knees were together trying to hide his boner and his blush went down past his collarbones. 

“Fucking Christ you’re adorable,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan covered his face with an annoyed whine.

“So cute,” Jeremy cooed, “I’m gonna fuckin destroy you.”

Ryan shuddered and moaned. His hands dropped one signing “Please” over and over while the other gripped the sheets. Jeremy pulled his boxers off, tossing them far over his shoulder. Jeremy grinned as Ryan’s legs still tried to hide his boner. 

“You remember when you fucked me in the gym?” He teased, trailing his fingers up the back of Ryan’s thigh.

Ryan felt a shiver go up his spine and he nodded.

“What did you say?” Jeremy continued, “Acting so shy when you’re really a filthy whore. So sweet and timid, but if I say open your legs-“

He grinned as Ryan’s legs parted. Jeremy warmed up lube between his fingers as he kissed up Ryan’s thigh to his cock. Ryan sat up on his elbows, watching as Jeremy licked up his cock. He groaned, his fists tightening in the sheets. 

“Ready?” Jeremy prompted, pressing his lubed fingers against Ryan’s asshole.

Ryan nodded quickly. Jeremy closed his mouth around the head of his dick as he pressed in one finger. Ryan gasped, squeezing around him. Jeremy sucked him further into his mouth and rubbed a soothing hand over his thigh. Ryan relaxed, panting harshly. Jeremy fingered him slowly, carefully as he mouthed up and down his cock. Ryan watched him closely the whole time. Because he was anxious or because he just really liked to see Jeremy on his cock, Jeremy didn’t know. Ryan suddenly dropped back to his back and frantically signed something Jeremy didn’t know. _I need ASL courses, shit._

**Now!** Ryan signed instead, scowling at him.

“Sorry, baby,” Jeremy laughed, “I only know a little sign language.”

He pulled up, taking his fingers out of Ryan to lube himself up. Ryan signed something else Jeremy didn’t understand, looking annoyed. Jeremy stared closely at him as he pushed in. Ryan’s eyes and mouth went open in O’s and his spine arched. A long, deep growl of a moan came out of him as his eyes squeezed shut and he rocked against Jeremy. Jeremy clenched his jaw as he watched, trying not to lose control that quickly.

**More,** he signed, **yes, more, more!**

“Ask nicely,” Jeremy ordered.

** Please! **

“Good boy,” Jeremy praised, rocking forward and back slowly.

Ryan’s body twisted and he moaned as he tried to fuck against Jeremy. 

“Fucking hell,” Jeremy groaned, gripping Ryan’s hips, “So responsive. Y-you feel so good.”

**Fast, please!**

Jeremy leaned over him to thrust faster and wrapped his hand around Ryan’s cock. He lamented his inability to get to Ryan’s lips, but made up for it by biting at Ryan’s nipple scars. Ryan moaned, twisting and bending, his hands moving so frantic and shaky Jeremy couldn’t even begin to understand what he was trying to say. Ryan would later be grateful for this as the ramblings turned out to be very embarrassing begging. 

Ryan tightened up around him and Jeremy tried to speed up his thrusting. He bit at Ryan’s collarbone, sucking a line of marks across it as Ryan coiled up, his body twisting in on itself as he got closer. 

“Come on, baby,” Jeremy coaxed, “Be a good boy and cum for me.”

Ryan growled out a moan as he jerked, spilling over Jeremy’s hand and his own stomach. Jeremy put his hand on the back of Ryan’s neck, pulling him down for an open mouth kiss before letting him go again. He grunted as he sped up, trying to hurry his orgasm as Ryan’s body squeezed and trembled around him. 

“J-Jeremy?” Ryan mumbled quietly.

Jeremy looked up, seeing Ryan’s sleepy expression. 

“Was I good?” He whispered tiredly.

Jeremy let out an involuntary shout as he came, eyes squeezing shut tightly. He couldn’t breathe a moment and quickly gasped harshly, trying to catch his breath enough to speak.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” He hissed, “Y-Yes, baby, you were amazing!”

“Yay,” Ryan muttered softly.

“Fuck you’re so cute,” Jeremy grunted.

With some feeling back in his limbs, he leaned over to grab tissues. Ryan was pretty much already asleep as he cleaned them up. Jeremy huffed out a tired breath as he flopped down next to Ryan. _I’m the old man now,_ he thought bitterly. He tugged Ryan into proper spooning position behind him and Ryan sleepily pulled him tightly to his chest.

“Mine,” they whispered together as they fell asleep.

They woke up a couple hours later feeling way more refreshed than the first time they woke up. 

“Is my ass gonna feel weird all day?” Ryan grunted, shifting.

Jeremy’s eyes went wide. 

“You’re...you were...fucking Christ,” he sputtered, covering his face, “I took your virginity?!”

“If you count my dick separate from my ass, I guess,” Ryan muttered.

Jeremy rolled over to face him, squeezing his face between his hands. Ryan raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m so fucking happy,” Jeremy announced, “Even though I know it doesn’t really mean anything.”

“I guess...that would be nice,” Ryan admitted, shrugging, “Sort of possessive though, so yeah, of course I would love it.”

He grabbed Jeremy’s ass causing him to jump and blush.

“Um, a-actually...” he mumbled, “Y-you were, um, my first...a-also.”

Ryan pressed up closer to him and Jeremy covered his face.

“D-did you just g-get hard?!” He groaned miserably, “Y-you’re a f-fucking menace!”

“Can’t help it,” Ryan grunted, “You’re so sexy and cute and all mine.”

He pressed open-mouthed kisses against Jeremy’s neck. 

“Ryyyy! We can’t h-have sex all day!” Jeremy whined, “W-we have work!”

Ryan kissed down his neck to his chest, pushing him to his back. 

“W-well, maybe it c-can wait,” Jeremy groaned as Ryan trailed further down, “F-fuck! It-it can d-definitely wait!”

Ryan smirked as his mouth slid down on Jeremy’s cock.

“Y-Yes, l-later,” Jeremy moaned, “F-fuck, I love y-you.”

Ryan lifted his hand with the sign for “I love you”.

“What a fucking life,” Jeremy laughed breathlessly.


	40. Chapter 40

Jeremy rolled his shoulders, then his neck before bouncing on the balls of his feet and shaking out his arms. He looked at his hands, flexing them in the gloves. They didn’t fit, but they still felt right for this moment. He clenched his hands in fists and his eyes closed. _Lucien, I wish..._

Two hands pressed around his, squeezing and he opened his eyes to look up at Geoff in surprise. Geoff was giving him a warm, but sad sort of smile.

“I know, it feels like you’ve torn your family apart,” he spoke quietly, “But family doesn’t do what they did. It may take years for you to come to terms with that, but just know, your family is here. We love you, Jeremy.”

He turned to show Jeremy that the rest of Fake AH was in the room. Jeremy’s eyes filled with tears and he smiled. 

“I love you too,” he answered, rubbing away the tears, “You guys are the best.”

“Hell yeah we are!” Michael shouted.

Jeremy laughed as Jack elbowed him with a disapproving look. Jeremy’s fists relaxed and he twisted his hands to squeeze Geoff’s.

“Thanks, dad,” he mumbled.

Geoff grinned widely and pulled him into a hug.

“Alright! Let’s get the show on!” He called, turning away from Jeremy.

Jeremy grinned, feeling a lot calmer with his family there for him. He rubbed his thumbs over his palms in Lucien’s gloves. _I wish you could’ve known family like I do._

“Ready, J?” Gavin called.

“Ready!” Jeremy answered cheerfully.

“Alright, Geoff, give us the count!” Gavin squealed, excited.

“Live in 5!” Geoff shouted, lifting his hand, “4...3...2..”

He held up the last one silently and moved go, pointing at Jeremy who straightened up as the camera’s light blinked at him.

“Hi there!” He greeted brightly, “My name is Jeremy, but you would know me is as Rimmy Tim, 15732. I’m a Little Star, just like all of you.”

He waved one gloved hand at the lens.

“I have a story to tell you all,” he continued, “When I was a baby, I was brought to the Observatory. A lot like most of you, I have no idea where I’m from, if I had family, or even if Jeremy was my real name at birth. I grew up being reminded every day that they allowed me to live, being told they were giving me a gift, training me to be an elite acrobat and fighter.”

He paused, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, I _am_ pretty skilled now,” he laughed, “So I guess they did do that.”

He shrugged.

“But the thing is,” he went on, “They trapped us. We had to become what they wanted or die...or worse.”

He winced, looking down at his hands a moment before looking back up.

“We never deserved this,” he spoke firmly, “We never asked for this. We’re all prisoners. Even though I paid my exit fee, they still tracked me down. They tried to drag me back. They mean it when they say our lives belong to them. But they shouldn’t!”

His jaw clenched and he squeezed his burning eyes closed.

“Our lives should be our own!” He growled, “We should be in control of our destinies!”

He opened his eyes, letting his tears leak out.

“Which is why my family and I are going give you control,” he explained, voice firm, “The Observatory is falling as we speak. Look around, you should already see it crumbling.”

Gavin gave him a thumbs up and he smiled.

“What you do now?” He offered, shrugging, “That’s up to you. Your life is yours now. From stars to dust, may your paths stay lit, Little Stars.”

He grinned wider and gave a mock salute. The camera blinked off. He puffed out a sigh of relief, clutching his chest.

“Jesus, that was scary,” he laughed.

His family flooded him, swarming around him, hugging and cheering. He laughed, hugging back and accepting high-fives. They had a long way to go from here, but they were going to be together, so Jeremy knew they’d be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le fin~! Sorry if it’s not the most satisfying ending, but it’s the one I think works best. This story is done, HOWEVER, you may see more installments to this universe if I get around to it. Possible sequels or prequels may happen, but I won’t promise anything.  
> Anyway! Thank you all for reading! Especially thank you to my frequent commenters and all those that left kudos! You guys rock and I never could’ve finished it without your support! Until next time, Little Stars~! ;)


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